Citation: ANA. "Very Addicted...Still Suffering: An Experience with MDMA (exp11318)". Erowid.org. Dec 16, 2001. erowid.org/exp/11318
At the time I did not see a problem with what I was doing. I did not have to work, go to school, had no one to answer to. I made friends with a big X dealer, and he developed a crush on me and kept handing me X for free. Sometimes he'd give me 2, sometimes he'd give me 10 (I'd save some for the following day.)
It started out I was using X once or twice a week, usually on the weekends with all my friends who were still students. It got WAY out of hand. I found that to escape the after effects of the drug the following day, instead of sleeping them off, I would pop a couple more pills. Soon I developed a tolerance from my almost every day use, and had to take 3 or four pills to feel the same effects. One night I went way out and took 10 (over a period of about 6 hours). I was rolling about 5-7 times a week. This continued for about a month and a half.
Now that I do not use the drug anymore, the after effects are still prevalent, after 9 months. When I tell a story or try to read sentances or paragraphs out loud, I will have breaks in my speech where I cannot find the right word to say, even if I am looking right at the word. I will kind of stumble on the word for a minute, and then finally get it out. VERY embarrassing. This often happens when I am merely having a conversation with someone. I think occasional use of MDMA is therapeutic, but I do not believe what I did to myself was anywhere near therapeutic, or fun. It became a way of life for me, I felt odd if I was NOT rolling. Be careful!
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