DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:00		smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:20	1 hit	sublingual	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:00		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

54 kg

So, in the summer of 2017 I was in a full blown drug abuse phase, as I was playing at some psytrance parties to make some money and hangout with lots of people with lots of drugs. I've always been a LSD lover, not taking any other drugs in my early years, LSD was always the option since I could handle it pretty well, better than most of my friends and it would let me be awake for hours without having to spend money. I made a six months break at the beginning of the 2017 until I met some dealers, in the summer, and later became really close friends.

They had lots of LSD and amphetamines and I asked them how strong the acid was, how many micrograms. They tell me they don't know, they just know that the acid is really strong and they have had the same batch for over an entire year. Those tabs were so small, almost half the size of a normal tab. So for the next two months, i started abusing LSD and now, I was also abusing speed, really badly. I was taking speed every morning before going to work, maybe 3 tabs of acid per week, MDMA every weekend, cocaine now and then, and I was completely aware that I was becoming addicted.

So this is where this story begins. Me and my friend Paul were going to our friend Julian's birthday party in his apartment. I knew they both enjoyed psychedelics but they had never taken them with enough dosage to reach the desired effects. So, I went to meet my friend and bought him four tabs. He didn't had any amphetamine that night with him, so I decided it was better to buy enough acid for the whole night and the next morning, so I can keep awake and still enjoy the next day. We then proceed to buy weed and we had to wait a little, so me and Paul decided to take the acid.

T - 00:00 - We were in my car and I took one tab while he took half a tab. We still had some joints so we sat there smoking for a bit, still waiting. No set, no setting, I'm that kind of person who likes to shoot himself while tripping into the world. But that night, oh boy, everything would change. Note that the max dose that I went with LSD was probably 200ug and these tiny little tabs my dealer had felt just like that - 150ug to 200ug.

T - 00:20 - The weed dealer arrives at the car and sits in the back sit, talking to Paul. I was staring deeply at my side mirror and I was looking into my right eye. I started to get inside my pupil and before I knew it, I could not see my reflexion anymore in the mirror, but I was looking at it. It felt like I was looking right through my soul, as if our souls lived in our eyes, specifically in the dark pupil area. I snap out of it and when I look around, I'm already entering the visual colorful world, although this happened at night. Everything was shining so bright, it looked like daytime. We smoked a spliff with the guy and before we went to the party, I still don't know why, I felt like going on an adventure, so I took another full tab. I usually don't chew my tabs, I swallow them instantly but when I dropped the second tab on my tongue, hmmm, my body just said to me, 'you better chew that tab really, really slowly, or you'll be completely fucked before you get to the party'. This night was going to the unknown, and my body knew of that. We had to drive 15 minutes to get to Julians house, and I trully felt like I was on Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, my trip was getting stronger and stronger and my brain was getting more and more distracted as I started to drive.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
T - 00:30 - Now I am driving, I love Psykovsky so I put it in my car stereo.For those who don't know Psykovsky, he is a russian darkpsy artist, really twisted, really obscure. Most people would hate the idea of listening to his music while on acid, but I loved it. I put the song Uganda Ranga and I've never heard anything like that, even though I listened this music almost everyday. This was a poem, and a really complex one. I could listen to classical music influences on his music that I've never heard before, It was magic. Me and Paul were smiling and feeling goosebumps all over the place. It was incredible.

Then, the song reaches a calm part with a beautiful melody, and experimental noises going all crazy and suddenly a brick of heavy kick, bass, and darkness drop on top of yourself. God I was feeling the acid like I never felt before, I was getting completely mind bended by the creativity of this genius. The music was controlling me and at one point I turn it off. I could no longer comprehend sounds, the sounds had transformed into energy. This was a struggle. We arrived to Julian's town and I could not find a parking spot, my anxiety was building up so fast that I could no longer think straight. Oh my god, take me out of this hell was what I was thinking. I was driving around the block, not being able to find a spot, desperately needing to get the fuck out of my car and desperately needing some space.

T - 00:40 - I parked the car really far away from Julian's house, we had to walk ten minutes to get there. I just wanted to stop the car because I was starting to feel that maybe I took to much. I got out of the car and all my anxiety wore off. Such a relief. We opened the luggage door and we had there one bottle of whiskey, one bottle of Amarguinha (which is a portuguese liquor extract from almonds) and a case of 24 beers. As I'm taking the alcohol out a family passes by and the man from the family says: 'What do you have for us?' I was so high right now and my face was uncontrollable. I said: 'Well, we have everything you need' and the guy starts laughing with his family. I didn't understand why they were laughing but Paul then told me I had made a complete fool of myself, because my face was screaming DRUGS.

