DOSE:	1 bowl	smoked	Cannabis
	16 mg	oral	4-AcO-DMT	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

220 lb

A little background before I get into this report. Back in 2016 I did psychedelics fairly frequently, usually every Saturday as part of a little ritual of self exploration. This particular experience I documented on my computer immediately after the trip occurred, and then subsequently forgot about it until several years later. I was considering publishing the original report in its poorly written entirety, however it’s scattered and unreadable for the most part. So this retelling will be a more legible and structurally sound form of the record I had already written, mixed in with some of the memories I still have of this experience.

It was a warm Saturday in April, not unseasonably warm but still enough so that you could walk outside without a jacket. I had been planning to do 4-AcO for about a week now, and I did not take this decision lightly. I had tried 4-AcO on several other occasions prior to this one, and virtually every time I had a terrible experience fraught with delusions, paranoia, and ego loss. Despite all the reasons not to continue my experimentation with this particular drug, I still decided to go ahead for two main reasons; the first being that I had previously purchased an enormous amount of 4-AcO a year ago and I just wasn’t going to let that purchase go to waste. The second being that despite my previous experiences, I felt as if I was now in a better mental and physical state to handle psychedelics. It was seven months since my last 4-AcO trip, and I felt ready to take on the challenge.

I chose to take 16 milligrams because it seemed like a good moderate-high level dose that I could handle. I measured the powder out as best I could, and mixed it into a bottle of water. I figured that if I drank the bottle slowly over a period of an hour, I would be able to make the come up a little less intense. I usually find the come up to be the most challenging part of any psychedelic experience, so anything I could do to ease that transition would be enormously helpful.

Before drinking my foul tasting mixture, I decided to smoke a bowl and do a little meditation to calm my nerves. At around 5:00pm, thirty minutes after I smoked, I felt ready enough to start drinking the concoction. I got my phone, put on some music, and set out for a walk with my bottle in hand.

It was a beautiful sunny day out and the walking conditions were excellent. I was enjoying my music, taking in the scenery, and taking slow small sips of my bottle filled with 4-AcO water. My walk was slightly marred by the amount of people on the sidewalk with me, and at a certain point I coulda sworn that a car was following me. To make matters worse, the car looked like an older police car and I became paranoid that I was going to be arrested on the spot. Thankfully, the car went on its way and nobody bothered me. During the walk, I didn’t really feel any noticeable effects from the drug, and by the time I got home half an hour later I had drunk around 2/5ths of the bottle.

When I arrived home I headed right into my room, and the second I sat down on my bed my chest became incredibly tight. I suddenly felt as if I was on the verge of a panic attack. To regain some semblance of normalcy I decided to turn on the TV, but it was impossible to focus. The character's faces on the screen kept warping to odd proportions, their dialogue didn't make any sense, it was like I was watching a foreign film about some undiscovered tribe. Still, I just sat there hoping the effects of the drug would subside eventually.

Once the show ended, it was clear to me that I was far too high to do anything normal. I decided I should just lean into it and hold on for the ride. I turned my music back on and layed back in my bed staring at the tapestry on my wall. The visuals I was having were animating the tapestry in a clockwork type motion; with every shape and pattern rotating slowly around the center, while growing and shrinking and sometimes leaking off the tapestry and onto the wall. It was hypnotizing, and I began to calm down. After some time, the tapestry morphed into a colorful eye similar to that of an Aztec mural. The eye stared at me and I stared back - it looked vaguely menacing, but I wasn't afraid of it. I decided to turn off my music to hear if it had anything to say, and it began talking to me.

The eye wasn’t speaking in an audible way, it was as if it was transmitting thoughts directly into my head. It told me that I was in control, that this was my trip and I shouldn’t be scared. As it was talking to me, the iris kept shifting and moving as if analyzing me. Despite its menacing appearance, it continued to say reassuring things, like that I'll be fine, and that I'm doing great. After listening to it's helpful words, I decided that it was right. I sat up, and got an incredible rush of euphoria, I felt amazing.

I had never had control like this before - I could make visuals stop and start at will and I was able to have completely coherent thoughts. I decided to drink some more of my concoction to enhance the trip.

