Citation: PaSta. "Just Perfect; Like Everything Else in the World: An Experience with MDMA (exp113229)". Erowid.org. Jul 8, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113229
First Time Experience With MDMA
I acquired my MDMA from a source I could trust, though I did not test with a reagent kit. I used a milligram scale to measure out 100mg for myself and 90mg for a friend. I also had one additional sober friend present to ensure everything went smoothly. It may be worth mentioning that the only other psychoactive drugs I had used in a recreational manner at this point were caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and cannabis.
I consumed the MDMA as a 'bomb', wrapped in a cigarette rolling paper. The three of us then sat on my sofa and watched a nature documentary because... why not. I got a friend to start a timer, so that I would have a rough idea of when to expect effects. We sat there for about 45 minutes, when I turned to my friend who had consumed 90mg. His face looked pale and did not look well. He stood up and for a second I thought he was going to throw up, however his face burst into a huge smile and he began exclaiming how he was ''definitely feeling something''. He said that he had felt nauseous sitting down, but that he felt a lot better now that he was walking around the room.
15 minutes later, we were playing music and though my friend seemed to be enjoying himself, I could still feel no noticeable change. I knew that the effects would kick in soon and I was fairly nervous, so I went into my garden and lit a cigarette. I should mention that I dont smoke often, so I got quite a nicotine rush. A few minutes after smoking, I realised that the nicotine could no longer be responsible for what I was feeling... I felt different, though at that point in time I could not have described it. Walking back into my house, I came to realise that I was definitely off base-line and that the nicotine was not the culprit. I felt a warmness that was certainly comparable to the effects on nicotine, but on a whole new level.
As I joined my friends again, I notified them that I was quite high. My friend who had also taken the MDMA was explaining to me how he had always thought of MDMA as a 'bad drug', but that he couldn't see how people thought that about this chemical now that he was experiencing it. I went to get water for the three of us and felt somewhat off-balance on my way there, in a manner comparable to alcohol consumption. Upon entering my living room with the water, I lay down on my carpet, put on a blanket and listened to relaxing music (LoFi).
Despite only taking 100mg, an amount that some people would say is fairly small, I felt euphoria in a way I never thought imaginable. I lay there on the carpet, in a state of pure bliss, feeling the music running though my head.
I lay there on the carpet, in a state of pure bliss, feeling the music running though my head.
I would describe the enhancement of music differently to that of how cannabis enhances music. With cannabis, music usually sounds disproportionately better than usual... the cannabis somehow makes the music sound better. With MDMA the song isn't better than usual... its just perfect; like everything else in the world. Upon hearing every note played, it would feel like that note belonged and that no other note could come close to replacing it. The songs sounded like they they were meant to be played at that point in time for a reason.
After 30 minutes of enjoying the warmth of a blanket like never before, both me and my friend who was rolling, decided that the garden would be the best place to go. Luckily it was one of the sunniest days of the year so far, although in the UK that isn't much of an achievement. Everything seemed to be glowing like never before... like all the plants in the garden were showing off to me. I noticed and appreciated every strand of grass in sight, before taking off my shoes and letting the grass tickle my socks. The sky was a perfect light blue and clouds were floating around in spectacular shapes.
After seeing the beauty of the nature in my own garden, I was overcome with a sudden urge to go on a walk up to a nice viewpoint only 10 minutes away. It took a small amount of convincing my friends, as my sober friend couldn't appreciate the nature as I did in that moment and my friend who had taken MDMA was very comfortable sitting where he was. Nevertheless, we eventually set off on an endeavour into nature.
On the way there, I was extremely talkative, as I was noticing feelings inside me I hadn't realised were there before.
I was extremely talkative, as I was noticing feelings inside me I hadn't realised were there before.
I came to realise how unthinkably lucky I was to live in a small village, surrounded by nature with very little concern. I found the few things that were concerning me and talked about them to my friends, explaining how I found overcome those obstacles and reminding myself that no matter what happens, everything would work out alright.
When we reached the viewpoint, we sat on a pile of logs and stared at the tiny houses and cars, content with it all. Time seemed to be going by very quickly and before we knew it, we had spent 30 minutes doing nothing but talking while looking at the world below us. As we walked back, we both noted that we were no longer as high as earlier. We were about 2 hours into the effects when we got back to my house.
As I sat back down in my living room and turned on the music, I saw a spider crawling around on the ceiling. I watched it fidget about and wondered how long spiders lived and what they got up to. Usually I would have rushed to get rid of it, but I felt like I could understand the spider on a level like never before. I started laughing, at the realisation that I was feeling empathy for a spider and began to come up with a story about the spider's life to explain how he had ended up in my living room. I ended up catching the spider and letting it crawl into the garden, sure that it would live out a rich spider life.
After some more music and some more talking, over 3 hours had passed since the effects had started. Water began to taste like water again and breathing the fresh air no longer felt like I was inhaling the earth's spirit. My friends left me and I sat, now feeling quite sober. I still felt a great love for the world and it was now that I had time to actually think about what had occurred in the last few hours. I was still very pleasantly surprised by the whole experience, as despite reading up on other peoples experiences, I never could have imagined that any experience could ever be so perfect. I became aware that the memory of this day would remain with me for the greatest part of my life.
Some final notes on things that I experienced that I will try to put into words:
- I could see what appeared to be small particles moving around the window... these were definitely a result of the MDMA, however they only stayed for about 30 seconds somewhere during the first hour of my experience. Other than this, I experienced no visuals of any kind.
- I ate a small amount of food during the experience at various points. Although it felt fantastic, the flavour of food was in no way enhanced, as it might be after consuming cannabis.
- Comparing cannabis to MDMA is fairly impossible. They are not experiences that are much alike. I can however point out some differences that I felt. While cannabis enhances certain things like music or the taste of food, MDMA did not seem to do this. Instead, MDMA just made everything 'perfect'. I was perfectly content with everything, so things like food and music didn't stand out much from the rest of the world.
- I became very aware of how much I appreciated everything around me and how little time I usually spend appreciating those things. In the days following, I would look outside and think about how thankful I am to everything being as it is.
In the days following, I would look outside and think about how thankful I am to everything being as it is.
Despite this, I have not been able to see things such as nature, or the softness of blankets in the way that I did during my experience since... a blanket now feels like it always has and no matter how much I think about nature, it doesn't seem to matter to me as much as it did during my experience.
-I did not have a negative comedown, as I used this time to go over what I had learn during my experience. I also didn't feel any worse than usual in the days following... if anything I was happier with my new found knowledge of how its possible to see the world.
-Despite feeling amazingly euphoric the entire time, my mind felt very sober. I could think very clearly and I didn't get side tracked the way I might under the influence of cannabis. If anything I would say I could think more clearly, or at least from a new perspective.
If I had to describe my experience in as little as 10 words, I would probably go with something along the lines of... 'The feeling of the whole world giving you a hug.'
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