Citation: S. Starr. "Nothing Really Happened: An Experience with MDMA (exp112434)". Erowid.org. Oct 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112434
I'll give you a bit of background info before talking about my experience in case any of it helps explain the result. I'm 21, female, 5'8'. I haven't weighed myself in a long time, but I'd guess ~160 lbs. I've been smoking weed semi-frequently for a few years now and I've tripped on LSD plenty of times; I had a bad experience once or twice, but I'm really well adjusted to it now and have become excellent at maintaining a good mental state during the trip. I've dealt with anxiety and depression in waves my whole life. I used to take cymbalta from 2015-mid 2017, then wasn't on anything until spring this year when I started taking wellbutrin. However, at the time that I took MDMA I hadn't been on my meds for about a month (took a while to get a refill, what can you do).
So - this experience was in early August. I got my MDMA from an extremely trusted, close friend. He researches the biochemistry of all of the drugs he uses and sells; he's also currently a chemistry student so he can at least make better sense of the research than someone with no background. He tests everything for purity before he sells it as well, and plenty of people had already rolled from the same batch as mine and had very typical experiences.
I took 120mg at around 1pm. A friend of mine took his dose only 20 minutes before. We were just at home, hanging out with our close friends in a relaxed environment. About an hour in I was able to see it affecting him. Slowly getting more giddy, being totally fascinated with touch, etc. So I waited for my turn since I was only 20 minutes behind, after all. I got plenty of body load. Like the same kind of tenseness that I've felt on LSD so many times. I thought this was a good sign and I kept waiting, but nothing really happened beyond that. No change in mood, no tactile fun. I checked and my pupils were extremely dilated - I felt reassured that, yes, I was in fact on drugs. My friend was having a great time and wandered off after a while with a third friend who was on LSD. And I kind of just laid there, listening to music for several hours. Not because the music was having some different effect on me, but because I was extremely relaxed to the point of not really being able/motivated to do anything else. Actually, I felt really sleepy. I tried to nap because I had given up at that point on having a typical rolling experience, but I couldn't sleep at all because I was still on a psychedelic. So for at least half of the time, I laid on the couch with my eyes closed, listening to music, and physically tense from the body load.
for at least half of the time, I laid on the couch with my eyes closed, listening to music, and physically tense from the body load.
I had other sober friends around; I didn't feel like talking to them at all. I ate dinner at one point and later took a melatonin when I wanted to go to bed.
My friend/dealer thinks that I might just be one of those people who needs a higher dose, but I'm a huge lightweight for literally everything I've ever used. 3 drinks and I'm drunk, 3 bong rips and I'm toasted, and I would never be able to handle more than 150-175 micrograms of LSD. I wonder if the cymbalta (an SNRI) has temporarily or permanently changed the way my serotonin receptors work. I've heard it can take months to years, if at all, for that to function to become normal again. Maybe I'll try again someday with a slightly higher dose, but I'll be satisfied with LSD in the meantime.
Tl;dr - Basically the title. Nothing good or bad happened, I was just physically tense and a little disappointed.
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