Citation: nervewing. "Vicious Hedony: An Experience with N-Ethylhexedrone (exp112157)". Erowid.org. Jul 25, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112157
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 0:20
| T+ 1:30
T0:00- I am hanging out in my room with two close friends who are just smoking weed. I cut the powder into a line and suck it down. The pain is instant and intense. It feels like snorting a 2C-x compound, just blinding searing stinging- all I can do is sit there and clench all of my muscles as tears stream down my face. It is like there is a fire in my nose.
T0:02- Oh. This isnít so bad actually. Despite the initial and very intense burn, everything inside of my head it has touched seems to have gone completely numb. The stinging has faded with an almost orgasmic relief, and a numbness at the back of my throat has kept me from feeling or tasting the drip. Not bad at all. It doesnít give that stinging sore throat feeling that a lot of chemicals give as they travel down the soft palate- itís just blank now. I feel giggly and uppity.
T0:08- I feel so lifted and bubbly. Everything is funny and every possible activity seems fun in the moment. Thereís so much I want to do. I am squirmy with buzzing electric energy coursing through my muscles, I cannot sit still at all.
T0:11- I just want to talk to my friends about everything, I feel so confident and so good about myself. I just want to brag about things and tell them how great Iím feeling. Iím moving so fast I feel like I could get a lot done if I was able to focus my energies. But I also just feel like I can do absolutely anything I want right now, there are endless possibilities in the world. I need to chew gum to relieve the jaw clenching.
T0:20- I keep feeling like I need to stop and catch my breath, like its constantly running short or like something is sitting on my chest. My heart is beating fast but it doesnít worry me in the least. I feel like I couldnít be worried about anything if I tried right now. I smoke some weed and that accentuates the experience gently and manageably with a softening of the edges. I can now taste the drip running down my throat, but it doesnít sting or cause discomfort at all which is nice. A friend Iím messaging warns me about the crash but cursory research tells me that I havenít dosed high enough or redosed enough to catch the brunt of it.
T0:30- I feel sappy and sentimental. I want to tell my friends about all sorts of things, I want to open up to them and be honest to them. It honestly just feels like a very stimmy empathogen. Itís giddy energy and raw, rushing chemical euphoria. This is just pure feeling good in a powder, this is a ravishingly hedonistic experience.
T0:35- The ride already seems to be slowing down. I feel a calm pleasant glow and a general feeling of happiness but also a sense of ďis this it? Is there more?Ē. There is no longer the raw, screaming, rushing feeling, the firehose of happiness blasting my mind. Itís just the aftermath now. This stuff is fiendish. If I had more I would absolutely suck it up right now, just to shoot up to that level again, just to feel that warmth and happiness again.
If I had more I would absolutely suck it up right now, just to shoot up to that level again, just to feel that warmth and happiness again.
The hints of doubt and self consciousness that creep in one the comedown of empathogens for me start to show themselves. Have I annoyed my friends by talking so much and being so sappy? Do I get out of hand when I feel good? Maybe this is why I try to keep myself down so much. I feel a slight sense of shame. No matter though, Iím still high as fuck and it feels good.
T1:00- I find myself touching rough surfaces and obsessively stimming with my fingers. If I was on this for too long I can definitely see myself compulsively wearing my fingertips raw. The predominant feeling in my mind right now is ďI wish I was at the peak againĒ. I am still well altered but I feel like I canít enjoy it because Iím fixated on the memory of when it felt even better. It feels like when a roller coaster has ended and the car is slowly pulling back into the entrance.
T1:30- I wish I could just focus on the experience in the moment but Iím obsessively thinking about chasing that high. I am mostly down at this point and smoke a lot to compensate for the void that has been left in this drugís wake.
T2:30- Almost entirely down now except for a bit of physical stimulation- restlessness and stimming with my fingers. I definitely couldnít sleep right now or anything.
T7:00- Finally manage to fall asleep with the help of copious cannabis.
Conclusion: Whew. This stuff feels too good. I should not have access to a substantial amount of this drug. I do not feel like I am meant to feel as good as it made me feel. People compare it mostly to cocaine but it felt very empathogenic to me, though it also did indeed have that stimulant audacity and confidence to it, moreso than other empathogens Iíve tried. Itís fiendish and tempts me to redose just to chase the peak of that high.
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