Citation: Spermo. "Dark and Incredible: An Experience with Ketamine & Beer (exp113368)". Erowid.org. Jul 14, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113368
I think it's safe to say I won't be trying this drug again for a long time. Much of my discomfort was my own fault but it still scared me enough to make me wary of a second trip. I have taken large amounts of shrooms/acid and had nothing but a positive experience, so this was my first "bad trip" in all my years of psychedelic experimentation.
Our preparation for the trip was not the greatest. It was the fourth of july, and we decided to go to Rockaway beach. Our provisions consisted mostly of about 30 beers and a bottle of wine split between 4 people. I finished my portion of the alcohol [10 beers] with an empty stomach over about 5 hours
I finished my portion of the alcohol [10 beers] with an empty stomach over about 5 hours
at the beach before it started getting dark and we were supposed to meet a friend at a "rooftop party" to see fireworks. After about an hour train ride, with my legs sunburnt to hell, we arrived at what was supposed to be a rooftop party but was literally just a few people sitting on a 4th story balcony drinking beer. Not a good setting for Ketamine. I took a bump in the bathroom and we hung out for another hour or so. I felt no effects from the bump I took other than a slight wobbly feeling when I tried to walk or move. The sunburn didn't help with my locomotion.
We decided to ditch the party, and none of us ever having done a large ketamine dose before, thought we might be able to easily walk the streets after another 4 bumps each that were conspicuously taken with my keys on the sidewalk. We just didn't have the discipline to save it and go home, and wait for a real party. My girlfriend, who was more experienced than me, neglected to tell me how much I was taking. I was unsatisfied with the standard microdose high, however, and figured there must be something I'm missing from this drug.
It immediately became harder to walk. We started to wander and I believe stopped by a deli for some smokes. I started to feel like I was literally a foot tall. Everything started to seem incredibly short, and walking became increasingly difficult. The patterns in the brick sidewalk swirled and seemed to be mocking me. Everything took on a personification that seemed malevolent. I don't remember how but we ended up in a park, but I sat down on a bench with my head between my knees and my eyes closed for the next 45 minutes. I realized that I was fully in the K-hole, and the few things I could say for the next hour were apologies for ruining my friends' trip.
The entire time spent inside my mind was incredibly dark. I remember seeing old, moss-covered silhouettes of stone doors opening and beckoning me inside. I remember many corners and spaces, all terrifyingly dark. My eyes were closed but multiple times they seemed to be open, and I would be in very different places
My eyes were closed but multiple times they seemed to be open, and I would be in very different places
, such as the subway or at the beach. I tried a few times to open my eyes and screamed in terror at the real world returning. Waves would wash over my mind's eye, the psychedelic pink color of the waves in the movie Solaris. When they would wash over me I would scream in unexplainable fear. They were calm but terrifying. I puked all the beer out of my guts at some point during this experience, and then dry-heaved like never before. It was like wringing my stomach dry.
I eventually started to open my eyes and sit up, with my girlfriend's encouragement. For the first ten minutes I could only look at the ground as whenever I looked up and sat back, I was overwhelmed, nauseas, and terrified by the expanse of the world around me. I eventually opted to lay down instead, and gradually open my eyes more frequently in attempt to come back to Earth. Whenever I opened them something in front of me would morph into an evil creature, smiling and coming towards me. The trees and clouds I saw looking up all took shape of something inexplicably malevolent. I heard laughing, which I was told later were the other people at the park. Dark little creatures would run towards we when I looked at the ground. I also often hallucinated subway walls reaching into the sky, never ending. I had no idea where I was. I kept repeating that I wanted to die. This whole time huge explosions were going off every 30 seconds from street fireworks for the holiday.
I guess the lesson of the story is to not underestimate K, no matter how well versed I am in other psychedelics. It's a whole different high.
After a lot of practice walking and keeping my eyes open, I was eventually able to Uber home safely. The day after I'm still not sure if this was a good or bad experience coming out of it. For the rest of the night, those waves came back whenever I closed my eyes and my feet often felt like they were buried in sand.
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