Around 7:30pm, a little over two hours since the initial dose, I decided to eat some dinner and chat with my friend over the internet. I started typing everything that I was feeling, and even though he wasn't online I still typed. After a little bit I grew tired of talking to someone who wasn't there, and decided to take a break and just enjoy the visuals. By this point I had drank about 4/5th of the mug, and tripping quite hard. I just laid back and stared at my tapestry again, I didn't see the eye like I saw before - I just saw the tapestry's patterns begin to spread all over my walls. Eventually, every surface in my field of vision was covered with the surreal geometrical pattern displayed on my tapestry. After staring at this psychedelic scene for some time, I wanted to know what kind of closed eye visuals I could see. So I took off my glasses and closed my eyes.

With my eyes shut, it looked as if I was going down a long tube filled with electricity and vibrant colors. I felt myself being taken apart and re-arranged, traveling across vast distances of space and time. I didn't know where I was going or why, but eventually I slowed down and looked up to see a massive being hovering over me. The entity was translucent and shimmering like a soap bubble floating in front of the sun. It appeared as if it had four infinitely long legs and two infinitely long antenna. The entity looked at me and proceeded to explain to me that I had wandered into a vast interstellar transportation network and I could go anywhere I wanted. I was told that advanced civilizations use this system of tubes to traverse the universe in virtually no time at all. He was the sole curator of this transportation system, and he enjoyed his work.

Presented with the opportunity to go anywhere, I decided to go to Jupiter. In an instant I was floating above the planet in a translucent bubble. Protected from the harmful solar radiation and lack of atmosphere, it was magnificent. I recalled that I read somewhere that a moon of Jupiter, Europa, had life - and I wanted to see if that was true. I asked to be taken to the inside of the moon, and suddenly I was there. It was dark and cold, and I could hear the eerie sounds of undersea life. A high pitched moan echoed through the freezing darkness.

At this moment I felt myself slipping from reality, as if I was melting into the scenery and would never come back together again. I convinced myself that if I didn't open my eyes, I would end up stranded and would die on this alien world, so I opened my eyes.

It was incredibly dark in my room, other than the light from my computer monitor which vibrated and morphed slowly in the dim light. In the background I could hear the large interstellar entity humming and going about his business. I attempted to talk to my online friend again, but was having an extremely difficult time as all the keys on my keyboard morphed into unrecognizable symbols. After some frustration, I turned off my monitor and layed back down. Suddenly, I was back floating over Jupiter with that same eerie feeling of ego dissolution. I tried to relax, but I couldn’t take the intensity of the feeling so I just hopped back on the computer.

This pattern of going back and forth between dissolution and typing nonsense on my computer continued for several hours, in a seemingly infinite loop. I had extreme trouble focusing and staying grounded, my mind was trying to fall apart and stick together at the same time - it was too much for me to handle. Around 3am, after many hours of confusion and restlessness, I tried to fall asleep. However, whenever I closed my eyes, all I saw was a giant native American-esque mural of neon flashing color which made it challenging to sleep. Another obstacle I had to overcome was the looping mechanical sounds I couldn’t stop hearing. Sounds like a large air conditioner, or beeping, or whistling; they were repeating indefinitely and keeping me wide awake. Despite these hurdles, I was eventually able to fall into a terrible and anxious sleep.

My dreams were fraught with strange visions akin to a psychedelic hell, filled with immense violence and fractal warfare (whatever that means) and when I woke up the next morning I felt as if I hadn't slept at all. My brain felt like a fried egg just sloshing around in my head. I had terrible dry mouth and my jaw was aching - I later realized that I must have been clenching it for the majority of the trip.

Overall, this was one of the most intense, interesting, and confusing trips I've ever had. Even now, looking back on it all these years later, I still don't know what to make of it . However, I don’t see it as a bad experience and I know that in the moment I enjoyed it for the most part. I haven’t done 4-AcO since then, and I probably won't in the future. All of my experiences with this drug have been strange, unpredictable, and rarely pleasant.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 113887
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Jan 19, 2020	Views: 940
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4-AcO-DMT (387) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Various (28)