DOSE:

3 berries

oral

Belladonna

BODY WEIGHT:

56 kg

I've always been the good girl, I don't smoke, I drink moderately, never tried drugs.

When I was 27 I was diagnosed with keratocone, a rare genetic pathology that had already severely impaired my sight and, as they found out late, many therapies were useless - no cross linking, no intrasthomal implant, no mini invasive transplant due to particular conformation of my keratocone.

When I was 22 my left eye dropped from 9/10 to 1/10, now it's 0/10 and right eye is worsening too. According to my last ophthalmologist, this sudden loss of sight on one eye caused an "overload" on the optic nerve, causing ophthalmic migraine with aura when I read too much. As a law student, it was annoying, it f*cked up my exam preparation as it occurred more than once a week leaving me tired in the following days.

I've visited many experts, they never gave me a solution for migraine, as they didn't know the origin, and then they didn't understand the specific problem and gave me a generic cure. They just prescribed me tons of painkillers, flunarizine, anxiolytics and antidepressants (they once believed I invented the loss of sight to justify failed exams).

So, I tried to study my own case and maybe I found how to reverse the optic nerve overload: when I feel migraine with aura coming, I still have approx 1 hour before sight loss: as soon as I can, I assume some Belladonna and then lay down in the darkness for a bit or close my eyes. It almost always reduces my migraine and there is no aura at all, it saved my life.

So, when I need it, I eat 3 normal sized berries, 4 if they are small, and I chew them very well, keeping them under my tongue before gulping. Bitter flavour is not a problem. I bought seeds from internet, now I have a pretty big plant full of nice purple flowers and a dozen of newborn (last winter all but one plants froze and I got new seeds to replace them). I put berries in the freezer in a tupperware to save them.

When I ran out of berries I made a tea with a mug of hot water and leaves and then I ate the leaves, but I found it less effective. The first time I used 2 leaves, then 4, then 6. I think 6 or 7 is the right number. Next autumn I want to make a tincture to have a constant quantity of alkaloid in every drop. My plants are small and they grow in a pot on a balcony, I would not follow these quantities if my plants grew wild, as they are more powerful.

I've never used Belladonna for tripping and I have no intention.

Side effects are very bland, and I'm not sure which part is caused by migraine and which part by Belladonna. Thirst is tolerable. Heart rate is almost normal. Dilated pupils arrive in less than 1 hour and get normal when I wake up next day. I also feel sexy with my big pupils, even if they are not completely opened. Sometimes my feminine parts burn when I first pee after assumption.
Leaves gave me stomach pain, berries don't.

Weird dreams are the best part: I often dream of a huge, dark labyrinth made of rooms with wooden interiors and cheap furniture, a room after the other, full of people turning my back and disappearing in the other rooms (sometimes I can have small talks with them) and when I finally find a window the world outside is completely messed up. It's a good metaphor of my life, as I feel trapped, deserted by friends and I see no hope outside my routine.

I had about 25 experiences in 1,5 years

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 113373
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Apr 16, 2020	Views: 2,196
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Belladonna (9), Dreams (85) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Medical Use (47), Alone (16)