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Delirium Pills
by Yuki
Citation:   Yuki. "Delirium Pills: An Experience with Diphenhydramine (exp112148)". Erowid.org. Jul 25, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112148

750 mg oral Diphenhydramine (pill / tablet)


I also cannot stress enough, that Diphenhydramine should be treated with the utmost respect. It's not something to be played with. Experiences are almost always extremely frightening. Although it has been almost a month since this experiment took place, I still feel worried that I have done permanent damage to my heart, and still experience the occasional paranoia-inducing hallucination in the corners of my vision.

I have had a previous experience with Diphenhydramine once before, but did not get many effects. This was a pretty dark period in my life, and was feeling stupidly reckless. Again, please don't do what I did.

[00:00] I swallowed the tablets on an empty stomach with water in small multiples. All 750mg was consumed within a minute or two. I then got comfortable at their computer, putting on youtube and some relaxing background music. In my previous experience with this substance, I've have found that music seems to become more dynamic, and had therefore made a playlist for my next experience.

[+00:15] The first effects began to manifest. The first noted one being a slight loss of coordination, felt by an apparent increase in gravity, which would slowly increase to quite a considerable level over the next hour. I would compare it to having a bucket attached to each limb, which slowly filled with water.
I would compare it to having a bucket attached to each limb, which slowly filled with water.

[+00:25] The first visual effects were now beginning to show. Again, as with previous experiences with this substance, the first noted visual effect was a faint, colourful pattern that seemed to float just above the surfaces in my room- very similar to how a thin layer of oil looks floating on top of water, and could also be interacted with in a similar fashion (e.g. running fingers over the surface of the desk would cause an apparent slipstream to form, and the patterns to swirl inwards and away again.

Along with this, I also began to feel just a hint of unease, that this experience might be just a bit more intense than they had bargained on, but told myself to not get worried, and to try to relax. I moved to my bed, after turning off computer monitors and dimming the lights. I would be stuck on my bed for the remainder of the experience.

[+00:30] Within the timeframe of about five minutes, the feelings of unease and anxiety grew to a crazily high level. I had never felt more anxious before. My heart felt like it was swollen and beating erratically- and at this point I had became aware that my breathing was now entirely manual, and my lungs would not fill and unfill without conscious effort.

At this point, I noticed trails of ants crawling over their walls. The insects seemed to be moving around the edges of shadows or darker colours, as if to outline them more boldly. This is another common visual effect I has found with this substance. Nests of these entities seemed to of manifested in the now very dark corners of the room. For a while, I admired the hallucination while trying to get comfortable with the intensifying body high, noting the realism in the insects movements and anatomy.

After a few minutes, I realised that the effects would become too intense within a short while, and attempted to message a friend who had agreed to be around as an emergency contact. I lost the ability to type and see properly about halfway through the message; the text on my phone screen, although set to its largest size, had begun to double and warp, making it impossible to understand. Realizing that I would be on their own for this trip, I closed their eyes and attempted to make themselves as comfortable as possible.

[+00:40 onwards] (From this point on, I cannot accurately add timestamps as I stopped using my phone)
While my eyes were closed, I would occasionally hear people walking around in my house. My siblings and parents were home, so I can't say whether or not they were really walking around or not. Once or twice I would hear a door slam, which made me jump each time.

After about ten minutes of having my eyes closed, attempting to stay grounded to reality by going over the lyrics to songs currently playing, I finally gave in to temptation and opened my eyes. The room was not the reincarnation of hell I had been expecting (yet), despite the overpowering feeling of dread suggesting it should of been, and I was pleasantly surprised and a little relieved.

I sat up a bit in bed to better view the room. Although it didn't seem to of changed much, a few foggy grey spheres, with no discernable surface, were hanging in the air next to my wardrobe, and my curtains looked infested with spiders. Upon this latter realization, I immediately became aware of the sea of daddy-long-legs which now covered their bedsheets. These creatures were blindly crawling over each other, and despite liking spiders, I found the entities movement incredibly unnerving, dreading feeling them upon their skin- and although visual and tactile hallucinations of just that almost immediately began, I was able to stay calm and ignore to sensation of a swarm of spiders scurrying along my arms and face.
I was able to stay calm and ignore to sensation of a swarm of spiders scurrying along my arms and face.

Turning my attention back to the wall, I immediately spotted one big, fat hornet sitting in the middle of their wall. This would be the first real test of nerves for me, as I have a bad phobia of wasps. Although the insect buzzed angrily a couple of times, I was able to quell the initial instinctive reaction to set a new land speed record, and instead opted to stare out the hallucination, telling myself that it was simply not real. One blink, and the wasp had multiplied into ten, then a hundred. Next thing I knew, my entire wall had changed into wasps, all buzzing aggressively. It was like being inside an enormous nest. And then, they were gone.
Calming my breathing, I decided to close my eyes again, and entered into a state of what they can only describe as pure delirium. My consciousness seemed to be falling through one reality after another, existing for a few seconds in the situation within each, before being ripped into the next one. These visions of alternate realities seemed to be a mixture of previous experiences and memories I have, and unknown ones which utilized various relations as it's characters. One of these visions seemed to be reccouring; I could see myself sitting cross legged on the bare floorboards of a room with no door or windows, with peeling wallpaper and a dense darkness which seemed to occupy the corners of the room. My replica had no eyes, merely empty sockets. I would sit in silence for a few seconds in the middle of the room, apparently in deep thought, before dispatching in various ways, none of which I feel comfortable recording here.

Upon reopening my eyes, I found my room to be in a state horror which I find difficult to put into words. As terrifying as the visual hallucinations were, nothing was quite has horrible as the ominous presence that seemed to fill the room. It felt as if some fluid entity were occupying all the spaces I could not see, generating unspeakable horrors which would be visible crawling out any second later. Giant spiders were crawling over everything, the ones on the ground were thick and hairy, and those on the walls and ceiling had legs insanely proportioned to their size, so that chains of legs hung from the light shade and shelves.
The only pleasant hallucination I experienced was watching Team Fortress 2 and Overwatch gameplay on my wall, and unpowered monitor (thanks for helping me stay calm B4nny)

From this point onwards, I have no reliable memories, other than waiting for the worst of the body high and restlessness to wear off before eventually falling asleep.

I cannot be 100% sure whether everything happened in the order I listed it, as my memories felt very scattered when I woke up, and began to slowly write up my experience.

Exp Year: 2018ExpID: 112148
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 25, 2018Views: 1,240
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Diphenhydramine (109) : Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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