DOSE: T+ 0:00	60 mg	oral	MDMA	(capsule)
T+ 0:00	1 cig.	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:56	40 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 6:00	1 cig.	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 7:22		oral	Vitamins / Supplements
T+ 0:00	50 mg	oral	Diphenhydramine

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

Background: I studied a lot of magazine articles, scientific papers and subjective experience reports about MDMA and decided the risks of taking it were rather low and the potential gains could be insightful experiences. I was particularly interested in the described feelings of connectedness and empathy, being an otherwise introverted person. The reports about developing a more positive view on difficult experiences in the past sounded also appealing, although I am quite happy with my life and I am exactly where I want to be at this point in time. But I admit the reports about euphoric feelings sounded great too! However, what I definitely not wanted was a drug evoking intense hallucinations or losing control over my mind. Luckily, I figured out MDMA wonˋt make me running naked through my neighborhood, haunted by an entity from a different dimension.

MDMA caught my interest a few years ago, but I never gave it a try until now. It was a sunny and unusually warm Saturday in February. I had a decent lunch a few minutes ago. A nice MDMA crystal was right in front of me. The crystal was advertised as roughly 80% pure and had only a very slight glimmer of champagne color. It appeared to be of high quality. I powdered a portion of the crystal equivalent to 60mg MDMA and put it into a vegan capsule. This dose was really low and less than 1mg per kg body weight, but I wanted it to be a safe experience. I was alone at home and there were no plans for the weekend except for the MDMA experience.

(2:23pm) I ingested the capsule and smoked a nice joint. I didn‘t expect harmful interactions between MDMA and cannabis.

(2:53pm) My stomach felt warm.

(3:19pm) Nothing really changed.

(3:39pm) Nothing changed. But the initial dose was low and I had a decent lunch earlier. So I ingested a further dose of the powder equivalent to 40mg MDMA without a capsule and with some juice. As expected, the powder tasted awful.

(4:23pm) Was I experiencing a slight euphoria?

(6:13pm) Everything before was just a placebo feeling and there was no real euphoria at all. Now something had clearly changed, but not for the good. I felt a slight nausea coming over me. My body felt cold and my hands were sweaty. For a few minutes I was regretting my decision to have tried MDMA. However, these bad feelings didn‘t last for long. A couple of minutes later, I felt an upcoming deep relaxation.

Then I had a really beautiful experience: I sat on the couch and rays of the sunset were shining through the window right onto the wall in front of me. The light was glowing intensely orange. It was a picturesque scenery and really enjoyable to watch. I started to feel even more relaxed, any sign of anxiety or tension was gone. Euphoria was getting stronger, not cloudy but rather stimulating. My analytic thinking seemed accelerated and my body felt like in a hot tub full of sparkling euphoria, which became continuously stronger over time. I enjoyed walking around in my apartment.

(8:17 pm) The tingling euphoria reached its peak. It felt like a mild summer breeze hovering over my brain and I had a sense of completeness. Now I understood what others meant when they wrote about feeling like a citizen of the universe. I am an atheist, but a religious person might have described this as a spiritual experience. There were only bliss and inner peace and I was very optimistic about the future. Bad decisions or experiences from the past appeared as opportunities for personal growth. I already viewed it like this before, but now I experienced this insight just so much more convincing. I thought about the relationship with my girlfriend and realized how lucky I was to have found her.

Later on, I went on my balcony to smoke a joint. No sign of the jaw-clenching I read about in other reports. I had no appetite but I thought it would be smart to eat something and drink some juice. Contrary to other reports, food tasted less intense than normal.

(9:45 pm) The big rush of euphoria was gone. My mood was still relaxed and no bad thought would come up in my mind. I also ingested vitamins and magnesium pills to counter the hangover I read about. Before I went to bed later the evening, I took 50mg diphenhydramine to get a restful sleep after this exciting day.

Next day and conclusion:
Sleep was good and I still felt a sense of calmness inside me. My hunger for breakfast was not as intense as on a normal Sunday morning but my appetite returned later that day. However, I did not experience any type of hangover. My day with MDMA was a revealing and deeply relaxing experience. Maybe it is good to have not explored this drug in my early twenties or at a party so I could enjoy the rewarding insights from a more respectful perspective. I look forward to repeat this experiment in a couple of months and I hope it wonˋt ever „lose its magic“ for me as some users report after several trials. I want MDMA to remain an exciting place I can visit once in a while.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 112953
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 31
Published: Mar 4, 2019	Views: 2,168
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MDMA (3) : General (1), First Times (2), Alone (16)