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I Never Intended for This to Be So Intense
by anon
Citation:   anon. "I Never Intended for This to Be So Intense: An Experience with AL-LAD (exp112834)". Feb 7, 2019.

T+ 0:00
  oral Ginger (tea)
  T+ 0:30 150 ug sublingual AL-LAD (blotter / tab)


Far Too Intense First Trip

Mind-frame/Set: Curious, Excited, Nervous

Environment/Setting: Home alone inside own Bedroom, Day, Alone, Played calming/trippy music most of the time

Preparation: Months of research into Psychedelics out of personal interest, cleaned up and set up activities to do while tripping

Goal: to experience something new and see if it’s a suited party drug

Experience: None, besides smoking Cannabis once and having edibles twice

This was my first experience with any psychedelic drug in my life. I’ve had a fascination with LSD for the better part of a year and was eager to have an experience on it of my own. Unfortunately, none of my friends at the time had any interest in trying psychedelics, let alone any drugs besides alcohol, so I took matters into my own hands, accepting that this would have to be a journey I would endure by myself. After doing research for several months I found out about AL-LAD, a supposed more forgiving, less headspacier, and most importantly, “legal” version of LSD. After acquiring it, it had lain around for a few months, until I decided to take it, with my best friend watching over me. That attempt failed, since she was quite frankly more nervous than I was, and I realized I’d have to do it sometime later by myself.

Cut to Friday, a few months later, and I decide to stay at home, while both my parents are gone, so I have the house to myself. I forgot that our cleaning lady was supposed to be there that day, so I told her I was sick and remained in my room.

T-0:30 - I make myself a ginger tea to soothe nausea and make the final preparations and get comfy on my bed.

T+0:00 - Dosed one 150 µg Tab of AL-LAD by placing it under my tongue, keeping it there until it had become somewhat dissolved and washed down the rest with my ginger Tea. Meanwhile, I rewatch the first episode of “The Good Place” on Netflix. My heart is racing the whole time, and I try to focus on staying calm and enjoying the show.

T+0:15 - My nervousness is still prevalent, so I decide to do a 5 min mediation session with the app “Headspace”, during the session I feel odd tingling sensations on isolated parts of my Body, like my toes. I manage to slow down my heart rate and am very calm after the session.

T+0:30 - I start noticing things while watching “The Good Place” like certain sounds sounding slightly off and small details like a flower blooming in the foreground.

T+0:50 - The tingling sensations are more prevalent and body load is very noticeable at this point. I feel uneasy and restless, so I get up and walk around a bit and then sit down again.

T+1:00 - The visuals begin. I notice as I’m texting an online friend and the letters on my keyboard start breathing/moving around and have a rainbow hue in their wake, soon the visuals start getting more intense, color look brighter and more saturated, the faces of the actors in “The Good Place” start looking off (their eyes getting bigger) and mild tracers begin. in the next few minutes, I’m just watching the world around me change and look different. I am distracted by everything and constantly slip in and out of this state of awe where I’m just staring at everything like the pattern on my wallpaper morphing or just staring at myself in the mirror, looking at my face morph look almost unrecognizable. As I take notes, the words seem to melt off the page and gradually come back again.

T+1:20 - I have the odd feeling that someone is behind me, and turn around to see that there’s no one there. The tracers become stronger.

T+1:30 - The visuals get very intense. On my trip to the bathroom, the whole room changes to a green hue and I start seeing purple shimmering fractals overlay the surface of everything in the bathroom. Looking into the mirror is almost like looking into another world. The fractal patterns look like a mandala originating from the center of my forehead. I begin to think that that is a reference to the “third eye”, and wonder if the idea of the third eye, located in the center of your forehead, originated from others having similar imagery on acid trips in the past. Upon closing my eyes for a few seconds back in my bedroom, I discover that I also have mild CEV’s, but am too distracted by the visuals getting more intense with every second passing by to explore the fractal patterns when I close my eyes.

