Citation: Xorkoth. "For a First Trial, I'm Fairly Impressed: An Experience with Methoxpropamine (exp113723)". Erowid.org. Nov 25, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113723
3-MeO-2'-oxo-PCPr / MXPr - 22mg + 17mg orally
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:00
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 2:20
||Alcohol - Beer/Wine
For a First Trial, I'm Fairly Impressed
- Weighed out and ate 22mg. I meant to go for 20, but an extra 2mg came out so I went with it. I had an intense work day and feel rather aggravated about it. I meant to get to this trial earlier, about 6:00 at the latest. Oh well. The drug is a very fine white powder, with little to no smell, and a strange taste. Different batches of MXE I've had have tasted different, some salty, some more bitter... this tasted salty and almost kind of sour. It numbed my tongue a bit. I always preferred MXE orally, so I decided to go with oral for MXPr, too. Glad I did, as sublingual was my other choice, and it kind of feels like it might be caustic, not something to want to hold in your mouth. But then again, it may just have anesthetic properties.
I plan to just hang out, Bluelight, maybe watch some TV when this develops, and assess its properties in a lower dose setting. Just use it to relax after a long day, which is something I have always enjoyed lower doses of MXE for. I will save the seeking out of a powerful, hole-style experience for some later date.
Earlier today, about 10 hours ago, I took some noopept, but I doubt that would have any effect now as noopept only lasts a few hours. I mention it because nootropics are said to diminish the effects of dissociatives. I ate a light dinner about 45-60 minutes ago. Previous food in my stomach never seemed to affect MXE absorption too much, so I'm hoping the same holds true for MXPr. I've had no other drugs today besides a little caffeine when I woke up. I feel a little blah today, the days are rapidly getting shorter and this time of year always bugs me. I have had a light but persistent amount of anxiety all day and still do.
- I think these are the first alerts. A smoothness is descending on me, focused in the head. It's very mild right now and is reminiscent of the first touches of MXE. Faint tinnitus has begun, but just barely and not bothersome to me. I feel fully in control of my mental faculties still, and no loss of coordination. It's very mild at the moment.
- I feel nice. The smoothness has increased in strength, and feels somewhat like a warm blanket. I don't feel euphoric, but I do feel less anxious. I'd like it if I was doing this with a friend right now so I had someone to talk to, but it's fine being alone, too.
- It's been 50 minutes. It's definitely stronger but still pretty mild. I feel quite nice physically. I am able to type without difficulty. I just spent some time typing up a response in a thread to a question about uploading human consciousness into a computer, or the Internet. It was fulfilling to think through it, but somewhat harder to formulate my words. I just got up to pee, and I definitely feel a little tiny edge of wonkiness in my walking. I am able to move just fine, and walking is not difficult, but I do feel a little bit like a floating head. I'm trying to compare this feeling to MXE... with MXE, I feel more uplifted, as if there is a force under me lightly holding me up, feather-soft. MXPr seems a little less soft and I don't feel an upward, lifting direction, but rather a stationary or perhaps forward-moving energy. If that makes sense. I don't feel dumb or particularly sharp. I do feel very interested in thinking about things and putting words together. I think in a few minutes I am going to take 15mg more.
- Alright I ate 17mg more. The taste seems so familiar... but it's not the same as MXE's taste. It's sour and salty, but the bouquet in the mouth is of a hospital room or something. That doesn't quite get it right though. The taste is evoking something in my memory but I can't place it.
- Words are starting to flow less automatically, but still with relative ease. I am feeling a bit grandiose, in a nice way... I keep having little strings of thought such as "people overreact and make a big deal of every little thing famous people do because they're bored and it amuses them"... I think this is generally true but for a moment I felt like I had had some kind of revelation. Or is it just an obvious thing to say? Or is it nonsense? I'm settling on it being an easily-made observation about human behavior, but it's getting harder to tell if that's true. I don't think the first dose has fully set in yet, or at least, maybe it has, but the 17mg I recently ate definitely hasn't shown itself yet. So this could be quite interesting.
