Citation: Fused Couchman. "Fused With My Couch and Ripped Apart: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10 extract) (exp112812)". Erowid.org. Jul 26, 2019. erowid.org/exp/112812
When I first tried to experience salvia I was with my girlfriend and a good friend. This happened a few months before the experience of this report. Back then I hadnít bought a bong. Iíd bought the salvia extract along with a cheap pipe and we used a normal lighter to smoke it. I did do some reading up and so we darkened my room and put on some calm music on low volume.
I went first: took a good hit and held it in. The effects were quite minimal, I did space out and had some kind of threshold effect. I had a weird feeling of being stroked on my leg by some energy but it turns out my girlfriend had been doing this. It did fit the experience really well. Overall not much happened though. My gf didnít notice many effects and my friend said he felt like he was driving in a car.
Iím a tall guy, about 95 kg at the time so pretty fit. At the time I was a heavy cannabis user, used some alcohol and had had a few psilocybin truffle trips and mdma experiences. No prescription meds.
The prologue was included because itís essential to my actual trip. I was feeling adventurous one afternoon so I went to a smart shop in town. I asked the guy working there if he had anything that could give me a pretty short trip. He told me about salvia, which I obviously knew about. Cause yeah, it totally didnít work last time! I asked if there was anything else but ended up settling for a gram of 10x salvia extract. By this time I had bought a bong. So I got home, put on my pre-built playlist which (I thought) contained just some Pink Floyd tracks. I sat down on my insanely comfortable couch and loaded the bong with a very generous amount of the extract. I didnít weigh or anything, I put about a fifth of the bag in my bowl. (remember, I was under the impression it wouldnít do anything, at most a sort of nitrous trip).
When I took the first hit, I felt my body vibrate along with the entirety of reality. My lungs felt like they were going to explode with I donít know what. Perhaps the entire trip would be breathed out into existence. I exhaled after about 30 counted seconds and lit another hit as prescribed. While counting the seconds on this hit I sensed that I needed to get the bong on my coffee table quick. I managed to do it and lay down on the couch. Oh man, that taste. It tastes like it feels, really. Completely alien, a bit scary but pleasurable at the same time.
It tastes like it feels, really. Completely alien, a bit scary but pleasurable at the same time.
I lay down on my couch, looking through my very high window at the underside of a balcony. I lived in a very old European house with ornaments and stuff, there was also an ornament on the underside of that balcony. In front of the house is a street which kept me connected to reality. I felt like I had done something very wrong and I were to be laying there for days or weeks. The street that kept me connected to reality also gave me the feeling that the entire world would continue while my body lay there. My girlfriend, schoolmates and colleagues were worried sick!
As I looked to the ornament I felt myself being sucked into my current vision. At the same time, everything rotated counter-clockwise while remaining still. This rotating and staying still created a very forceful feeling of everything being ripped apart. (memory gap) The next thing I knew was that I was slowly floating downwards in a vertical, square tunnel. The walls of the tunnel were made of big blocks of a peculiar orange hue. I had no body, just a singular point of conscience.
I remember very vividly a presence. A presence perhaps residing in the walls of the tunnel I was floating down. It was talking to me or about me. Not in words but in thought. She was telling me: ĎYou have no idea whatsoever about what you did, do you? Well youíve really done it now. The world is gone and itís your fault.í I felt like those words/thoughts were absolutely true. In fact, nothing has ever been more true. I had always been floating here, and will always return to floating here. In this abstract, scary, endless world. My whole life up until the disastrous event I had just accidentally unleashed had been a dream. A lie. ĎWelcome back, brotherí.
The next scene was entirely different. I could see my body floating in an empty world with a color-shifting background. I had sort of been placed back into my physical body, only my body had been fused with my couch and I was looking at it from some distance. This couch/me-object (letís call it my body) was of a solid blue color and of one single material. I canít even begin to describe the monumental fear and panic I felt. From this scene on, I had some awareness that I was a person and that I was trapped. Information like my name, or what my life had been or that Iíd smoked salvia were far away. And so I felt very alone in this weird, trapped state of being. My entire body felt like pins and needles and like it was continually being smeared into the background. At the same time it felt like I was being put through some kind of machine, and then it dawned on me. My whole body (thatís including the couch) was being forced through a very small space. A steam roller of sorts. It was big and important and there was no way to escape. I have never felt such despair and fear. There was nothing I could do. And to make things worse: there was music playing. Music I hadnít expected. It was so haunting.
And dooonít criticiiiize iiiitÖ
Legaliiiize it, yeahÖ.
ĎOh manÖ What is this music? Legalize what? Oh god, legalize this?? This state of existence?? Please no. Please donít.í
Yeah, turns out Iíd accidentally added Legalize It by Peter Tosh to the playlist.
Yeah, turns out Iíd accidentally added Legalize It by Peter Tosh to the playlist.
I hadnít checked this beforehand. So I thought I hallucinated the entire song myself and that it was most definitely about this experience, whatever it was. As I didnít know Iíd added this song to the list, it didnít help to calm me down. Of course I knew the song but accidentally hearing it in this situation was just too much, as I couldnít for the life of me conceive that there was anything like a playlist of music that I, a human person had created. Let alone that Iíd accidentally placed a wrong song in it that happened to be playing at this moment.
I have no memory of finally actually being put through the machine but the next set of sensations was that my body was being stripped apart, layer by layer, like Velcro. If I were to be standing, it would be horizontal slabs of me being ripped apart one by one from the top of my head to my toes. These layers of me each had their own consciousness. And being ripped from my body meant they were getting a break. As if being me was their job. They spent their break in a break room of sorts, which was a completely empty white plane of existence. They were chilling to some reggae. Man was I confused.
During this scene I slowly but surely regained Ďnormalí consciousness. As my room came back into my vision, I tried to move my arm. It hurt pretty bad, like I was ripping Velcro from my skin. I was still pretty panicked and didnít feel very pleasant. After a few minutes though I was very relaxed and in a reflective state of mind.
As of the time of writing this experience was about 4 years ago and it still haunts me to this day. I havenít been ready to visit again. I have tried another bong rip not very long after this experience but the feeling of it coming up sent me into such a panic that I managed to cut the trip short by sheer willpower.
Iím now getting ready for another experience and I might try quidding for a slightly easier experience.
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