Citation: LiminalMugwump. "A Psycho-Spiritual Odyssey: An Experience with LSD (exp113261)". Erowid.org. Jun 10, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113261
||(blotter / tab)
| T+ 3:35
23 / 10
My goal for this trip today is to reset my mind and spirit to a more exploratory and positive world-view. I have gotten bogged down in downers to block out and escape my anxieties and insecurities, but ultimately they are a blockade to me actually progressing with my life. I hope this trip will put me on the right track and help break the negative cycle I have fallen into. I have also recently started studying anthropology so it would be interesting to contemplate some of the concepts that I have been studying this far a bit deeper - try to push towards the core.
08.30 am (T+0.00): Drop two tabs of nice quality clean LSD (estimated 180 – 200 ug). The tabs was advertised as 140ug but as always I assume it to be lower than advertised, and through previous experience of said batch and tenuous cross-reference to other experiences I guestimate them to be 90 – 100 ug each - but hey, who really knows?
T+0.30: The first tells are starting to come on, my head is starting to feel light, my stomach funny, and there is a subtle sheen emerging in my vision. It is a nice autumnal day with crisp clear breaks of sun through wispy cloud, a perfect day for a spiritual reset.
LSD unlocks the divine within oneself. The spark of divinity present in each individual manifestation of the One source.
T+1.00: I can feel gentle energy rolling subtly through my body in tandem with the music and I find myself moving in flowing sinuous movements. This seems to be a characteristic of most of my acid come-ups. Maybe it’s just my body getting comfortable with the newly emerging sense of energies usually beyond the realm of the senses. Dancing in symbiosis with the energy that is all around.
T+1.04: I decide to lie down and put on my eye mask to see if there is anything accessible behind closed eyelids.
T+1.35: As usual I am always slightly taken aback by the subtle gentle incline in the effects of nice LSD. It rises slowly, like a pure light from within, taking it’s time to start seeping out into the external environment. So far the major effects are somatic – a feeling of blissful energy and Being, although visuals definitely have started to present themselves a bit as everything takes on a glassy sheen.
I would normally smoke cannabis at this point or earlier to help usher in the visuals and effects but have decided to refrain this time for a more ‘pure’ LSD experience, and maybe leave it for the reflective comedown portion of the trip. Although I love cannabis and it undoubtedly adds something special to any psychedelic experience I suspect it can add to the confusing and chaotic aspects to a trip so will keep it to a minimum and see if I can observe any noticeable differences in clarity of trip. It’s worth noting that I am a regular cannabis smoker and don’t think I have ever tripped without it so this is a novel experience for me.
T+1.50: It is important for living beings to try and holistically incorporate all aspects of being into the pool of the All. Learn to use your body, your mind, learn about how the world we find ourselves in now operates and maybe through this someday we will get an inkling of the general direction of things. Life as we know it existentially is like a game, it’s a mysterious field where we don’t know all the rules, but the more we interact with the game and learn the rules the more fun and fulfilling our game experience will be.
T+2.00: I decide to do a little bit of Kundalini Yoga with the aid of an instructional video online to move some of the energy around my body.
T+2.25: I feel a bit more centred and limber after the yoga but all in all I found the instructional video I was watching distracted me from anything deeper. I think it is best to meditate undistracted, so I decide to do just that.
T+2.50: I am approaching the peak and although it has been a pleasant experience so far, and certainly much more clear-headed, I am left a little underwhelmed and decide now is an appropriate time to roll a small joint.
T+3.00: LSD is a gentle slope towards the peak, I think I’m there until BAM, I reach the summit and witness the vistas bellow realising that NOW I’m there. I decide to hold back on the joint for now and see where this takes me. Everything has become touched with beauty and detail. I found myself looking at a photo of the Bayon Temple in Angkor Wat, the still and smiling faces of Bodhisattva forever at stillness in the rock, there is a deep serenity to be found in just being. Humbleness, kindness, compassion and intent are the keys to happiness.
T+3.35: I decided to smoke the joint and invoke the divine spirit of Shiva as a catalyst for inward exploration. I put on my eye-mask and some ambient drones and lie back in my bed.
I am a seam in the fabric of the whole…
I need to allow the serene in nature - the wide silent spaces and open vistas of experience - into my life. And find tranquillity in the spirit of the individual through the tranquillity of the spirit of the whole.
I open my window and hear the guttural vocalisations of workers outside; are these the same crude mouth noises that we all rely on as the sole medium for the transmission of information? I start to think of forms of information transferral in other species - the hive mind - pheromones – chemically downloaded information that goes directly to the core of the organism…
LSD loosens the psychological boundaries for imprinting.
Bliss is to be found in the silence between.
