DOSE: T+ 0:00	420 mg	oral	DXM	(pill / tablet)
T+ 1:00	660 mg	oral	DXM	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

210 lb

Time: September 30th, 2018 1 p.m.
Set: Extremely depressed and unmotivated
Setting: Alone in my bedroom

I took 7 Mucinex DM Extended Release tablets at around 1 p.m. which in total contained about 400 mg of DXM. As a recurring theme during my trips, I waited for the effects to kick in by playing Overwatch. As I was intensely waiting for effects I thought I noticed seeing brighter colors after 30 minutes, but since I felt nothing else, this was likely nothing more than placebo. After waiting a whole hour without feeling anything significant I decided to take 11 more tablets. At this point I would’ve taken a grand total of almost 1000 mg of DXM, including the unknown larger quantity of non-psychoactive Guaifenesin that was also in these tablets.

I had gotten off of Overwatch for good at this point, and I killed about 30 more minutes of time by watching videos and singing, the only light effect that I noticed before the DXM hit me like a truck was feeling kind of slow and off balance while quietly singing “Before I Close My Eyes” by XXXTentacion. Since at 2:30 p.m. I was still feeling halfway normal and not completely messed up I decided to lay on my bed with my phone and spend the entire come up watching “Steven Universe is Garbage and Here’s Why” by Lily Orchard. Time started to slow down and lose meaning in a way that I stopped thinking about it. I still managed to mostly understand the video but in a way that was slightly different from normal perception. Each moment of the video felt like it’s own experience, and despite being an avid Steven Universe fan I felt no judgement or anger towards anything said in the video, and I felt like each moment was important for me to listen to.

The intensity of the effects gradually increased while I watched this almost 2 hour long video. My body felt so heavy and glued to the bed that changing positions or moving in any way became incredibly difficult. I didn’t feel any significant euphoria, but I felt relaxed and calm. The anxiety that constantly plagued me while sober was completely gone. Moving in any way felt so alien to the point where every time I managed to slowly move my arms I could see tracers that made all of my movements look and feel like I was skipping or phasing through time. Eventually I became so disoriented to the point where I experienced several lapses in memory, and at one point I somehow managed to move myself to the smaller of two beds in my room. I attempted to charge my phone but my charger kept falling out of my open outlet for some reason. I found this hilarious and didn’t feel any anger relating to this happening whatsoever. After I was finally able to keep my dying phone charging, I watched “What will we miss” by VSauce. At this point in time I was so mentally gone that I didn’t completely understand the video, and I clicked off of it halfway through.

Once my phone was fully charged I waddled my way back to the bigger more comfortable bed in my bedroom. Walking felt slow, slightly off balance and completely robotic on this stuff. I had no concept of time whatsoever to the point where I didn’t even know what evening was and every single moment felt stretched in a way that was completely beyond human comprehension. The last even remotely comprehensible memory I had was of me watching a Kurzgesagt video about meat (I have no idea how I stumbled onto that one).

For awhile all I remember experiencing are brief flashes of certain events. I remember messaging somebody telling them I was “One with time” at around 5:00 p.m. but sadly I don’t actually remember what that even felt like. The only other flash of memory from what I believe was around that time had me experiencing maroon-colored visuals behind my closed eyelids that looked like some kind of moving highway. The next flash of memory involved me playfully crawling across my bedroom floor, with my entire room feeling brand new like I was in it for the very first time. Some point after that I remember feeling so overwhelmingly tired that I forced myself to bed and went to sleep.

I don’t remember having any dreams, but I do remember waking up constantly in the middle of the night (still feeling very messed up) to check the time on my phone. The constant waking up in the middle of the night felt almost torturous and even though I would only sleep for 30 minutes at a time, every time I woke back up it felt like I had slept for hours. I eventually woke up to something so alien and terrifying, that I remember it more vividly than anything else.

I woke up in a void, not feeling like me at all. In fact I didn’t even know who “me” even was. The slight visuals I experienced looked like tiny floater-looking stars looping in on each other. The visuals were constantly disappearing into an inward loop of brand new visuals that were forming onto them. While this was happening I felt a subtle feeling letting me know that everything was going to be fine. Despite this feeling I was still completely terrified. In the moment I experienced a massive flood of emotional pain so intense that it felt like it was coming from everything that had ever existed. A part of me in this moment realized that I was everything that had ever existed.

As I started speaking I heard my voice perfectly layered and demonically harmonized over an infinite amount of voices that all felt exactly the same despite their different pitches. I was hearing myself speak but I felt detached enough that it felt like I was only observing something happening that was, and will always be controlled by another force. I felt like I wasn’t controlling what I was saying at all, and I was forcefully exclaiming many paradoxical statements that felt like the truest things that had ever been said, however I don’t remember what I said word for word during this at all. The theme of my existential speech was truth and I felt this otherworldly frustration about constantly lying to myself, while a part of me knew that I had no choice and truth couldn’t exist without lies, so I had to lie in order to exist.

After realizing what I needed to do in order to keep existing, I screamed “I want to exiiiiist!” as loud as I possibly could. While I was screaming “exist” the visuals became progressively brighter and it felt like I was being shot through a cannon. While the experience was happening it felt like a hilariously cruel joke, like the ultimate punchline. I only existed to make fun of myself. Even though I could’ve sworn I was screaming in a void of nothing/ everything, I was actually screaming in my bedroom loud enough to wake my dad up, to the point where he opened my door and turned my bedroom light on to see what was going on. My eyes were closed and when I saw the light come on through my closed eyelids, hearing my dads voice, for a very short moment it felt like I was experiencing God himself.

I immediately realized who I was and looked at my phone. It was shortly after 1:00 a.m. and despite not needing to be at work until 3:00 a.m. I still freaked out knowing that I had to go to work and sprang out of bed. My dad was stuck there wondering what was going on and why I was screaming in the middle of the night. I started talking ridiculously fast and did a poor job of explaining to him why I freaked out. I incomprehensibly rambled many delusions of grandeur and bad existential theories while rushing to get ready for work explaining that “I don’t want to go to work but I have to” over and over again. Some of the existential ramblings that I said to my dad were psychotic as hell, and I remember saying “It’s all TV” and “Your life is about to get way more interesting”.

In the moment I felt like I was the smartest person alive and I knew everything, and I was convinced that I would stay like that forever. I thought I was a comedic genius and that everything I said was comedy gold. Throughout my constant rambling I still felt like I had no control over myself and I was just watching things happen. I kept rambling all throughout biking to work and thankfully nobody was around at that time of night to hear it. Also luckily, I was opening the store and I was at work by myself. Now at work, I kept loudly rambling to myself thinking I was on television and that I was speaking “The greatest TV monologue of all time”. Everything I said to myself felt like absolute comedic truth. After awhile I slowly settled down, and I kept feeling nauseous like I was going to throw up while stumbling off balance constantly. I somehow thankfully managed to keep myself from vomiting and felt completely sober by the time the first cashier came in at 4:30 a.m.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 112862
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Feb 27, 2025	Views: Not Supported
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
DXM (22) : Alone (16), Depression (15), Families (41), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)