T - 00:50 - I was not aware of any visuals, not because I wasn't having them, but because everything I looked at a far distance wasn't there. I didn't even realize it, It looked normal to me but it wasn't. Buildings no longer existed in that area, but it was like they never existed in the first place. We finally got to the house, Jesus what an adventure, and this was just the beginning. We walked inside the house and there's maybe 12 people there. I immediately thought, 'oh no, me and Paul will be the acid heads of the party' so I proceed to introduce my other one and a half tab to see who wanted to take them. Julian came and asked for half tab, he said it was his birthday and he didn't want to get too much wild because some of his friends were against it. (LSD in my town has a very very bad reputation, even among young people). I said no way, it's your birthday you have to take the full tab. After a little talk he ended up taking the full tab and then proceed to give the remaining half tab to his friend Souza. This all happened at the door, so when I walk into the living room, shit got twisted. I went to talk to everyone and suddenly I couldn't talk. I was talking in my head but I could not get it out. I waved at them and went to the kitchen where my friend Paul was. When I got to the kitchen my friend is turning the kitchen lights on and off, saying it is amazing how light feels warm on LSD. I started laughing like a motherfucker and so does he. That whole kitchen was like, a spaceship. Oh my god it's very hard to describe it.

All the edges of the room transmitted a blue-ish purple energy matter. It was insane. The room was vibrating, floating in space, no words can make justice to it. The cabinets were breathing through the energy waves launched by the walls and the lights had now turned from light yellow to heavy red.

T - 01:00 - Julian brings his friend Josh to the kitchen saying that he wanted to talk to me. The guy fucking asked what was like to be on LSD since he wanted to try it but was a bit afraid. I just said to him: 'Look at my face, I can't even talk man, your face is talking to me through blue energy waves' and he proceeds to ask: 'Is that normal? What's a bad trip?' I just said 'Dude, not right now, I'll explain you later but now, talking is extremely difficult'. He went away looking really scared of what he just saw. Panic.

T - 01:10 - Now this was it, I have never ever been where I am right now. This was new, I had never tripped so hard on visuals, LSD was never visual to me but this, this was massive. Now everywhere that I looked was sending blue waves of energy, peoples faces were all covered in blue and purple and the only was I could recognize who I was talking to was by remembering the size and shape of their faces. I went outside and tried to roll a joint, I was so high that I asked the guy besides me to roll and he says: 'Don't you think this is to much weed? And you didn't add tobacco to it.' as I answered with this evil smiling face 'make it pure then' and me and Paul started to laugh like hell. The guy looks at us and asked if we were OK, we just proceeded to laugh and we told him to shut up in kind of a rude away. Not cool.

T - 01:30 - Everyone who had take acid was now fully tripping but I noticed something, they were all connected, but I wasn't. I could not identify with what they were seeing or feeling because of how fucked up I already was and so I couldn't keep their pace. I was sitting on the couch, but in reality I was really, really far away. They decide to go on a walk and I sober up a little with this idea. I told them it's better not to go, since Julian's friends will be left alone in his house, on his own birthday party, and that would be disrespectful. I should have known better, but they were so selfish with their trips that I told them, ok, If you want to go, you can go, I'll stay here. I just said this to see if they would stay at the house but once again, they were completely selfish and went. (His friends ended up mad with him, of course).

T - 01:45 - Some minutes had passed and my trip now was on another scale. I knew the people that stayed at the house, but they were all sober, playing shitty guitar songs and worst of it all, judging me for taking the acid to the party, as their best friend just ran away from his own house and left his friends there. So my decision was clear, I knew where they were, so I decided to go and meet them.

T - 02:00 - I went outside and there are two roads, one goes left, the other goes right. I was sure that they had gone to the left side, but at that time, my body said to me 'you are going by yourself, nowhere but somewhere' and I took the right road. I know for sure that at this point, I had no control over my body, my thoughts were the ones in command, if the thought appeared, I would do it. I passed a little restaurant with people eating outside, and I was afraid to make eye contact with anyone but when I pass through the restaurant I looked and I couldn't see faces, it was all a big mess so the fear just took off and I kept going, with my head lifted and a big smile on my face. As I am walking I have this big assurance that I'm all evil, that every root of my soul is evil, but very bad evil. And I'm smiling with this thought, it felt really good, to know that I'm pure evil, a dark soul. I felt power, confidence, I felt on the top of the world and as I'm walking I had this huge epiphany about what I need to do to get my life straight and to set my mind free.

I was a genius, I had all the answers, I was so far away and then a strong penetrating thought came to me. Some voice was telling me in my head that I'd pass to the next level. And as this happens I really start feeling like I'm being taken out of my body and I felt my soul just launching to the heavens. That was it the moment of pure pureness, that was my ego dissolving and I was letting it dissolve. But not all great things last forever, as I'm in this state of consciousness, in the middle of the road, with my eyes closed and crying of happiness for all the answers that I found, I start to hear my name.

T - 02:20 - 'Gonzo... Gonzo... We found you!!!' and as I'm listening to this, my mind is turning black, my thoughts are all going away and when I open my eyes there's the group hugging me and smiling saying that they found me after all this time. They looked at me and asked what happened since I was not looking so much happy for seeing them. And I wasn't. They took away my epiphany, my thoughts, I was so sad. (They explained me that when they were outside, they felt my presence on the street, like If I was with them, so they return to the house to see if I was there and I wasn't, so they all got pretty scared and went searching).