- Wow, the last 30 minutes flew by. I mostly spent them writing this post on Bluelight, in a thread about uploading human consciousness into the Internet to avoid death (writing slowly and thinking):
"I think that life is a vehicle for consciousness. At the core, the universe is experiencing everything all the time. Whenever new life is born, it becomes another frame of reference for the universe. Whenever a life dies, it is one less frame of reference. In your example of copying a person precisely, let's say I got copied. Both copies would identify as Xorkoth. If one died, the other would go on and identify as Xorkoth. If both lived, they'd both identify as Xorkoth, but over time they would probably deviate in how they changed based on their individual experiences. Each of them is the same awareness, but only aware of its own frame. I don't think consciousness ever disappears. We only have the illusion of separation.
It's hard to describe. I'm just drawing this from experiences I have had that were extremely compelling and felt more real than anything else has ever felt. I could be wrong. Maybe we each have a unique soul and we live like we are now once, and everything else is something else. Or maybe there is nothingness after death for each individual, except that makes even less sense to me. I think there is always awareness, and it is a property of the universe. It's not possible to fully grasp it, but when you're talking about the nature of consciousness, there are no easy answers.
Our language and patterns of thought are not equipped to really discuss this very well, but it's still one of my favorite things to think about and try to talk about.
Either way it's pretty amazing that billions and billions of atoms attached to each other in a system can have an experience, reflect on that experience, and wonder about why it's having that experience. There's some magic there of some sort. Why is there an experiencer, and not just a complex automaton reacting to environmental stimuli? Could you program a robot to react outwardly in all of the same ways, to the point that no one could determine whether it was a real person or not? And if you did, would it be conscious? Or just a robot? Would it be having an experience, or would it just appear to be having an experience?"
This sums up about where my thoughts are at. I have a very active mind right now. My coordination is pretty good, and my body feels nice. I feel less wonky than I remember MXE being at this dosage, more in control of myself. No one is here to talk to, but words are coming out of my fingers easily. The underlying anxiety I was feeling earlier is pretty much abolished. I feel quite content sitting here writing/reading. No desire for music, or to close my eyes, or watch TV. The above thoughts are far from new for me, but I feel like my mind is somewhat better able to wrap around the concepts, so it feels good to think about and articulate. I also feels good to post funny things, or read about interesting things. My mind feels like a sponge right now, deft and hungry for substance.
My mind feels like a sponge right now, deft and hungry for substance.
I didn't really notice a point at which the redose kicked in, it's just been a slow, smooth rise. I got up to pee again and walking is no harder. This seems less wonky than MXE, I feel very serene and collected. Of course I haven't dosed very high, really. My awareness is very gathered at my eyes and forehead, and a little at my mouth. I have little awareness of my legs, and yet they're working just fine.
- I just got worried about my cat, who I hadn't seen all day and barely yesterday. I found him and he was sitting where my girlfriend usually sits at night, looking forlornly at the spot. He's been sleeping all day in her spot on the bed. She's gone for a month or so (has been gone for like 4 days so far) and I just realized that he's gotten really, really close with her. Always before, he only cared about me, if I was there, he was happy. I was gone so much this summer and she was home, that I think he has flopped a little. He seems like he's really sad she's not here. It makes me feel a blend of emotions I want to figure out. It makes me feel happiness and love that he loves her (and she really loves him), and it makes me feel kind of sad that he had to deal with me being gone so much while I was on the road with my band. And it makes me feel kinda jealous, too, because he's always been my kitty, everyone always comments on how connected we are. And now it makes me miss my lovely girlfriend, too. Best change topics.
I find I want to delve deep into everything I think about. My brain feels expansive. And yet I feel grounded. I could see this being useful for therapy or mediating conflicts between people.
My brain feels expansive. And yet I feel grounded. I could see this being useful for therapy or mediating conflicts between people.
The wonkiness of dissociatives freaks some people out but I really feel pretty grounded. And yet my thoughts are going everywhere and there is no fear. I was reading another report that suggested this drug is more of a "holing" drug than MXE, but my experience so far is that it is less so, at this dose anyway. I've taken 39mg. Back in my MXE days, by now I'd be having a great time but things would be getting rather wonky. Words would be harder. I'd be feeling the MXE flow, where it seems like I can tell what is about to happen, where I throw a lighter to my friend because I know he wants one, and he turns around and catches it because he knew I knew he wanted one and that I was going to throw it. I am not feeling that, at this dose of MXPr. Though of course, there aren't any other humans around. On this dose of MXE I would feel more euphoric than I do now, and less able to function normally. But I really like what is happening right now.
