Heaven and Hell, a Dance Between Worlds
by Blicerow
Citation:   Blicerow. "Heaven and Hell, a Dance Between Worlds: An Experience with 1P-LSD & DPT (exp114174)". Erowid.org. Mar 25, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114174

250 mg oral 1P-LSD
  100 mg insufflated DPT


[Erowid Note: The term "acid" has been used as a common name for d-LSD since the 1960s. Although confusion associated with newer psychoactive substances has lead some people to use the term "acid" to refer to anything LSD-like or anything psychedelic on blotter or sold in drops, we believe this represents an error and not a useful evolution in language.]

During the years I experienced with various substances, mostly psychedelics (mescaline, lysergiamides, tryptamines etc), dissociatives (from diphenidine to o pce and everything in between and beyond) and narcotics (smack, methadone and opium) but never ever I deemed my experiences worthy of being written here. This until last...

Saturday; 29/2/2020.
So I am a 26 years old researcher who was about to attend his PhD proclamation the next Tuesday. I was comprehensibly agitated. Not to mention I had just come back home from abroad to discuss the aforementioned thesis, still resenting and questioning my choice of moving abroad. I wanted to cram as many experiences with substances as I could before leaving again. On the other hand I didnít want to binge nor risk of increasing tolerance to psychedelics and decreasing the effects of my favorite substances: LSD and DPT. So I basically compelled my girlfriend to remain home and stay with me and drop half a tab (100 mcg 1P-LSD per tab). I dropped the remaining half with other two.

The first hour was the usual frustrating wait for the come up. We put on South Park and started jiggling and laughing while after an hour everything started to swirl and being covered with floreal/Mandelbrot like patterns. But that was not enough for me. In fact I already prepared before the come up 100 mg of DPT thoroughly weighted (I repeated the operation two times). My girlfriend looked at me with sheer terror in her eyes as I told her I was going to insufflate that line. Also since I planned going outside in the next two hours I decided that peaking simultaneously on acid and DPT was something I could handle and didnít need waiting for the acid to come down.

30 minutes after the insufflation I was laying in my bed. I could see with closed eyes my girlfriend caressing my left hand while I told her continuously how lucky and happy I was and how much I loved her. I could see with eye closed more frames of her crying pleased, each frame embellished by fractals. I also saw a lion into the center of a peace symbol which shifted colours continuously. CEV and OEV fused together and I was flying in this netherrealm of pure bliss. I said to myself ďI am 26 and have reached already the nirvana, the apex. I am content with my psychonaut goals so farĒ. Then my girlfriend left the room to smoke a cigarette. And this is were everything went terribly wrong. Chants repeating the mantra ďI am god and god is in meĒ echoed in my mind to the point I eventually convinced myself I was god and this was a test for me to prove myself I was god. Should have mentioned before I have a diagnosed O.C.D. so tests are like my bigger fears. After I saw a biblical angel (a flaming ring of eyes) I convinced myself my girlfriend was responsible for that loop and that she was testing me because I decided to make her an instrument of my will. If this makes any sense, I cannot explain this any better.

She smoked the cigarette in five minutes, normally I hate this being a non smoker because she really seems to need a lot of time to do that. But in this special occasion I believed time stopped and that whatever I did, I would have gone back to that moment. So when she came back inside I started to ask her to call the ambulance. The serotoninergic transmission was fucked up and I moved frantically to the point I hit her chin with my clenched fist. From this moment I totally lost any grip with reality. I have seen in a second a thousand lives, each time I died and went back into my living room. I saw myself stabbing her after she cheated on me (which I would never do even if it actually happened), my father coming home and shotgunning me while blood described erratic circles in the air and an ambulance carrying me to a hospital in flames. I saw hell on the ceiling and entities smiling and writhing, still believing this was a test I made myself for myself to prove I was god.
I saw hell on the ceiling and entities smiling and writhing, still believing this was a test I made myself for myself to prove I was god.
I felt immortal and invincible but scared because in my mind the duty of god was to live every possible reality forever for his creatures to keep on living. I wanted someone to release me from this burden because I didnít want to live realities where I killed my girlfriend.

She didnít call an ambulance and locked me in after I dropped a coca cola bottle on the floor blabbering something about Christ on Golgotha drinking vinegar. Sometimes she had to open the door of my room because I was going to break them thinking I could open them with ease being god. After I saw her I realized (mind I use this term ironically) we were yin and yang and I could not kill her. So I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife she took away from my hands cause I wanted to be sure it was not smeared with blood and I hadnít killed my yin. Then again on the bed looking at engines spinning, and Mandelbrot fractals becoming faces of friends of mine. She eventually decided after I tried to strangle myself with car keys lace (which I saw as a garland) to bring me outside for a walk. She ringed my father told him everything (he knew already I was on acid but could not imagine this mess) and I pissed myself in front of the neighbour who was walking his dog while repeating to him, ďA test, I am god god!Ē.

Well thankfully my beloving half explained everything on my behalf, walked me back home and cleaned me. We eventually managed to step outside and once I got back in myself I started crying out of shame. SoÖ I know this all is rambunctious and weird. I tasted heaven and hell and saw how much my girlfriend loves me. This is a cautionary tale. I donít think doses were the real issue (even though I would never do this again without a very experienced trip sitter), set and setting were. Plus some substances like dissociatives of tryptamines just want you to be focused on them. Engorgement. Never try to walk or move is a golden rule. Thatís a cautionary tale for you and a memento for myself that I am not invincible and that sometimes less is definitely better. I was luckyÖ.

Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 114174
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 26 
Published: Mar 25, 2020Views: 455
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1P-LSD (682) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)

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