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Now I Am Become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds
Ketamine
by Simon Tanner
Citation:   Simon Tanner. "Now I Am Become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds: An Experience with Ketamine (exp112964)". Erowid.org. Apr 30, 2019. erowid.org/exp/112964

 
DOSE:
  insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 80 kg


The kitchen.
Luridly orange. Why so orange?
Someone is sweeping. Is it my mother? Not this time; I can't hear her angelic pastime singing.
The kitchen is in a process of erasure.
The kitchen is in a process of erasure.
Please slithering wormholes don't take away my kitchen. I have championed the tiles of this kitchen for nigh a quarter of a century.

Is it even my kitchen? Too bloody orange, too stuffed with bluish gleamings and noxious fumes. An anonymous ring like a chessboard. Its geometry threatens to implode —by a segment of mild insects!
Evacuate? Where to? The kitchen is an airtight spaceship, traversing vectors of swarming, impersonal memory.
Whence does this hollowness blow?
Whence this bodilessness?
Sssshh. All was but a warning, friendly. That She'll knock on my skull someday —and deform this kitchen ajar —delocalize it where untraceable beads of incubated mutilations (or, perhaps, dreams) err.
When you embrace death you become death. For once you are flee-flowing, for once merciful. Her trajectory timelessly ravages what I cling to until my clockwork breath jolts, my nails fall out and bleed.
But for now my kitchen remains in its right place. Hallelujah?

(Although this is written somewhat lightly I was very scared. A friend who was present and close by underscored physical effects like muscle twitching, a galloping pulse and eyeballs rolling like crazy. After a while I (?) felt ready to give everything up. After the cold a renunciation sweetest —a wisp that takes flight, carried away.)

The route was all nasal. I didn't measure thoroughly; it came from an alledged 2g bag that I bought all of which I snorted in a very short time. It sure looked like 2g though.

Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 112964
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23 
Published: Apr 30, 2019Views: 578
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Ketamine (31) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Poetry (43), Difficult Experiences (5)

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