DOSE:	1	oral	Cannabis	(edible / food)
	300-350 mg	oral	DXM	(liquid)
	1 Tbsp	oral	Kratom	(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

This is the first time I have ever written a trip report. The drugs are weed (in edible form) cough syrup, and Kratom. I don’t know if this counts as a trip report seeing as a only drank half of a relatively small bottle, but on the plus side, I’ve driven myself somewhat insane anyway in the past few years trying to unveil the nature of consciousness (ew… but that’s the only way I can think to phrase it…) so hopefully this will still be an interesting read, if only for the that aspect.

I’m not going to try to differentiate what effects are the result of which drugs…. This trip seems sort of accidental, usually not my cup of tea, but here’s what happened. I woke up super late and spent all day on the phone scheduling doctors appointments, calling insurance, etc. which other people might be more adept at dealing with but for me, it feels like having my teeth pulled. When my fiancé left for work I knew I would be stuck at the house without a car, with my 2 roommates for around 6 hours (they work from 6 pm to 12 am) so I ate a weed gummy.

Weed has always had a strange effect on me, which can end up being either positive or negative. The first time I ever smoked weed it felt like literal torture. The only reason I’m not permanently scarred is because I don’t remember it that well. The second time was terrible too, but it didn’t last as long because I blacked out. After multiple experiments with weed, I think I’ve figured out what it does to me: it feels so bad that I dissociate and a new personality takes over. It’s a part of me that I can conceptualize as part of my consciousness on an everyday basis, like a slice in a pie chart. Now Imagine that slice expanding to take over the whole pie. That’s what happens with weed. I named this personality “Echo” to try to explain what was going on to my roommates, but now I realize I shouldn’t have done that, but that’s a whole different story. This is my trip report, so I’m going to try to stay focused.

It is interesting that I didn’t ingest any acid because it really does feel like I’m tripping now… My vision feels extra sharp and focused, and I have an increased sense of intuition when it comes to this painting I’m working on. It’s a term I’ve coined “being on central” and I fucking live for that feeling. It’s when being in my own head feels so perfect, that I can almost just sit back and watch myself do things effortlessly. I’ve believed that free will is an illusion for some time now, so it doesn’t bother me at all. But most of the time I get so caught up in everyday drama, I can’t get to central. It’s very hard to get to central without drugs, but I’ve done it and it’s entirely possible. The issue is with memory: since there’s no actual physical change it’s hard to remember that I ever was on central. The thing about emotions is that it always seems like they will last a lifetime, even when one’s rational side knows this to be false. Sometimes it feels literally impossible to conceive of an emotion we are not covertly experiencing. For example, the feelings of sadness and despair when the weed first started to kick in felt so overwhelming, I literally couldn’t imagine being happy. Now I’m feeling fine, though, but nothing in my environment has changed, it’s all been internal. The human mind is theoretically capable of this kind of change without drugs, but it’s so much easier with them.

A year and a half ago I started a project. This project included starting a cult, and keeping precise documentation of My Spiritual Journey. (Putting it in all caps helps…. Like when contrapoints talks about her “Sex Change Operation.”) Some of the documentation is in the form of art, but all my art is and all it has ever been is a mixture of pure compulsion, and an effort to communicate to others what it’s like to be me. For me, art is telepathy at its most rudimentary. (Not just visual art but movies, music etc…) This is what it’s like to be me. What is it like to be you?

So my trip started off terribly. I felt hopeless, tired, and numb, like pot usually makes me feel. I didn’t want to go to sleep because I had already slept for most of the day, but if I was going to stay awake I needed something to make me feel alright. That morning we had been listening to a positive report about cough syrup, so that must have been what gave me the idea. I must have drank about 4 ozs of it, and taken some Kratom for good measure. Although I may not have taken much in terms of amount, it is having obvious effects on my psyche.

My entire thought process feels very meta. As in I can literally feel these tingles in my head when I have a thought I like, and mild nausea when I have a thought I dislike. This is the part that makes me feel like I’m not entirely in control. My visual perception is extremely distorted as well, tunnel vision, letters looking like they’re moving, perspective is all fucked up, seeing that field of symmetrical mandalas like a filter over my vision, with the brightest one wherever I’m looking at. I call it the “spinny spinny God” Say hi as it waves to you, but don’t expect more of an interaction than that.

I have spent most of the trip actually writing this trip report… I guess that’s why people generally don’t write these things while they’re tripping. (Duh.) I also connected with my roommate and worked on this painting. But there’s so much more, so much you don’t know,
Context context context
Everything’s meaningless without it.
And that’s why you should joint my cult.
The end.
THE END.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113172
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Oct 7, 2020	Views: 1,514
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DXM (22), Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)