- Just now a bit of downward pressure eased off and I feel lighter. And also possibly less high? It's hard to say because at this point I feel almost like I've taken a brain stimulant, my thoughts are really spinning around and going all over the place, but not in a confusing or jangly sort of way, it's just that everything I experience is making me think about a lot of other things. I'm enjoying it. I am wondering what a hole on this drug would be like. I don't feel sedated at all, although I don't feel stimulated either. It almost feels like I'm on a psychedelic, but different. I feel like I haven't reached critical mass for actual classical dissociative effects to really manifest yet, but I really like where I'm at. I feel quite in the moment, calm, collected, and curious. Also suddenly ravenously hungry.
- I feel like I passed through the peak, rather suddenly. In fact that was what the downward pressure easing off that I described in the last entry was, it was a specific moment, and noticeable. It was building, my thoughts were going farther and farther out, and now it feels like it's gently coasting down. A bit sooner than I expected. I guess I could be wrong but that's how it feels. I don't want to try to take this farther tonight, as I want to go to sleep at a reasonable hour, and my intent was only to dip my toes in. Eating is great, I reheated some pasta I made earlier and topped it with some stir-fried ground pork, corn and orange bell pepper. Really tasty and pleasant to eat. I cracked open a beer, too. This has been a nice cap on the end of the day. Work was really stressful, and right now I feel that stress lifted, I am comfortable, relaxed, enjoying myself. Probably gonna drink a couple of beers, Bluelight some more, and go watch TV with my poor sad kitty, depending on how I feel, either something about space, or something funny. I remember enjoying a bit of alcohol on MXE, so I'll see if it's the same with MXPr.
- The alcohol has definitely slowed my mind down, and actually brought back a little of the discomfort I was feeling before. I felt better before. Oh well. My sad kitty came to snuggle with me but I'm actually thinking about heading to the couch to watch some TV, I'm tired of typing.
The next day
Drinking that beer ended up making me feel listless. It took away the magic I felt, and made the blah feeling come back. I ended up watching several episodes of the Netflix show Disenchantment
, and snuggled with my cats, and texted with my girlfriend a bit, too. I fell asleep while watching it at around 1:00am (T+5:40). I woke up a few hours later and got in bed, and ended up rolling around, feeling restless. I did fall asleep and I had a few dreams I don't remember anymore, but it was a very light sleep and I spent a lot of time laying there shifting positions. This morning I feel fine, a little tired. I have a fair amount of work to do today, but I'm taking a little break right now to finish this report, put time stamps in, proofread, etc. I left my notes pretty much alone, as they communicate what I was feeling better without editing.
I liked this experience, for sure, but it was pretty mild. It definitely seemed less dissociative than the same dose of MXE.
It definitely seemed less dissociative than the same dose of MXE.
I hardly ever do dissociatives anymore so I know it's not a tolerance issue. Next time I will definitely go for a higher dose, or maybe try a different ROA. The come-up was a bit of a rush, similar to how MXE comes up. I had a wonderful thought amplification happening, and a lot of increased free association. I wanted to think deeply about everything, and I really enjoyed doing so. Physically I had a great body high, it was similar to MXE's but less sparkly, and a bit heavier. There was a sort of fuzziness in my forehead that I have not noticed from MXE. My ability to think clearly and linearly as well as physically function (typing, for example) was significantly more intact than an equivalent dose of MXE. My sense is that MXPr is both somewhat less potent than MXE, and perhaps a bit less dissociating in general. But it's hard to say for sure without further trials. There was definitely some euphoria, not as much euphoria as I experience with MXE, but it was a similar sort of feeling. During the rush and peak, I felt somewhat hypomanic, and I could see a higher dose producing substantially more euphoria and mania. I was feeling down and almost decided not to take it, but I felt great during the experience.
In comparison to MXE, it seems that it has a shorter duration, and at least at this dose, was not as good, but it was definitely good. This experience reminded me of MXE but was also notably different in several ways which I've already noted. The peak seemed to drop off quite suddenly, unlike the slow fade of MXE. Another way that it was different, at least this time, was that combining it with even a small amount of alcohol was not a positive experience, whereas with MXE, adding a bit of alcohol is very nice.
Overall, I am fairly impressed, but I need to try it at a higher dosage, and also try for a hole, to really say anything definitive about this drug. I will also note that it is possible the noopept I had in the morning affected this to some extent and made it less dissociative. It shouldn't have but I can't discount the possibility.
Stay safe everyone.
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