T+4.45: After spending some time meditating I decided I needed a light snack. I went downstairs and helped myself to some snacks, and thought it could be interesting to turn on the TV and see what my perception of ‘general life’ is like at the moment. I happened upon Masterchef US with Gordon Ramsey and it just seemed to me the most hilarious spectacle. An ultra-hyped-up ‘Give the humans what they want, just throw it at ‘em!’ entertainment. Full of Ego’s, motorbikes, machismo and sausage. Every human pitted against one another to try and get the ultimate prize of appraisal for their Italian sausage by an inflated caricature in a leather jacket flanked by a couple of B-movie mobsters. It all seemed very contrived and like the pinnacle of silliness and I couldn’t help but laugh at it all. I couldn’t watch for long though and turned it off at the commercial.
Thought and imagery associated with Buddhist philosophy has been at the forefront during this trip, which is not a philosophy that I would maintain in my daily life and certainly not one I have been upholding in practice. Although I’m not a converted Buddhist, I think there certainly are elements of it that speak to me at the life-stage I find myself right now that merit listening to and integrating.
T+4.30: My muscles are a little stiff so I decide to take a hot bath.
T+5.10: The bath did the job, it was nice, mellow, and thought provoking. I have been thinking a lot about the essential connectivity and unity of all life, we are individuals but we all share DNA-life at the kernel of our being driving us on towards something. I had the image of humanity likened to a giant plant, all connected through the same route system to the same life giving source. But we each flower individually and have our own distinct pollen to spread and add to the fray of the genus as a whole.
I think it could be interesting to have a little venture outside, so out I go…
T+8.00: I spent roughly the last two hours outdoors, wandering around the local nature reserve and beach. The journey started interestingly when as I turned on to the path leading to the nature reserve I overheard two women walking by, one of them was asking the other something along the lines of ‘Do you ever wonder what people say about you in other people’s stories? Like, if you are a part of someone else’s narrative?’. Now that is a fairly deep snippet of conversation to be overhearing with a head full of acid.
I worked my way up the hill that is the nature reserve, which is ironically straddled by a backdrop of factories billowing out massive puffs of nature destroying smoke. I stopped and listened to the noise from the factories, which at one point along the trail drowned out all sound of nature. I closed my eyes and really focused in on the sounds, chugging and dissonant with no harmony – this is the soundtrack to life in the city, the backdrop to our psyche. Whereas the sounds of nature struck me as harmonious. I underwent deep psychological contemplations as I walked, again the theme of the unity of life being present, and also dealing with some of the roots of my own social anxieties.
I reached the summit of the small hill and walked out onto the small plateau overlooking the sea and city beyond. I realised that all I strive for, and I believe anyone does, was the quiet and freedom to just be without judgement or anxiety. I think this ideal of the open free space is what anyone who gets drawn to nature strives for, subconsciously or consciously, and I felt a bond with the mainly pensioner crowd that made up my (unwitting) companions here on this voyage. It made me realise how much I am bound by and caught up in the social conventions and expectations that I so vehemently pay lip-service against. Yet I am also a slave, shackled by a net of internalised social structures, which like all human structures are arbitrary and fallible. My mind was then cast back to the commonalities of life that transcend social-structure and I continued my beatific journey down the backside of the hill and on to the beach.
Once I reached the beach the sound of the sea overpowered the dissonant drones of the factories. I joyed in the beauty of the world - a small flock of starlings flew past in graceful formation and each shell was magnificent in its artistry. I found myself a nice little sheltered spot against a sand dune, where I sat down and meditated to the lapping rhythm of the sea and revelled in just being - sitting there on the beach looking through shells and at the sea, like the crows that scarpered about me. As I sat there and watched the crows, the undeniable difference between life forms struck me. I reasoned at the time that although we all glow with the same life-force at the core, the physical receptacle places certain limits and infers certain directions for its expression whilst manifest in specific physical forms.
On the way home I decided to go to the shops to pick up a couple of things I needed. All went well in the shop and I found it interesting watching all the people milling about the isles. There was a brief awkward moment though in the off-license while I was buying a few beers, I seem to have lost all control of my bodies heat-regulating mechanisms and went completely flushed and red whilst attempting small-talk with the girl behind the counter. She’s a kind girl but she’s seen me in there far too many times before in various states of substance induced discombobulation and probably thinks I’m a poor fool. Ah well, what can you do. So it goes…
It may be worth noting at this point that the trip itself hasn’t been overly visual, although visuals are certainly present. I believe that the true force of the LSD trip is psychological in nature. Also abstaining from Cannabis apart from one small joint at the T+3.30 mark did remove a certain chaotic depth that I believe Cannabis adds, it was an altogether more coherent and ‘clear’ trip which I found enjoyable and useful for the purpose of this trip.
Today has been a real eye-opener of a trip and very valuable. It shed a lot of light on some addictions and bad habits I have fallen into and the fallacy and ultimate worthless destructiveness of them. I’m not saying this one trip has cured me of all my ills, but I do believe it has been a stepping stone onto a better path.
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