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The Grinch Who Took Mescaline
by Samanthe
Citation:   Samanthe. "The Grinch Who Took Mescaline: An Experience with Mescaline (exp11253)". Dec 13, 2001.

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T+ 0:00
100 mg oral Mescaline (capsule)
  T+ 0:45 100 mg oral Mescaline (capsule)
  T+ 1:30 100 mg oral Mescaline (capsule)


This experience was part of a series of guided group psychedelic sessions that I did in 1999. See my other 1999 experiences if you want to read about the bigger picture.

It was the third and last group session of a course of tripping that spanned nine months. The material was mescaline again, 300 mg, taken in three doses spaced 45 min. apart, starting at about 1 PM.
After the first dose, almost immediately, I got a panicky feeling in my heart, and felt whimpering and scared, like a little kid. I had been somewhat hesitant of having this mescaline session, because I wasn't feeling completely strong, and it was a lot of energy to handle the first time I did it (280 mg that time). I was not in tiptop shape because I'd basically broken off a relationship of almost three years with someone I thought I was in love with. So I was heartsick. Plus I'd decided to move to the opposite side of the country, and this new decision was still fresh in my mind. What business did I have going in there and churning all that up again? I thought.

The main sitter caught my eye from across the room and stepped her way gracefully over to me. She sat next to me and whispered kindly, 'what's going on with you?' I replied, 'My heart feels funny.' What I meant was 'it's beating fast and hard,' but she replied, 'Like maybe it's too big for your chest?' The poetry that I discerned in this answer helped to smooth me out and get beyond my temporary obsession with my heart, which stemmed from a period of anxiety disorder and panic attacks when I was 19 (see the 'terror blossom' report). I saw myself as the Grinch, whose heart grew too big and popped out of his chest, but in a good way.

This is what I wrote in my journal:

During that weekend, our sitter had us contemplate the following:

'Think about of being able to translate the information received from the experience of the psychedelic sacraments into our relationship with clients, our work, our careers, and in collective and global issues. What have you learned and what are you doing with the knowledge? Think about what you are willing to release and leave in this century, never to speak of it again, and what qualities you are bringing along with you for the benefit of humanity.'

And that was how I ended 1999, and how I entered 2000; with lots of psychedelic session material to chew on for a while. Now it's two years later, and the closest I've gotten to that intensity of tripping was insufflating ~15 mg of 2-CB hydrobromide on top of about 10 mg oral 2-CB. So I'm still taking a break. I moved cross-country, changed jobs, and experienced a number of non-drug-induced changes since then. I'd consider that sort of tripping again but I'm being picky. I might resume tripping with insufflated 5-MeO, or ayahuasca. But essentially my trips have shown me two simple things that have stuck about what I'm to do in the world: breathe, and strengthen my body. If I don't follow that imperative, learn better breathing and body consciousness, what business do I have tripping? I have to do the work to keep moving forward. So I finally kept a promise to myself, by starting yoga. I also decided to abstain from drinking any alcohol for six months, just to see what that's like, and to explore Cannabis, which I discovered I've been chronically overdosing myself on for years (for an illustration, read any of my old Cannabis trip reports).

Exp Year: 1999ExpID: 11253
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 13, 2001Views: 104,768
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Mescaline (36) : Guides / Sitters (39), General (1), First Times (2), Large Group (10+) (19)

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