Citation: Xorkoth. "Graceful and Kind: An Experience with 4-MeO-MiPT (exp112906)". Erowid.org. Feb 25, 2019. erowid.org/exp/112906
4-MeO-MiPT 25mg First Trial
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:15
I recently received a gift of samples of several tryptamines I did not previous have, from a friend who in turn was gifted some other rarities by me. One of them was 4-MeO-MiPT, an unusual substance I had been curious to try for some time. I've read many of the available reports (there are not many despite it being available for some time), and I wasn't sure what to expect. Some people found it to be a dud, while others enjoyed it. Everyone seemed to agree it was not particularly psychedelic, but more of an empathogen, if anything. On an early February Sunday, I decided there was only one way to find out, and I tasted it myself. What follows is my notes and thoughts on the experience.
- Ingested 25mg orally after weighing it out. It has a very weird taste, unlike any other tryptamine or other drug I've tried. Not very bitter, almost a bit savory combined with the faint taste of something burned? It's hard to describe. It doesn't taste much like other tryptamines I've tasted and was not particularly unpleasant, nor pleasant. The appearance was as an extremely fine, nondescript white powder, Not particularly fluffy but not too dense either.
- First alert, a smooth, warm feeling, and a hint of euphoria. My girlfriend and I are about to go to Ace Hardware to get a part to fix the shower. I spent the last hour taking it apart... it's the diverter valve from the faucet to the showerhead. I finally sawed away at the fiberglass shower wall behind the face plate enough to get a wrench in there and unscrew it. It's definitely broken, so here's hoping they have the right part.
- Just got back from the hardware store. They did have the part. My girl and I had a great time in there. Very quickly I started to feel it coming up, but there's no hint of anxiety or discomfort whatsoever, it's a very warm, smooth, lovely feeling.
Very quickly I started to feel it coming up, but there's no hint of anxiety or discomfort whatsoever, it's a very warm, smooth, lovely feeling.
By the time we made the 7 minute drive over there, I felt jovial and loose, and I found a smile fixed on my face. There is definite euphoria and a comfortable, easy feeling. We found the part rather quickly, or rather, my girl did. Her finding it first sparked some fun teasing back and forth between us and I found a lot of joy in that. We were really happy that we weren't going to have to go all the way to Home Depot so we were feeling pretty celebratory in the aisle. A lady who worked there came up to us and told us she'd never seen anyone so excited to be in the hardware store before. I don't remember what I said but it made her laugh. I felt so centered and comfortable, I found myself wanting to interact with the other people around
I felt so centered and comfortable, I found myself wanting to interact with the other people around
, whereas generally I would interact if addressed, and not be stressed about it or anything, but I would feel more apt to keep to myself and get in and get out.
- Fixed the shower. Fuck yeah! As soon as I turned the water back on and it worked perfectly, the lyrics and melody from Simon & Garfunkel's Cecilia
entered my head:
She loves me again
I fall on the floor and I'm laughing
It describes how I feel right now. This state is really very lovely. It reminds me of both 4-HO-MiPT and 5-MeO-MiPT (imagine that!), but it's much gentler than 5-MeO-MiPT and less psychedelic than either. It really is more of an empathogenic feeling than a psychedelic one, except there's that tryptamine feeling to it, a sort of fluttery-in-the-face and chest feeling that marks it surely as an indole. 5-MeO-MiPT can have some sharp edges and is stimulating, and 4-HO-MiPT is a full-blown psychedelic and can be disorienting, but this stuff is 100% easygoing and probably more euphoric than either.
- Smoked a hit of weed. This is quite recreational for me right now, in fact I find myself wanting to redose but I'm not going to. There is no amount of dopamine hit here, there's no rush, but I am feeling a good amount of euphoria and a feeling of everything being alright. I feel warm and loving. It reminds me of the post-peak plateau of 4-HO-MiPT a lot. The weed hasn't changed it at all but it has enhanced its presence in my body. This stuff has a great body feeling, light and velvety on the skin, extraordinarily calm and comfortable. But no psychedelia. It feels like a tryptamine in the body and mind, but there nothing visually, nothing mentally, it's all on the tactile and emotional level. I don't have a sense that this state is particularly insightful in any way but it is very pleasant indeed.
It feels like a tryptamine in the body and mind, but there nothing visually, nothing mentally, it's all on the tactile and emotional level. I don't have a sense that this state is particularly insightful in any way but it is very pleasant indeed.
