DOSE:

50 mg

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(extract - 10x)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

NOTE: I'm writing this as soon as I came inside, obviously things like this can't be described exactly and like a dream the longer you wait the more things you forget. I'm also decently still under the effect.

Setting: Dark woods near my house, no lights around, can see pretty well with my eyes used to the darkness. Sitting on nice grass and leaves resting against a tree. Mid-winter but it's around 55 degrees for some reason. It's 3:45 A.M.

Here we go: took a hit of 10x, My 3rd experience with salvia to date. I always let it go earlier than I'd like, just because the impending doom feeling gets a little intense. like awaking into a dream, threw my pipe cause I felt other things near me, and smoking was a big no-no. The world around me became fake and made of plastic/toy shop rubber before feeling 2 entities (which strangely enough I've felt every time I use salvia, 1 male 1 female. No similarity to anyone I know) folding my world into shapes different and smaller, me being folded. I struggled and without words they explained to me that it was all necessary, zooming out showing that my mom specifically, my entire life, universe, and everyone in it was a small section piece of a giant wheel with other names and sections. I was being told to let go, as it zoomed back in and the world started to fold in on itself, zoomed back out and I was seeing some other being putting its hand on "our" name on the wheel which contained my universe, as if to use it for some petty task, like we were a fucking box of pencils or something. It zoomed back to me feeling the 2 entities pulling my universe, folding it telling me it was pointless to resist, and to just be used.

I felt like I was disappearing, the me I was here wasn't the me from this world, but the me in general, or the spirit me. (I was on the edge of ego-death I think, I couldn't remember who I was just that I was me and I was losing who me used to be.) As I came down a little I recognized their bullshit and I was no longer sinking as fast into the folds they were making, I also realized I was sitting up the whole time even though I just felt like I "was" (cant be described, I was just there, my body was irrelevant until I came down slightly.) I said and I quote (Which I'm quite proud of in retrospect) "fuck you" mad at them for lying to me that my whole universe was a petty thing then responded by standing up, pulling myself out of the folding universes, and taking 3 steps forward out of the tree line I was sitting in. The universes began folding again and I was losing balance, they said see? and everything around me began once again to fold, and I was being pulled back towards forgetting everything. I went back to where I first smoked and simply said "fuck you all" in defiance.

Then I layed down. Either I had seen through their trick, or I passed their test, they vanished and I drifted away into the feeling of being in another dimension, but in the same reality, MY reality. The wind blew through the trees and as it did I felt waves through my back like the sea as the wind intensified and slowed, like the wind was pushing the tree roots up and down in a smooth arc motion. This felt really good, and more real than real. I was glad to be back and that spirit me put those other beings in their place. I feel as if I had been challenged on whether I would waver or lose hope when myself and everything I ever knew was challenged and presented as insignificant.

This was also the first time I felt a release after the intensity, and was just at peace with the feelings. Felt like I could almost fall asleep, just listening to the sounds of the forest. Lay here for another 2 minutes then came inside to write down what has been my craziest experience yet, that I could remember vividly.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 112866
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Dec 7, 2019	Views: 609
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Alone (16)