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Mt. Nembutal
Pentobarbital
by honeybuns
Citation:   honeybuns. "Mt. Nembutal: An Experience with Pentobarbital (exp114150)". Erowid.org. Apr 6, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114150

 
DOSE:
100 - 120 mg oral Pharms - Pentobarbital
  30 mg insufflated Pharms - Pentobarbital

BODY WEIGHT: 128 lb


Insomnia has plagued me my entire life. It started when I was 13. Puberty kicked in, and one night I just stopped sleeping. Throughout high school I tried many remedies: magnesium, melatonin, chloral hydrate, alcohol, Sonata, Ativan, Xanax, and Ambien. None really gave me extended relief. For a short time, I dabbled with uppers and hallucinogens, but because they interfered with my sleep, my tenure was short. Now, at the age of 18, my insomnia has really come to a head. My doctor, an old geezer, is sympathetic. He is at least 70 years old, which means he began practicing medicine in the 1950s, back when barbiturates were considered tasteful. Itís 2001, and despite 50 years of evolving prescribing practices, he remains a purist as he hands me a script for something Iíve never heard of. I fumble trying to pronounce the lettersÖ Nem-bu-tal. Nembutal. Wtf is Nembutal, I ask myself? My doctor says the generic, pentobarbital, might be cheaper. Thinking nothing of it, I go on with my day.

I take the script to my local pharmacy and hand it to the pharmacist. He reads it over, and he looks uneasy.
I take the script to my local pharmacy and hand it to the pharmacist. He reads it over, and he looks uneasy.
He looks back down at me. "Your doctor prescribed you this?", trying to not sound interrogatory but failing miserably. I shrug and give an expression as if to say Ďdonít look at me, I just work hereí. I havenít filled this medication in 20 years, he says. He turns me away.

I get home and break out the yellow pages and look up every pharmacy in the metro area. One by one I start calling. Do you carry Nembutal, my tone carefully crafted as to not sound too eager? That medication was discontinued in 1999, says the pharmacist. Mystique is in the air. I look at my unfilled script: am I sitting on a gold mine? I call more pharmacies but get more of the same: no. What about pentobarbital, do you carry that? Sorry, no. Iím almost defeated as I call one of the last numbers in the yellow pages, and again ask if they carry Nembutal. Iím going to put you on hold while I check, says the pharmacist. Iíve been here before; I already know what sheís going to say. My inner monologue reassures me: at least you tried. Iím just shy of conceding when the pharmacist returns on the phone: yes, we have it in stock. Pure elation. Without giving her space to say anything else I tell her Iím on my way to pick it up. Iím not taking any chances; this could literally be the last bottle of Nembutal in the state of Colorado.

I get there. The pharmacist says it will take 30 minutes to fill. Wanna come back, she asks? Iíll wait. Time slows down, and minutes begin to feel like hours. After what feels like eternity, she returns. I pay and she hands me my Nembutal. Iím about to burst. Not wanting to look like a drug addict, I casually walk away, but as soon Iím out of her line of sight I dart to my car. Even though I havenít the faintest idea what Nembutal is, I know I made the score of a lifetime. I rip open the bag. The bottle reads: Nembutal sodium, 100mg, qty 30, yellow capsules. Iím sober today, but now Iím ready to be unsober.

I arrive home, and I donít waste any time. Experience tells me to take this medication on an empty stomach, and so I do - down the hatch! Ten minutes goes by and I begin to feel it, and man, does it feel good. A wave of euphoria hits me, not unlike being slapped by Ativan. I know Ativan well. Iíve taken it off and on for 2 years. But if Ativan slaps my gaba receptors, then Nembutal is a straight jab. The rush lasts a good 20 minutes, and now that it has faded I feel drunk. Iím relishing in this drunken euphoria that is strikingly similar to GHB, but toned down a notch. Better yet, if there was a common ground between Ativan and GHB, itís Nembutal - the Goldie Locs of gaba: not too strong, not too weak, but just right. Everything is just all-around awesome, and to punctuate this feeling I pull out ĎThe Talented Mr. Ripelyí from my extensive VHS library - my go-to movie when Iím high and alone. I press play. Everything feels perfect inside me as I watch Matt Damon fall into oblivion. I too am falling into oblivion. Iím out cold before the movie is over, and itís the kind of sleep Iíve been chasing the past five yearsÖ deep.

The next day I invite my friend over; I wanna keep a good thing going! I empty out three yellow capsules onto the kitchen counter. My friend and I smudge our fingers in the 300mg mountain of Nembutal powder and lick them clean. My friend and I are all grins as the GHB-esque high blankets our bodies and minds. 30 minutes later, and Mt. Nembutal is almost depleted. I roll up a twenty-dollar bill sniffing up the remainder into nose. Damn thatís sweet. Once again, I feel drunk. The next few weeks are more of the same, and Iím hoping this lasts forever, but Ė like with all gaba drug Ė Iím learning thereís a fine line between being high and being in a stupor.

I fly to New York for my sisterís graduation. Itís hard to say what happens next because itís an empty space. For three days Iím at her graduation celebration. I come home groggy and slightly unaware that I left town to begin with. The fog is fading and my mom is lecturing me about how high I was at my sisterís graduation. She disciplines me: I threw away the rest of that crap you were taking. Oh, mom you didnít. She has no idea what I had to go through to get that medication. Because she can tell Iím not convinced, she shows me pictures from the graduation ceremony. I look at them. Sure enough, there I am standing next to my family, looking sluggish. Even though the mood is now somber, Iím amused because not even these colorful images are helping me recall a single frame of memory from the graduation ceremonyÖ oh, drugs. I chuckle. 20 years later Iím still resentful at her because I know I will never again taste that sweet nectar called pentobarbital.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 114150
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: Apr 6, 2020Views: 1,324
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Pharms - Pentobarbital (815) : Various (28), Multi-Day Experience (13), Medical Use (47), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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