- At this point I stopped taking notes beyond a few scribbles. I began cooking dinner, a nice chicken rice pilaf I've made a handful of times. As I began cooking, my mind started to really wander. I soon found myself thinking about my parents. My dad has ALS and it is very advanced, he probably doesn't have much longer left. It's unbelievably tragic for many reasons, but the one I thought about today was that my parents were best friends and so in love, but my mom is my dad's full-time caregiver and has been for 6 years now, and it's drastically changed their relationship. I began by thinking about the situation in general. The usual wash of painful grief was muted, distanced. Instead I felt a sense of wistful love and an unafraid mindset, touching on whatever aspects of it that I felt, without any desire to insulate myself. I moved on to thinking about being my mom through this process. I often feel some amount of anger towards her for some of the ways in which she has not handled this well and taken it out on my dad. I imagined the evolution of my mom's world as he slowly regressed into a fully paralyzed and helpless human plagued by constant anxiety and depression, where before he had been the strong one, the provider, the emotional rock. I imagined the great pain, inconceivable, unthinkable. I imagine conversing with my mom about her process, after my dad dies, which was insightful and interesting. I felt my heart reach out to this imagined version of her and attempt to let her know it understands. I thought briefly about how it would make me feel if my love were to succumb to such a thing and I felt a sharp spike of hurt in my chest, but the spike was tempered by a euphoric sense of love and so was entirely bearable.
Next, I began thinking about what it was like for my dad, the absolute horror of it, the sadness and hopelessness of becoming a vegetable. I have had all of these thoughts before, of course. This was nothing new. But it was remarkable how I was able to face them without being overwhelmed by pain, though. What was also noteworthy was that, despite being remarkable, it didn't have a big impact on me beyond the moment. My thoughts were quick and significant and full of emotional content, but it was almost as if I was just reviewing stuff I already knew. I was thinking through things and framing them in an idealized fashion almost, and then moving on, and not really resonating with it much beyond the moment. This review of personal information felt wonderful and warm and loving, and quite euphoric, but it wasn't anything that stuck with me in a particularly powerful way.
- I am lost in a long, winding train of thought, which I realize has a soundtrack associated with it. There are songs playing, so vividly that I can almost hear them audibly. It isn't music I've invented, as is typically the case. Instead it is songs I know by others, songs I love and that mean something to me, and that are generally applicable to my current thought process, or in some cases, that cause my current thought process to shift to memories that I associate with those songs. Typically when I'm having such robust and interesting trains of thought, and I'm actively trying to take notes for a trip, I feel compelled to communicate these ideas, sometimes to the detriment of the trip itself. Also, typically on empathogenic substances, I want to talk, talk, talk. However this internal experience feels very personal and communicating it feels like a chore. Hence I just take brief notes from time to time, which interrupts my thinking, and I let my girlfriend sit on the couch and read without desiring to talk to her about it, either.
Cooking is fun, I feel slightly scattered but I am also feeling a great sense of accomplishment as I perform all of the steps necessary to produce days worth of meals for myself. Sustenance is such an important thing, and the enjoyment of food is an amazing part of being human. I'm lucky in that not only do I enjoy eating, but I enjoy making food, as well. There's nothing I'd rather be doing right now.
- Still going strong. Suddenly the song "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton comes into my head, and it triggers a cascade of thoughts of my ex. Our final divorce court date, where the court decides how much of my stuff I have to give her and whether I am going to be forced to sell my house, is in less than a week. It has been causing me all manner of anger and pain and confusion, and kicking up a lot of trauma. She was very emotionally abusive to me over the course of over a decade, and as the divorce process is coming to a head, I've been realizing how traumatized I really am by it, in the way I react to various situations in my relationship and even in my friendships. In some ways it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with; I had created peace with her and myself after we split, when our relationship seemed to be amicable, and I did not feel damaged by her. The way she played me for 5 years after we split, to get me to serve her with papers and try to implode my life, while pretending to not want anything from me, and seemingly re-frame our relationship in her eyes to her
victim, has filled me with with a poisonous hatred for her that I have never encountered before towards anyone. It's been really hard for me to deal with, and very toxic to my life.
The thing is, "Wonderful Tonight" reminded me of the early days, when there was still the beginnings of abuse, yes, but the vast majority of the relationship was good. It was our song, and hearing it (in my mind) brought back a flood of good memories. I remembered the intense, head-over-heels feeling of love we had. I remembered a thousand great moments, tender moments, supportive moments, my mindset that I was so happy to have found my life partner. We were great friends, back then, and there was a lot of passion. I have come across these thoughts at various times since I started hating her more recently, of course, but every time I have, I have rebelled against them and they've given me this sick feeling, where I turn back on myself, almost like I'm betraying myself for remembering these aspects of our relationship, untainted by the horrific events that would follow many years later, and the double betrayal of how she has handled things since the split. 4-MeO-MiPT gave me what I can tentatively now, the next day, call a blessing, in that it allowed me to remember those moments, remember that she has a good side, that she didn't mean for this to happen. To remember that she is mentally ill and that there was a time where she made me really happy, mostly. She is a human, not a monster. She deserves my pity, not my hatred. Today, after the effects of the substance have left me, I still feel that my hatred has been mediated. I feel cautious about dwelling too much on it, but my internal dialogue about the whole situation feels improved. This is the only realization that has really stuck with me from this experience, but it is an important and powerful one.
