DOSE:		oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
	7.5 mg	oral	Pharms - Olanzapine	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

62 kg

I would describe myself as a very analytical and scientific person, I never believed in any kind of religion or "supernatural" things, however, just 0.5mgs of this crazy ergoline compound managed to make me question all of this, at least for a few hours.

At this time I hadn't taken LSD in quite a while, I had six tabs wrapped up in aluminium foil lying on my desk for a few weeks waiting for a good time to take some of them.

One Saturday evening I decided to just stay up for this night to take the LSD, so I took 300ugs at about 8:30pm, I was a little bit nervous so I decided to take a shower during the come up to calm down a bit. Fast forward about 90 minutes later I still felt barely anything. Since it was summer I started to worry that the LSD might have degraded in the warm climate. I decided to take another 50ugs and over the next half hour I started to feel quite a bit more, but I still decided to take another 50ugs.

About an hour later I knew.....the LSD hadn't degraded a bit. At this point, about 11pm I was REALLY enjoying it, I was just watching a music video and it felt like as if I actually was at the concert. I would get completely immersed in the music video to the point where I would forget that I was actually a person sitting in front of a computer screen. I occasionally had to look around me to make sure I was still in my room. This was also the first time where I got really noticable visuals. As I was watching the singer in the video I saw patterns of thin blue lines coming off from her hair and spinning in a circle. I also saw waves going all over my screen matching the sounds of the music.

However, I think the far more interesting thing were the mental effects, like how the things on my screen would kinda seem to melt together with reality. I would look at the suggested video bar and it would feel like as if it was going outside of the screen expanding besides me to the floor. I didn't actually see that, it was more like that the environment in my head melted together with my real environment.

And the environments I would create in my head were extremely vivid , for instance at one point I would think about other drugs I wanna try in the future, and I would create a super vivid environment in my head where I was walking under a huge old bridge made out of red bricks where I would buy these drugs from dealers, and later in the trip when I would think back to that it would feel like as if I was really there.

At around 3am I thought the effects were wearing off, but I didn't want it to end yet, so I made the mistake of taking a final 100ugs. Within the next 30 minutes it started to go really crazy. The letters on my screen would start morphing into japanese and chinese letters, it was impossible to read anything. I had YouTube turned into the dark mode, so the letters would just start to glow like crazy. It looked like as if they were holes in the screen and behind it there was a nuclear bomb going off. Suddenly I would see a spot glowing on the side bar, when I turned away and then looked at my screen again I was shocked that it wasn't going away. At this point the experience started to go in a not so nice direction. Suddenly it looked like my dark room was filling with white fog which would quickly turn into a pattern over the walls of my room.

It would start from the glowing spot on my screen which would make paths connecting to other dots all over my walls. It looked like neurons in the brain, I was so shocked thinking that I was just looking at the inside of my mind. And even when I would leave my room and come back, the pattern would still look exactly the same, I really couldn't believe it and with extreme difficulty I would mark a few points on the walls with a pencil. It was extremely difficult because I wasn't capable of doing a simple normal task, talk or even think a straight thought at this point, I became really scared and locked myself in the bathroom blocking any tiny light source with towels so I won't see any more patterns.

I sit in the shower trying to not go totally insane and focus on my breathing, my thoughts were somewhat like that:
"Okay.....breath in.....breath out...breath....oh god....I feel.......mentally insan.....STOP, breath in, breath out, if I get through this....wait.....I never well.....be normal.....BREATH IN, BREATH OUT"

It was like the hardest meditation training ever, every time my thoughts would wander I felt like I was being electrocuted, it would feel like the LSD god would shoot electric jolts through my entire body punishing me for thinking something wrong.
I was thinking about waking someone up, but I would be scared this would bring me into a mental institution. I started to have all kinds of paranoid thoughts , "what if you could really get "stuck" on an LSD trip and be insane forever, I'd rather die then be like that for another day!"

It became unbearable, I got out of the shower and put on my clothes in great difficulty. Then I was just walking though the house hoping it would wear off, and every time I would see something morph I'd get more scared. I had probably ten different dialouges going on in my head always interrupting each other, I felt like I was what I'd imagine would be schizophrenic.

I really couldn't bear it anymore, but I had no benzodiazepines or barbiturates atm. I was so desperate for it to end that I started searching my room for the antipsychotic medications I still had somewhere. I HATE antipsychotics, they make me feel tired, depressed and kinda stiff, but at this point I didn't care. I tried to find the least bad antipsychotic which was difficult because I couldn't read anything. It took me several minutes to find the Olanzapine and took three tablets over the next 20 minutes. It made it somewhat bearable and after some time I could fall asleep.

When I woke up I checked the pencil marks I made on the walls and noticed that the pattern I was seeing was in fact following tiny imperfections on the paint I never noticed. Even the spot on my screen that looked like it was glowing was slightly discoloured which I never noticed, but thanks to the LSD I will never ever unnotice it.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113473
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Aug 31, 2019	Views: 2,877
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LSD (2), Pharms - Olanzapine (260) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Various (28)