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The Exorcism
by CosmicBrownie
Citation:   CosmicBrownie. "The Exorcism: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp113935)". Feb 11, 2020.

T+ 0:00
15 - 20 mg oral 4-AcO-DMT (powder / crystals)
  T+ 1:45   oral Ginger (edible / food)


Background Information:

Looking to expand on my consciousness and psychedelic experiences with different chemicals; I knew I wanted to try out psilocybin/psilocin and sought out 4-AcO-DMT as a seemingly preferable alternative to mushrooms. Despite having no prior experience with psilocybin or mushrooms, I decided to try 4-AcO-DMT first because it was a pro-drug of psilocin that was reported to have less nausea and could be more conveniently stored for an indefinite amount of time. Having a milligram scale, I was also (mostly) confident that Iíd be able to make accurate doses when compared to the uncertainty with various batches/strains of mushrooms. Aside from lots of cannabis, my prior experience with psychedelics consisted of a handful of trips before with varying doses of LSD and DMT. I certainly had difficult trips before, but I still look back on each of them as invaluable and powerfully beneficial in hindsight.

Day of experience:

Set: Although I had a little hesitation, I generally do with any substance because I am aware of their profound capabilities to defy any expectations/mindsets has. Aside from that in the back of my head, I was prepared days before to trip and felt I was in the right mindset.

Setting: Comfortable, safe, and personal environment. Bedroom, Desk/Computer

Attempting to weigh out something between 15mg - 20mg, I was getting readings that could have been 1-2mg off in either direction but ended up with approximately 18mg of 4-AcO-DMT fumarate which I then transferred into an empty capsule and consumed with a glass of water.

T+0: Swallowed capsule containing the 4-AcO-DMT fumarate with some water sitting at my computer desk listening to some music. I hadnít eaten anything prior that morning.

T+0:10 Beginning to feel anxious, ready to trip and waiting to get past the come up but not feeling any effects yet.

T+0:20 Starting to feel first symptoms of nausea; body load is becoming more prominent but I am not tripping yet.

T+0:25 Headspace beginning to shift, stomach feels like itís being pulled or lifted up only to be dropped back down. My body slowly begins to feel heavier, gravity seems to be more apparent.

T+0:30 Starting to feel this incredibly strange psychedelic presence eerily similar to sub-breakthrough DMT. Everything seems to miss a beat metaphorically, colors are getting more vibrant, beginning to trip. I resume the music on a lower volume.

T+0:35 Nausea has become unbearable
T+0:35 Nausea has become unbearable
, I get up from my desk and sink down into my bed. I feel as if my heart rate is raising, I go under the covers and start shivering uncontrollably.

T+0:40 Something definitely doesnít feel right, I keep twisting and turning in my bed unable to escape the pain/nausea. I am unable to breathe calmly, I cannot stay still. Although I had experienced nausea on the come-up of LSD once before, this was on levels beyond what I had expected. I feel this negative presence inside me and around me grow stronger and stronger. I am panicking, unable to control my mind or body, my trip is turning bad... I keep breathing in deep trying to calm myself but cannot escape the discomfort. I worry about the strain being put on my body, I don't know whether or not I will come out of this experience healthy. I reconsider all my decisions now and feel tremendous regret in taking the substance and everything else before it. (At the time at least.)

T+0:45 I cannot focus on anything but the nausea I am experiencing. I am seeing my surroundings differently but am unable to focus on them or describe them. They are also giving off a negative presence, I become more frightened, still shaking/shivering trying to calm down. I would see "dark" imagery in my periphery but couldnít focus on anything at this point because I felt as if I was losing my mind and my body was in severe distress. After this point, I was unable to write down for a bit of time. In hindsight, the visuals were likely there in some but they were not at all pleasant and inconsequential compared to what I was going through. At this point I couldnít wait until the trip would end. There was no deep/insightful internal dialogue going on, the only things that were going through my mind were this negative presence and thought loops about telling myself I would be okay, waiting for the trip to end although part of me worried it would never end and I would either be stuck like this or die. I stayed in this agonizing state for an hour that felt like an eternity.

T+1:30 Feeling as if I had nowhere else I could go, I knew that calling for help would only be detrimental, so I gathered up the strength to walk to the bathroom to use the toilet. Once there I sit and continue contemplating my decisions, still in agony. I feel as though I'm peaking but am miserable, unable to focus on anything for more than a few moments. I was having severe nausea/diarrhea and oh boy did I regret every second of it.

T+1:45 In a brief moment of relief, I go to the fridge and grab a piece of ginger which I struggle to get down in hopes that it will help with improve my symptoms for the rest of the trip. I go back to the toilet and continue my purge until I felt I had been cleansed/relieved. Sitting there, the shower curtains appear to breathe in and out, the tree outside seemed to be approaching me, every branch seems intricate like a spider web.

T+2:05 I get a break from the nausea and resume writing my trip report in my bedroom. It was so unexpected, only now was I able to begin enjoying the trip. Now that I am able to feel the pleasant effects, I describe it as mildly stoning, sedating, blissful, and very relaxing.
Now that I am able to feel the pleasant effects, I describe it as mildly stoning, sedating, blissful, and very relaxing.
I begin laughing at how absurd this is, feeling any bit better was something that seemed unheard of just a few minutes ago yet here I am doing great.

T+2:10 Nausea appears to be mostly gone, I feel at peace/content as I gather some more clarity. I continue listening to music now on my headphones and shift back into a blissful headspace. Like my experiences with LSD, although I knew I was tripping, my mind felt more sober than ever in a sense.

T+2:45 I am still enjoying my trip now, I try to avoid getting too excited at any point to avoid startling my body again. Visuals are mostly gone to my senses but the body euphoria is still strong. Feeling like I could eat something now, I decide to slowly eat a small muffin.

T+3:10 Around this time I begin to feel nauseous and fearful again. I start moving uncontrollably; I thought that I was done with this yet here I was again. My headspace begins to become more negative although not as bad as initially. I knew that the worst was over and headed back to the bathroom once more and attempted to vomit but was unable to.

T+3:20 I feel as if I am starting to trip harder again, I look into the mirror and see my pupils fully dilated. Perhaps this was just because the nausea/body load? Iíd say the nausea is at a level 5 compared to previously being at what felt like 10.

T+4:00 The nausea stayed after the last visit to the bathroom for the remainder of the trip but lessened in intensity as well to about a 2 at the end of the day. I feel an afterglow but am still shook and disappointed that I wasnít able to end off on a positive note.

Following the trip later that night, I felt like my mind, body, and heart had been put through a lot of unnecessary trauma/stress and a mild nausea persisted with an afterglow muddied by terror. I would absolutely say that this was a bad trip despite feeling some positive effects. I donít plan on tripping with the remainder of the chemical until/if I feel compelled again in the future. When it comes to whether or not I would try 4-AcO-DMT again, I am hesitant to say say I would but I also donít want to dismiss the substance based on one experience alone. Was this an allergic reaction to the substance? Was this possibly due to other circumstances like food poisoning? Had I not gotten a glimpse of what I could experience that's valuable from the chemical, I donít think I would have ever touched it again.

At the end of the day, I feel that LSD has been better for my health/wellbeing/goals and I intend to further explore with lysergamides before revisiting this chemical and other tryptamines.

Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 113935
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 25 
Published: Feb 11, 2020Views: 1,541
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4-AcO-DMT (387) : First Times (2), Personal Preparation (45), Bad Trips (6), Alone (16)

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