Citation: Gusvz. "Delusions of Heart Attack and Hospitalization: An Experience with LSD, Alprazolam & Diazepam (exp112211)". Erowid.org. Aug 24, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112211
To understand the context of this its important to know that this report happened 2 months after this experience
After an incredibly negative and distressing MDMA trip while on a steroid cycle 2 months ago, I had decided to cease all drug use for 2 months, as I developed severe panic attacks and health anxiety from that experience. I continued my steroid cycle and kept on lifting and going to the gym and trying to live a healthy lifestyle. After 2 months since that experienced passed, I decided to venture back into LSD, one of my all time favorite substances. Since my bad experience with the MDMA, I became paranoid that I had done damage to my heart, even though when I was hospitalized when the MDMA experience happened I was assured my heart was fine. I had visited 3 more cardiologists and had 6 ECGs done which showed no abnormalities, and on the day of this experience, I decided I would go to a top hospital in my country and get checked again, and if everything turned out fine, I would stop this irrational fear and ease back into recreational drug use.
So I had an echocardiogram done, which confirmed that my heart was in excellent shape, without the slightest abnormality and that I had to stop worrying so much, my steroid cycle was also over, so I decided that it was time to trip again.
So I decided that was it, I arrived home with my girlfriend and I took out 3 LSD tabs, I had previously done this same batch countless times with great experiences, the dealer claims they are 150 ug tabs each but of course he has no way of proving that
the dealer claims they are 150 ug tabs each but of course he has no way of proving that
, but a single one gives me a decently intense trip. Before all of this happened, I used to trip weekly from this batch with my girlfriend, my tolerance grew so high I was taking 5 tabs at one point. I made the idiotic mistake of dosing 3 tabs thinking I would be alright if I had done 5 before, not taking into account I had been drug-free for 2 months and my tolerance had dropped considerably.
I always knew not to trip when having negative thoughts, I was extremely anxious and worried about tripping, but I wanted to prove to myself I could beat this anxiety so bad I still ate the 3 tabs. Maybe 30 minutes after ingesting them.I knew I had made a big mistake, I started having paranoic thoughts about my heart, obsessively taking my blood pressure every 10 minutes. I noted some slight vasoconstriction, normal for LSD use, but in my paranoid state I thought it was really severe, so I got into a hot shower to try to open the veins up a little bit, I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought I looked extremely pale, but my girlfriend said I looked fine. I jumped into the hot shower like a madman with my clothes on, thinking I needed to stop the vasoconstriction quickly. I also started getting chest pains and I felt I couldnt breathe. I begged my girlfriend to let me take some Xanax, but she told me I had to be stronger than that and that it was all in my head. This proved to be a great mistake as I ended up being hospitalized which could have been prevented by promptly using the benzos. I got out of the shower and I broke into a cold sweat, I was sure I was having a heart attack. I asked her to call an ambulance immediately, she realized the severity of the situation finally and gave me 4MG of Xanax, but it was too late...
While the Xanax kicked in I kept feeling worse and worse, I also started having very strange sensations I have had on other LSD trips, like when I took the Xanax, I could 'feel' it going down my stomach, and I could feel it breaking down and working, its hard to explain. I also had a sensation of feeling my brain, like I would feel part of my brain like it was being stimulated, and I would get some jaw clenching like I get in LSD when I felt that.
I would feel part of my brain like it was being stimulated, and I would get some jaw clenching like I get in LSD when I felt that.
Finally I told her to call an ambulance, which was completely idiotic since by the time the ambulance arrived I was feeling much better since the Xanax had kicked in. I still ran out to the ambulance without a shirt on, I must have looked crazy. I dont remember much about the hospital stay because of the heavy benzo dose I took, but I remember that basically I obviously wasnt having a heart attack and it was a panic attack. I received IV valium, which I protested because I had already taken Xanax, I remember saying out loud several times 'it was just a panic attack, how stupid I am...' I remember my father and my girlfriend at bedside with me, and other random stuff... I finally was discharged that same day at midnight. I have never been able to get past the shame of the burden I was that day on my father and not preventing the hospital visit by taking the Xanax more promptly.
I always try to ride out panic attacks first since that experience, but if I know after 10 or 15 minutes its not going to get better, its better to take benzos than to be hospitalized or endure a traumatic experience.
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