T - 02:30 - So we proceed to go home and now something was different. My trip was not beautiful anymore, I started to think a lot to myself: 'boy, this shit is hitting you strongly dude' and the visuals now were just unbearable. Everything was morphing into everything, the wind passing through my ears was so uncomfortable and I couldn't understand voices. My friend Paul is behind me and he starts making snake sounds and walking through my left and right side, that was so creepy. I tell him: 'Dude, you're snake' and everyone goes nuts. They felt the energy of my words, but they didn't understand them, they thought I was calling my friend a cobra, a snake, someone you can't trust. The vibe went down, but really down.

T - 02:45 - We are coming close to the house but we passed a dark alley where we needed to climb down some stairs. At the end of the stair set, I blinked and all of the sudden, I thought that I had passed out and walked on my feet again so I turn into Paul who was looking at me and I asked: 'What the fuck happened' His face goes terror, he tells me that I'm all fucked up and that we need to get home as fast as we can'. Note that this guy is a person who I trust a lot so I started thinking that maybe, that really happened. Now terror was inside me, for I did not know what was real or not. The trip went really bad from this point on. I didn't fell physically, but Paul saw me falling to another place. (His mother is a witch, so he is extremely sensitive to this kind of stuff, I later thought that maybe he saw my soul coming down from that next level state) I was sure he saw my evilness through my soul. The vibe now was so bad, that everyone on acid was observing and feeling it too. I asked Paul what happened in there and he kept telling me 'you have to go home, you're all fucked up, let's go home, letīs go home'. This was the point, where I thought I had lost my mind. I felt helpless, I felt like I was going into my very first bad trip, and it was going to be bad.

T - 03:00 - I'm on this state of mind, and right now I don't know who I can trust. All the people inside the party are people that I just barely know. I wanted to ask for help, but who? Was I going to be that weird guy who's having a massive bad trip at the party and ruining everyone's environment. No. This thought was horrible so I did what I know best, I separated from the group that went inside the house and I stayed outside, almost crying, feeling absolutely lonely. I wanted to call a friend, so she could help and talk me out of my thoughts, but I was so worried of sounding like a lunatic that I didn't want to call anyone. I felt like a freak, my head was looping on the idea of not being able to control myself. And that was the message that the LSD was giving to me, but I wasn't realizing.

I don't remember very well the next hour since I was experiencing hell all alone but I remember feeling like I could not get to the house nor any other place. I could only be with me, my own demon. At one point Paul came to me (I was sitting maybe 50 meters away from the house).

T - 04:00 - Paul is acting super weird and I can see on his face that he's not handling the acid very well. He starts saying we should go home, although the agreement was to stay until the next morning. I told him I was no good to drive but he started to insist that we should go. Now I don't know if this was my head putting words on his mouth or not, but I started feeling that he did not want me to go to the house for some reason. After a lot of discussion I decided I could try to drive us home but first I had to do one more thing. To face my bad trip. All that time I was avoiding to go inside the house, because at this point, I thought that everyone knew that I was having a really serious psycho killer bad trip so I didn't want to go inside. It would be terrifying, but I had to do it to pick up my stuff. Then something strange happened. Paul was now really struggling to keep me off the house, and I was telling him 'wait here outside, I'll pick up my stuff' but he kept saying 'No, fuck your stuff, I also have my stuff there but I'll leave it' I had the keys of my car in my pocket but no wallet, no tobacco, no weed, nothing. So I took a deep breath and went towards the door, and again Paul says 'fuck that, let's go, we have to go' and with a big scream that I don't know where it came from I told him 'Stay the fuck in there, quiet'

I was really mad because I was starting to realise that this bad trip was all caused by Paul and maybe, everything was normal in the house. But I still had the strong sense that everything would collapse when I open the door and see I don't know how many people starring at me afraid of saying anything to the weird freaky psycho guy in the room. I knock on the door and Julian opens it, and with a big smile on his face he says ' What's up man where have you been? Everyone is tripping balls and enjoying it, thank you so much for this man, really, we are all loving the experience...' and here my head stops, I think to myself, what? I looked in his eyes and there was no sign of judgement from him. I told him me and Paul were leaving and I just came to pick my stuff.

As I walk in the living room, everything in normal, everyone is normal, no one starring at me, everyone is on their own worlds. I go to the bedroom where Julian and Souza are and they are happy and enjoying the moment and hugging me. That moment my head got clean, I could see everything now. I went outside and screamed to Paul 'If you want to go home, you can walk' and Paul did nothing more, he just went.

T - 05:00 - I realise no one even knew I was bad tripping, only Paul, who did nothing but make my trip even worse. The peak was finally gone after Paul left. Me, Julian, Souza and Josh spend the rest of the night in the balcony, smoking joints and talking about life.

This trip was for sure a great teacher, it showed me that I am courageous to face my own fears and that only I can save myself from my own head. It was the biggest LSD trip I've ever had and I've done a lot of LSD this past four years. I could only pay attention to the visuals on the beginning of the trip. As for the peak, I could not pay attention because I was emerged in a hallucination. Nothing was real, that hour that I can't remember almost anything was the most profound moments of my life, I really went to hell on that hour, that's for sure.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 112411
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Aug 6, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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