DOSE:		oral	Alcohol
	repeated	insufflated	Ketamine
	repeated	insufflated	Cocaine
	repeated	insufflated	MDMA
	repeated	vaporized	DMT
		smoked	Changa
			Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

13.5 st

Faceless Guides on DMT

I arrived at my friend’s house at around 8pm. I was invited earlier that day for dinner and a ‘smoke’ which I had hoped to mean DMT. I experienced my first DMT trip about 2 months ago. I think about it a lot and have real physiological effects when I do (raised heart rate, knots in my stomach, adrenaline rushes), I was very, very excited and curious to try it again.

During the incredibly intense visuals of my first trip I kept my eyes open as I had never had visual hallucinations like it before. So this time, I knew I wanted to close my eyes and begin to explore more inwardly.

There were seven guests at dinner, I had a small portion of food, as I knew I was going to be taking substances soon after and I didn’t feel particularly hungry. I had two single gin and tonics and 3 cans of 4.5% cider. I was not feeling particularly sociable and was much quieter than usual. I would say probably due in some respects to the anticipation of smoking DMT.

After dinner I took a line of ketamine (probably around a 0.1g). My head felt gently floaty and I had a slight twisting sensation in my mind. Physically, I began to relax and nerves in my stomach dissipated.

Within the next 30 minutes, I then took two small lines of cocaine, a small line of MDMA, and of couple of small lines of a mix of cocaine, ketamine and MDMA (not sure of exact doses but maybe around 50mg each). I began to ease in to my surroundings more and engage in conversations. Some conversations were emotionally deep (talking about past relationships, how much I felt inspired by that person and an attempt at palm reading). It felt nice to connect personally with one of the other dinner guests.

I then moved outside and sat in the garden smoking cigarettes with some of the other guests for approximately an hour before returning back inside to the dining table.

I then took 3 or 4 ‘keys’ of ketamine. I spoke to my friend about not wanting ‘the path of the evening to diverge away from DMT’ and resolved to slow down on the powders as I wanted to have a fairly clear head. (My first DMT trip was at the after party of a rave- where I had taken pills, cocaine and high dosages of psilocybin).

A new person arrived to the party and I began to feel a little bit anxious as I did not know him. Eventually I introduced myself and had a about conversation social anxiety. I was able to have a conversation and laugh with the new guest and began to feel more comfortable again.

I then went back outside to the courtyard part garden where four others were sat on chairs in a circle. I lit a cigarette and asked the question: ‘DMT?’. My friends agreed and one of the group went to find the DMT powder, glass bong and blow torch. I asked if I could go first, I was feeling really excited at this point.

My friend heated up the end of the bong (not sure of the technical term, but it was a different down pipe to that used for smoking weed in the bong). Using the blowtorch he heated the ‘bowl’, he turned off the blow torch and told me to begin inhaling. As I inhaled he poured the powder into the ‘bowl’ and a small amount of smoke entered my lungs. I held it in for approximately 20 seconds. I immediately felt a familiar ‘buzz’ although it was not intense at all. I saw faint geometric patterns through the window into the kitchen and heard a slight high pitch ringing. One of the guests came out to say goodbye as they were leaving and I get disappointed as I wanted a still, calm environment to experience my trip and it didn’t feel quite ‘right’ as people were leaving.

I explained that the trip was not very strong and I would like to go again. I had to wait for another member of the group to have a go. It was their first time and they had a small dosage. I found it difficult to be interested in his trip as I was- selfishly- just thinking about having another go, going deeper, exploring further.

My friend was worried as he did not have the right scales to weigh up the dose. I explained that I wanted to do a bigger one than last time. He agreed. After, he estimated it was around 40mg (although I didn’t smoke the whole dose). Again, he heated up the bong with the blow torch, this time leaving it on the table next to my chair. I inhaled deeply and slowly and held in the smoke.

Before I had exhaled I began to see geometric patterns on the side of the house. I exhaled and sat back in my chair. The wall in front of me began to glow a bright gold colour and came alive with geometric shapes. They seemed three-dimensional and jumped off the wall. I looked around to the other people in the group and the patterns followed on to them. I looked over to the tree in the garden it segmented into geometric patterns and each section glowed blue and red. I looked back to the courtyard wall and everything was bright gold and alive - cartoon like. It was extremely beautiful. Physically I felt elated, so happy to be back in this place. I let out moans of joy, it was almost orgasmic, moaning was much easier than trying to explain the beauty of it all . My friends sat quietly, I was glad that they were there but did not want to talk to them.

Then I remembered that I had wanted to close my eyes. I closed them and saw a black space divided with white lines. There were no walls, floor or ceiling, it was an infinite cavernous space which curved like the fabric of space time. I suddenly felt a pressure on top of me, I thought my friends had stood up and were leaning on me. I opened my eyes and saw through the patterns that they were sat in their chairs. No one had moved. I asked ‘Have I got clothes on?’ They reassured me that I did, I asked no one to move and closed my eyes again.

I was back in the cavernous black space divided with the white lines in criss-cross patterns. I was floating, the space was moving up and down, I felt as though I could control the direction I was looking in. I wanted to see more.

In the corner of my vision I saw a faceless entity. I knew it was a woman. She was block shaped with soft edges, she had a block head with brown skin and no face, she wore a green head band. This block was placed upon her block body which was green. She was pulling the edge of the space down to show me more. I wanted her to go faster, to show me more. More of her stacked on top of each other horizontally on the left hand side of my vision, until there were five or six of these entities pulling the corner of the space up slowly.

I opened my eyes because of a feeling of pressure on my body. Everything was still again.

I closed my eyes again, the women were still there, pulling up the corner of the space to show me, slowly, slowly, what was there. I couldn’t quite see, I wanted to see so badly. They began to disappear, I was whispering, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ I felt they were leaving because of my impatience. I whispered, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ They were gone and I opened my eyes.

I was still experiencing moderate visual hallucinations when I opened my eyes and let out deep exhalations of pleasure. The hallucinations fizzled away and I felt sad that I was starting to forget what had happened, particularly during the open eye section of the trip.

There was no time to let the experience settle as then my friend got up to leave. I felt as though people had left because of me, I felt intensely guilty. My friends reassured me that this was not the case but I could not shake this feeling of guilt. Another friend left and there were three of us left.

I did a few more keys of ketamine and the three of us went out to the garden to smoke cigarettes. I spoke about how I didn’t know who I truly was, how I truly felt about things.

My friend then loaded up a metal pipe with Changa. He took a long hit and laid back. He then passed the pipe to me, I burnt it slowly and closed my eyes. I was travelling down a beautiful tunnel with geometric patterns to the front and at either side of me. Moving quickly but in a very relaxing, calming way. We all sat silently. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and felt an incredible feeling of calm and peace. We spoke about how nice it would be to bottle up this feeling. We had another small hit of changa, enjoying the peace of it.

Then we went inside and I had a few more keys of ketamine. We spoke about my need for reassurance and we cuddled on the sofa until eventually the taxi home.

I smoked some changa in a spliff when I got home, it left me feeling light (a welcome change after the heaviness of the ketamine) and I laid in bed hoping to have a sense of the peace that had come earlier. I did not have the ‘tunnel’ or any geometric patterns, and eventually fell asleep around 5 am.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113228
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Jul 5, 2019	Views: 791
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DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)