- The food is finally done, and eating is so good, I am thoroughly enjoying it. The body high is a little bit less intense, but mentally, I am as active as ever, even perhaps moreso. In this way it reminds me of 5-MeO-MiPT, where the first stage is more empathogenic and the second stage is more psychedelic. I still wouldn't call this psychedelic, but it has become very mentally active and insightfully introspective. All I want to do is experience things and think. I don't feel antisocial, but I don't feel particularly social, either. This is a very internal experience. It feels special, but private.
I don't feel antisocial, but I don't feel particularly social, either. This is a very internal experience. It feels special, but private.
I have a continuous and robust internal narrative, but little desire to communicate it. However, my thoughts at some point turn to my girlfriend, who is sitting across the room on the couch, reading her book, it is a book in a fantastic series we are both reading, and I am one ahead of her, so it's the one I just finished. It's one of the many things that we share that I really like. I'm overcome with feelings of love and tenderness towards her, and I walk across the room and sit next to her and give her a hug and kiss and I tell her how much I like her. It's something we do, we tell each other we love each other when the mood strikes but it almost means more to say how much we like each other, since love and like are not always mutually exclusive and it's true, I just like
her a whole lot. She beams and it makes me feel wonderful, because I know it makes her feel wonderful.
For the rest of the night I just read my book, and become thoroughly engrossed. It is an absolutely gorgeous story spanning 6 volumes, and I'm on the last one. It's told in the first-person perspective and the characters are utterly real and noble and lovable to me. The story is about love in all its forms and the portrayal of the central love stories is profoundly beautiful, as well as the portrayal of parent/child love (both adopted and blood) and friendship is poignant and probably more well-done than I have ever read before in any other books. Also the portrayal of the love, desire, and closeness of the act of love is profound and beautiful. My girl and I both read the same story, in slightly different parts, for the rest of the night, and it was profoundly satisfying. We occasionally stopped and talked and snuggled. I would say around 8:45 (T+5:00), I felt pretty much normal, though I had an afterglow, which still persists the next morning, just a warm, content feeling of peace.
I fell asleep reading at 12:30, which was T+8:45, but I could have fallen asleep much earlier if I had tried, and in fact I was trying not to close my eyes and keep reading for about an hour before I fell asleep. In the morning I awoke with a great afterglow, a feeling of tranquility and peace. My girlfriend and I ended up exploring the erotic for almost 2 hours once she woke up (later than me), which was immensely satisfying. I think it's safe to say there was some residual pro-erotic effect going on.
So, all in all, I was very pleased with 4-MeO-MiPT. It has similarities to 4-HO-MiPT and 5-MeO-MiPT. It reminded me the most of the 5-MeO, in the headspace, but it was less psychedelic and more empathogenic, and not stimulating really at all, and also there was no come-up to speak of, just a quickly-felt euphoria that only grew and grew, without the slightest discomfort (whereas 5-MeO-MiPT has a very intense come-up that is mostly unpleasant, for me). It reminded me a lot of the jovial state of post-peak in 4-HO-MiPT, except much less "silly" and more grounded. Despite these similarities, it is distinctly unique and fits a different role, that of a care-free empathogenic substance that bears no negative side effects and doesn't drain you afterwards. There were similarities to MDMA but it was much more sober-minded and less intense by far, and less focused outward. It was nothing earth-shattering, but I am still glowing from it the next day, and it produced some useful, powerful insights about one topic, at least, even though primarily it was just recreational. It was a trip through the concept of love, and it left me feeling warm and sated.
It was a trip through the concept of love, and it left me feeling warm and sated.
I liked it enough that I decided to drop a chunk of change on a gram, because I would like to have it available to me for a long time and I only have a couple more doses at the moment, and it's nearly sold out in the places it's being offered, and given its apparent lack of popularity, I doubt it will be made again.
About 4-5 hours of effect, a rapid rise to a euphoric and empathogenic peak, which begins around 45 minutes in and reaches the best blend of empathy and introspection around 2 hours in, and then starts dropping off in intensity, but with an increasingly introspective state of mind. Warm, no sharp edges at all, pleasant, wholesome-feeling. An underrated gem, in my book, at least from this one trial. I fully intend on using it again in situations when I want to have a good introspection session but the subject matter is difficult, or when I just want to have a nice, relaxing and euphoric evening of recreation. I am extremely curious now as to what 4-MeO-DMT would be like!
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