Citation: mr.scoobs. "So This Is What Dementia Feels Like!: An Experience with Scopolamine & Diphenhydramine (exp112119)". Erowid.org. Sep 11, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112119
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
Mindset: Relaxed, no pressing concerns or anxiety, my mood I’d describe as my usual upbeat and contented feeling in that period of my life. The setting was my home at that time, so I felt comfortable and at ease, I was on my own and expecting no interruptions or people dropping around. It was ~11pm on a weekend (Saturday I think), summertime so the weather was warm, calm & usual for this part of Australia at this time of year.
To summarize, I felt safe and secure, no concerns and comfortable. During that period of my life, I was not taking any other medications, supplements or vitamins and had not for years prior. I was, however, a little bored, which may help explain why I decided it was a good idea to take 30mg of Scopolamine and 1000mg of Diphenhydramine (DPH).
In explaining my experience it gets really challenging, as the concept of time kinda lost any meaning to me, 1 second may as well have been 1 hour, the terms of time and the passing of time were absolutely meaningless to me at that point. Another difficulty in trying to describe my experience was the black-outs
Another difficulty in trying to describe my experience was the black-outs
, there are periods that I cannot account for, that I have zero recollection of. Therefore, rather than trying to guess what I may have done or felt during these black-out periods, I’ll just type what I definitely know happened. So in these black-out periods, the only thing that I knew for certain was that I didn’t know, thus I’ll leave those periods blank.
The scopolamine was in the form of 100 x 300mcg tablets and the DPH was in the form of 20 x 50mg gel-caps, all are available OTC in Australia at that time. I had not taken scopolamine or diphenhydramine for many years and never in combination or at these doses. Nor had I taken any other drug or supplement that day or month prior. I took the lot orally with water and sat in my recliner waiting to see what may happen.
T +15 min : Beginning to feel a ‘haziness’, like a 'wavey dullness’ within my consciousness, nothing crazy or alarming.
T+ 45 min : The hazy feeling has intensified and is continuing to intensify at an accelerating rate. Not feeling any alarm or concern.
T + 60 min : I could barely form a thought, my brain ‘feels’ like its wrapped in bubble wrap, and I had to ‘fight’ my way to out to think or speak. I began felling an urgent need to think about something, perhaps a thought like “where is my cellphone”, I’d then stand up and after taking 2 or 3 steps I would wonder where it is I am walking to, and why the hell am I walking there in the first place. So I’d go back and sit down only to do the same thing all over again and this repeated over and over.
T+ 75 min : I could no longer form coherent thoughts whatsoever, it was like a jumbled mix of thoughts and words in my mind that made no sense, yet somehow I felt there was something I urgently needed to do, but just couldn’t remember what it was, it felt just like when one struggles to recall something and can't, yet it felt like it was on the tip of my tongue. I don’t recall feelings like anxiety, fear or alarm …. in fact, I don’t recall feeling anything at all. Now that didn’t mean that I felt good, bad or anything else, it means that the thought of ‘feeling’ just didn’t even enter my consciousness.
T + approx 180 min: It feels like I basically just arrived on the planet (as in just born) with no thought of ‘before this moment’ even existing, why I should be where I am or what I’m trying to do. I came out of blackout walking down a highway…
I came out of blackout walking down a highway…
like literally, as, in one second, there is nothing then BAM ….. here I am walking along a highway wearing nothing but board-shorts and socks (no shoes). Even though I was likely just a mile or so from my house, I was completely lost both geographically and mentally. I walked aimlessly for what seemed like hours but could not find my home. I remember feeling sad and anxious and hopeless that I couldn’t find my way home, and for periods I recall thinking that this is ‘forever’ and I will be lost forever. At this point I was still unable to form coherent thoughts and felt very lost, for a while I'd intermittently disappear back into the ‘unconscious blackness’ and then re-appear for a moment.
T + approx 240 min: I finally found my street (by accident) and then my home, I recall an overwhelming sense of “finally I’m safe again'. After this, I pretty much just sat on the lounge and waited for effects to wear off.
Were there any hallucinations (auditory or visual)? There was occasional ‘wall breathing’ visuals but they were minor and intermittent, I don’t recall any auditory hallucinations.
There was no nausea or vomiting, no euphoria, no headaches, GI distress or other symptoms experienced. I did, however, experience dry mouth, temporary urine retention, blurred vision and confusion, initially I felt pronounced sedation but either that wore off or I just forgot about it. All of these side effects are typical of anticholinergics (of which scopolamine and DPH are examples).
In essence, this is absolutely not something I would do again, nor would I recommend others to try it out. If I were ever curious about what dementia might feel like, from the perspective of the subject, then this I imagine would come close (its the main reason I did it). All that being said, I’d still not recommend this combination to anyone.
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