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End of My Xanax Days
by Taylor
Citation:   Taylor. "End of My Xanax Days: An Experience with Alprazolam (exp113260)". Erowid.org. Jun 30, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113260

2 tablets oral Pharms - Alprazolam
  2 tablets oral Pharms - Alprazolam
    repeated oral Pharms - Alprazolam


[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

Iíll start with a little background about myself. Iím 21 years old now and Iíve used marijuana, alcohol, oxycodone, hydrocodone, mushrooms, LSD, 25i-nbome, 25c-nbome, 5-meo-mipt, 5-meo-dipt, cocaine, methamphetamine, DXM, Valium, tramadol, and Xanax. I love drugs but Iíve learned that I am a drug addict and once Iíve started using thereís no way in hell I can stop. As Iím writing this Iím 6.5 months clean from all mind altering substances.

This is my first experience story so bare with me.

So 3 years ago or so I found Xanax. Iíve taken it before then but something about it that time made me obsessed with it. Xanax is all I ever thought about, I loved to not feel or to just bury my feelings so no one not even myself could find them. I grew such a tolerance to them I was taking 4x 2mg bars just to feel Ďhighí. I was buying 100x a week for years and this played a role in my job performance as well as conscious state of mind. ďYou look horribleĒ, ďDid you not sleep at all last night?Ē, ďAre you ok? You seem really offĒ, ďWhatís wrong with you?!Ē, and the biggest one, ďYou donít remember...?Ē Those weíre all quotes I heard on a daily basis from my family, girlfriend, boss, and anyone who played a role in my life. I checked myself into rehab 6/5/18, detoxed off the Xanax then left.
I checked myself into rehab 6/5/18, detoxed off the Xanax then left.
I didnít do drugs for 3 months then started using Xanax and marijuana concentrate in moderation. Around 11/1/18, I had a bright idea to order cocaine and Xanax off of the internet and thatís exactly what I did.

On 11/17/18, I checked the tracking for the millionth time for my package from the internet of 100x pressed Xanax bars which were advertised as having 3.5mg-5mg aprazolam powder. I was stoked because just a few days before I had received and used 3.5g of pink cocaine from another seller on the internet and it was amazing. ANYWAY, the bars finally had arrived (to my work mind you) and I also had plans to go to a concert that evening which was about 100 miles away but I had to stop and make a delivery for work. I planned to bring my girlfriend with me, it was gonna be a good day! I had it all planned out and boy was I wrong...

I picked up the bars secretly at my work at 10:00 am after the mail came and immediately I went to the vape shop. Before going in I swallowed 2x bars and keep in mind this is anywhere from 7mg-10mg aprazolam on an extremely low tolerance. After I got done with my purchase at the vape shop I went home and began to chill before I had to leave for the delivery and concert at 4:00pm which was 5 hours away. I started to feel the effects of the Xanax and the addict I am I wanted to feel it now so I took 2x more (14mg-20mg). At this point here is where the whole story had been told to me.

Next thing I know several hours past and my girlfriend was stand over me screaming at me to wake up. She had been used to this when I was using because she thought I had went into a coma several times lol. When I woke up she said I wasnít making any sense and she knew I was high but apparently I told her that I was still dreaming... I guess I assured her a lot because we left and she let me drive. *Please do not drive under the influence itís extremely dangerous, you can kill yourself and others in the matter of seconds* She asked to see my phone to call her mom and not thinking twice I gave her my phone. After seeing I had sent pictures to other friends saying, ďon deck with barsĒ she had freaked out and apparently I told her to screw herself that I didnít care if we lived or died. I proceeded to drive as if I was in fast and furious going 90+ on a busy Los Angeles freeway. Finally after 15 minutes of this or so, my dad called me and told me to come home... At this point I knew she had called him. I was again yelling at her calling her every name in the book but I did turn around. When I reached home my dad took my girlfriend in the garage and I guess they told me I needed to go to rehab again. I went into my room and apparently barricaded the door. I remember just throwing random pieces of clothes in a bag as well snapping bars and swallowing them, snapping and swallowing.

Next thing I knew I woke up in detox. I was so out of it and felt like a train wreck had happened in my brain. They were giving me diazepam to help level me out which was nice but all the staff was looking at me in an odd way. I ended up asking one of the techs what happened when I came in. She said, ďyou kept trying to get us to buy Xanax from you and take you back to the party. You got really upset when we didnít want to buy Xanax from you and after we searched you, you started to pee your pants right in front of all of us. We told you to go change but you went into the wrong bed, grabbed the sheets from under the mattress and wrapped yourself up like a burrito. We finally got you to move but you brought all of the sheets with you. You were making so much noise everyone didnít know what was going on. So how much Xanax did you even take because you kept telling us you didnít take anything?Ē

After hearing all this, I was embarrassed but the only thing I could do was laugh it off.

Today Iím clean and have no desire to go back to that desperate lifestyle. I wasted so much time using and even trying to use that I canít ever see myself going back to that point.

Exp Year: 2015-2018ExpID: 113260
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20 
Published: Jun 30, 2019Views: 1,348
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Pharms - Alprazolam (98) : Overdose (29), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
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