T+1:40 - I begin to peak, the visuals reach their high point and time distortion kicks in. There are colorful fractal patterns overlaying almost everything, and I recognize fractal patterns everywhere, everything’s morphing and changing hue. Everything looks kinda off and oddly symmetrical. Looking into the mirror, I find myself to look like common imagery of Hindu deities, as I look like I have multiple arms when waving them around due to the tracers. The visuals are breathtaking, and I don’t do anything but look at everything in a state if wonder.

T+2:00 - I begin having a depersonalization/derealization episode. My short-term Memory is severely compromised and I find myself in thought loops and constantly forgetting/remembering things.
My short-term Memory is severely compromised and I find myself in thought loops and constantly forgetting/remembering things.
I keep trying to “figure out” something and constantly remind myself that my mind is working so differently because I’m on AL-LAD.

I don’t have much memory of these few hours, I just remember being confused and uneasy, and having no memory of how being “sober” was like, or what day it was and what I did the day before. The singing in the music sounded like gibberish to me and I had a hard time formulating my thoughts into words, as all words sounded like sims-talk. I began to feel very worried, but not frightened or scared, as I knew that this would be over eventually. It felt like a lifetime though. The few notes I took during this time were:

“this is real? I know it isn’t! Where do I keep getting lost?” (T+2:01)
“I don’t know what time it is” (T+2:17)
“sober? is [unintelligible] I think I’m forgetting something, I’m always remembering” (T+2:31)
“this is a lot!” (T+2:37)
“I don’t know if I like this” (T+2:52)

After that, I stopped taking notes. I’m not quite sure what I did for the next hour, but I know it was rather unpleasant and I assume I was stuck in my thoughts.

T+4:00 - The intensity of the visuals went down by a lot. I started feeling like myself again and the weird headspace was mostly gone. My CEV’s are gone at this point too. The next half hour I’m just listening to music and contemplating what happened before, asking myself if it was a bad trip and how I can prevent something like that for the next time.

T+4:30 - I call my best friend and try to talk to her, but can’t the words leaving my mouth sound like nothing and I keep forgetting what I was saying and bursting into laughter. My friend didn’t know that I had taken AL-LAD and was worried. The phone call pulled me back to reality and I felt a bit lonely and embarrassed, as I am always “the one on drugs” out of my friends. I felt like I couldn’t relate to anyone and was brooding and being sad for a while.

T+5:00 - At this point, the visuals are still very beautiful and nice to watch, but I’m awfully aware of reality and feel almost completely sober. I try to pass the time doing mundane things like cleaning my room and browsing the internet and listen to music. Oddly enough I don’t feel like doing any of the activities I prepared beforehand.

T+6:00 - I feel bored and just wanna do something social. I resort to texting my friend and apologizing for the phone call and play video games. (only visuals left is words and letters breathing, slight pattern recognition enhancement and mild glimmering fractal patterns from time to time)

T+10:00 - the trip is far beyond over at this point. All visuals are gone, except that the letters still move and wiggle and change hue when I try to use my phone. I’m very nervous and scared that it won’t go away, this makes me regret the trip since I’ve been having this lingering breathing-effect for way longer than I should’ve and I just want my normal vision back.

T+12:00 - The letters still haven’t stopped moving. They aren’t changing hue anymore, but are still moving a lot, making reading on screens and printed text very difficult. This breathing-effect remained there until I fell asleep, but thankfully it went away completely when I woke up at 1 am. I was scared to go back to sleep since my dreams were very intense and I could still slightly see fractal patterns when I closed my eyes, so I stayed up as long as I could to avoid it. The next morning all lingering effects completely vanished, and I was very relieved and started to come to terms with my intense trip.

I never intended for the trip to be this intense, I wasn’t even expecting the amount visuals I had gotten and the intense headspace even less. My intentions were to have a mild introduction to Psychedelics, but I got far more than that. I read many reports where people took 300 µg for their first time, or took 200 µg and barely got visuals, so I thought I was doing a low dose. Unbeknownst to me, I apparently have a very low tolerance for this Tryptamine to say the least and will proceed with far more caution when using this or any other compound again.

Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 112834
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: 16 
Published: Feb 7, 2019Views: 4,675
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AL-LAD (603) : General (1), First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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