Citation: Eleucid. "Beings Wanting to Play: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp113218)". Erowid.org. Jul 18, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113218
Date = 12.30.2018
Amount = 0.10g extract @ 20x (scale accurate to 1/100th gram) followed by second bowl of roughly 0.1g
Method = smoked via water bong
Time till effect = ~20s
Length of trip = ~10m
After effects gone by = ~90m
Setting = Brightly lit room, sitting on sofa, listening to instrumental music via earbuds, sitter in nearby room
Since my last Salvia trip was overshadowed to such an extent by the sound of my heating system, I thought that if I listened to music, the trip would likely shape itself around that. I put together a playlist of instrumental songs from various Anime shows which I enjoy and began to play the music as soon as I had inhaled the smoke.
I burned 0.10g of Salvia 20x in my water bong, but didnít get all of it inhaled. I sat down on the couch in my brightly lit living room staring at the mantel piece and the picture hanging above it.
===The Trip (part 1)===
About 20 seconds later, the trip began. Reality began to undulate in visual wave-like patterns extending from the opposite side of the room and coming toward me, but the effects were weaker than the last time.
I had already started the music, and as the song began to fade in, I heard a dark voice coming from behind the fire place say to me, ďYou think you can make this experience better with music? Youíve got another thing coming for you.Ē This however didnítí seem to bother or surprise me. The voice was also more mental than auditory. I got the meaning of the message clearly, but Iím not sure that it was normal hearing. Even though all of this happened, I was still fully there, and realized that I simply hadnít gotten enough of the smoke into my lungs for a full trip to ensue.
I walked over to my sitter and had him help me with the bong again. I measured another 0.1g by eyeballing the Salvia amount, burned it, and inhaled again. I could have been off by 0.02g at most. I held all of the smoke in this time for a full 30 seconds.
===The Trip (part 2)===
Then it really began. The undulating wave-like patterns were back and I was becoming absorbed by them. I had a strong woody taste in my mouth, and I myself felt as if I was turning into wood. Every place my body contacted with a surface, was a point where I was melting into the room. I lost all sense of spatial awareness and the room became highly complex, yet flattened with some of the 3D objects becoming 2D.
I canít describe it clearly, but the room began to become my subconscious. For a split second, I could see everything in my mind clearly. There was me, and psychedelics and each was a different object within the room. I knew my place in the whole situation, what role psychedelics had in my life, and other things which I forgot. I could not take much of this out of the trip sadly.
After this I experienced beings in a room off to my right. They were speaking to me and wanting me to come further into the trip so that we could play. The problem is that I was unable to come further into the trip. I saw that this could be done, but I hadnít taken enough for it to happen. I was highly frustrated by this as I was in an unpleasant limbo state where I could neither progress further or move backwards.
I also saw that if I went even further than the ďplay areaĒ I could sink straight through the room into utter blackness. This is what I wanted to do, but I could feel that the beings didnít want me to go that far. I didnít really care about this, but it didnít matter because I couldnít go anywhere.
The beings felt sort of like they were parents wanting me to play with their children, or the children themselves, but somehow in a parently way. I got the feeling one was male and one was female.
At this point 'D', my sitter, came to the doorway of the room. His presence was the most overpowering and horrible thing Iíve ever experienced. It felt as if he was staring directly into my soul and I couldnít stand the feeling of being watched and judged. I wanted to go deeper into the trip, which I felt meant I needed to get off the couch and lay down on the floor, but I didnít think I could do that with him watching.
I was annoyed with the whole situation, but not at D. I knew he had done nothing. I asked the beings if they would come out and speak with me again. I said something like ďWill you speak with me again?Ē D thought I was referring to my first trip when I needed him to confirm that my body was not being stripped away. He started to answer and I snapped, ďShut up, Iím not talking to you!Ē He must have been a little freaked out. I find the whole situation highly amusing now, but then it was very important that I speak with the beings. They did not answer verbally, but I knew they wanted me to come closer.
The come down from the trip was not very interesting, and I was mostly frustrated that I hadn't been able to go as far into the experience as the beings wanted. As with my first experience with Salvia, .
All of the following changes were not caused by Salvia, but the experience game me insight into them and allowed me to integrate that in order to change.
First, because of my sitter's presence and how horrible it was, I realized how much I allow myself to be constrained by other people being around me. I am far more free and confident when facing social situations alone (I struggle with social anxiety) than when there are others around. I always feel as if they are watching and judging me and will see all of my failings and blunders. Iíve been taking a stand against this and have decided that Iím not going to care as much what people think of me. I just try to ignore these negative thoughts and when I do something stupid, I pretend no one noticed, or if they say something about it, I just laugh it off or tell them to STFU and I donít let it bother me. 😉 It has been a great feeling to not care so much about this. Iíve been able to be more true to myself and willing to engage in potentially challenging social situations.
Second, I seem to have an increased ability to perceive and analyze my intentions and emotions when engaging in conversation. I know why Iím saying the things that I am and am more aware of the ways in which I try to manipulate conversation to make myself look good, others look worse, or when Iím making slight fabrications to be more entertaining. I also feel that I have a better sense of others motivations, although Iím not as sure about that. This has been mostly positive in that Iíve tried to be very careful that I donít say and do things for the wrong reasons.
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