Citation: TheSnake. "Difficult First Time: An Experience with LSD (exp111862)". Erowid.org. May 1, 2018. erowid.org/exp/111862
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Difficult 1st Experience With LSD
I would like to start out stating that my writing skills could use some work so please bear with me through my story about my first LSD experience. I hope that it may persuade others to not ignore set & setting as I did.
As much as I now wish I would have written this down when I had more of the pieces still in my head to recall, I'm writing this 5 days after my first experience with LSD. I will start off by saying that I didn't have any intention of trying it for the first time at a small music festival after getting a good alcohol buzz going, but that is how it worked out. My previous experience with psychedelics is limited to three .5g doses of some (by what others said) fairly potent mushrooms and that is it. So basically I had micro dosed mushrooms before this and that is all. I have become interested in psychedelics mainly for self improvement, not so much for recreation.
Me and my wife showed up to the festival (at a small lake outside of town) about 6PM with a few beers, a jar of apple pie moonshine, some good bud, and a couple of sleeping bags (we decided to just post up in the van when the night was over). I am by nature a little anxious especially around people I do not know, so the first thing I did when I parked the van was grab the apple pie and take a few sips to calm the nerves. We were a little late so the first band had already started playing so I grabbed a beer and we walked on up by the stage. A few bands and a few beers later (6 maybe?) it was good and dark and the final band was about to go up which was supposed to be really good. It turns out after just 6 beers I was feeling loose enough to think that trying LSD at 9pm around a bunch of strangers was a great idea!
It turns out after just 6 beers I was feeling loose enough to think that trying LSD at 9pm around a bunch of strangers was a great idea!
So I took 1/2 a hit (they were supposed to be 100ug), and went back up by the stage. The final band was setup and had started playing, over the next hour I didn't notice much of anything besides the music was amazing and I was having a blast.
About 10:30 or so the music was done and it was time for socializing around the fire. My wife's brother was there and I spent most of the night hanging around him and his friends, he took one hit of LSD, and also two supposed 'mushroom pills', he has much much more experience with these things than I do. So I find myself sitting on a cooler noticing how the Toyota Camry parked in front of me was getting pretty 'fuzzy', but nothing else had changed visually, and I didn't feel any head change.
At this point I decided to take the other half, not thinking about how long this was going to last. Fast forward to 1am, the car is even fuzzier but other than that nothing much has changed, at this point I start thinking that this must not be LSD, but I had never had it so I didn't know.
Getting bored with the ordeal I decided to smoke a little herb to liven things up a bit. Three decent pulls later I noticed that if I shut my eyes I'm seeing patterns, first time for that, it was exciting and a little scary at the same time. I was expecting quite a head change this far into an LSD trip but I honestly felt quite sober and was still left with a fuzzy Camry to stare at. About 3am it was getting cold and the wind had picked up, and my 'fun meter' was pretty much bottomed out, I just wanted to call it a night.
At this point I decided to try and lay down in the back of the van with the wife and get some sleep knowing that it probably wouldn't happen, but I had to try. I got into my sleeping bag, closed my eyes, and started to try and enjoy the visuals. About 2 minutes into the visuals they fairly quickly faded into the deepest black I have ever 'seen' and for a moment I felt so peaceful like everything was perfect at that point in time. Unfortunately it was only a second after this feeling that I for some reason thought I was dying or something and went into panic mode. I opened my eyes just to find that I still couldn't see anything, little did I know my face was covered by the sleeping bag (yes please laugh, even in panic mode I chuckled inside a bit when I realized what was happening). So the panic got worse, I figured out the sleeping bag issue, I sat up and thought 'I have to get the hell out of this van now!', so I did.
I stood outside the van looking around and pacing for a couple of minutes trying to get control of myself. While I never completely shook that feeling that night, I did manage to get back over to where my brother in law was, luckily they were cracking jokes and being positive which helped me get through the next couple of hours. Somewhere in there I noticed that the logs in the fire had hieroglyphics on them, which at this point I really didn't want to see, I just wanted it to be over with. I sat silently for the next hour or so with the feeling that I am one thread away from loosing my sanity and around this time my brother in law was talking about calling it a night and I was thinking this dude is keeping me sane, this is going to get more difficult. By some strike of luck the wife woke up and of course wondered where in the hell I was, so she showed up and I was relieved.
We went back to the van and I explained to her that I really need her to stay up with me because I feel like I'm on the edge of loosing it. I was in a state of fear/panic and I had no reason to feel that way, which was the worst part about it. The whole night I had been thinking please just let the sun come up, if the sun comes up I will be fine, then the sun came up and I changed my mind. I still had the 'crazy' thoughts and now I had tree limbs moving not steadily in the wind together, but moving in different directions in a jerky, point a to point b instantly motion back and fourth, I did my best to enjoy it but with my state of mind I found it if anything slightly disturbing. It also looked as though the sun was coming up from the east and the west at the same time which I will admit was quite fascinating. The clouds were flowing in waves like an upside down ocean, the color of the sky in the west felt so alien like this color has a direct tie into my nervous system and makes me believe something bad is happening over that way, like there is no more world beyond this 'wall of color'. After about an hour of the sun being up I calmed down enough that we decided to head home (the wife drove of course).
Leaving the lake was quite a good feeling, as though I thought that was all that was left and I wasn't sure that I would see 'the world' again. By the time we got to the house I still had a bit of worry that I would be stuck with some amount of constant panic as it was still there, just not near as bad. Walking up to the house I noticed how green the fresh vegetation was, and how everything just looked over saturated and beautiful. I headed inside but quickly turned around because I wanted to enjoy something about this ordeal, at this time I was very much enjoying being outside.
I wanted to enjoy something about this ordeal, at this time I was very much enjoying being outside.
It did take a couple of days to shake the 'residual' feelings I had going on during the trip, especially while trying to go to sleep, or smoking some bud. As of now, 5 days later, I would say I feel pretty normal and thankful for that. Now I just wish I wouldn't have panicked and went with the strangeness, I'm quite curious what was behind that door that I ran away from.
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