DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:00	160 mg	oral	Caffeine
T+ 16:00	5 mg	oral	Pharms - Zolpidem

BODY WEIGHT:

250 lb

It was 1430. I had undone the snug little folding of aluminum and lifted the tiny piece of paper into my mouth. Within an hour the drug began to take hold.

All went well for the first half, about as well as one could expect from such a drug. I had been in awe of my ceiling tile, which had gone through some wear through the years. The cracks in them extended out like rapidly growing mycelium, or a ribbon worm shooting its web. The sight was so vivid, I was expecting these veinous patterns to melt right off the ceiling and drip into my lap. How disgusting that would have been. My phone buzzed, and I looked at it for a second, but in my peripheral vision I spotted my cast iron radiator. Upon inspection it had a very sleek and colorful sheen, that of oil leaking from a car into a puddle of water. I was expecting this to melt right into the carpet as well, like the T-1000 from Terminator 2. That would have been badass.

My friend messaged me to ask how my trip was going. I gave him a halfhearted response and watched him finish up his playthrough of "A Hat In Time", which I thought would have been awesome to see. Despite all the amazing colors and visuals happening on my screen, I was too entranced by, to a sober mind, much more mundane things. Very mundane things such as ink pens, my curtains and a plastic water bottle proved much more interesting than the oversaturated cacophony of colors and sparkles. Strange, right? You'd think the game would be much more interesting, but it was hard to focus on it. Some time later, I found myself holding a napkin for whatever reason. With one hand, I lifted this translucent piece of paper up to the sunlight, which had been beaming through my wonderful golden orange "double helix" curtains. With the other, I made shadowpuppets behind the napkin. Yawning cats, barking dogs, and pissed off goats came alive right before my eyes. My hand began to make more abstract and elaborate shapes, resembling Eldritch creatures born of worms, tentacles and the like. In retrospect, this little bout may have been a subconscious foreshadowing of what was to come of the trip.

I went downstairs to use the bathroom and was in complete awe of the sounds of my house's plumbing. Flushing the toilet was such an amazing experience I decided to add to my water bill just to hear it again. I looked into the mirror and thought to myself "damn I'm handsome" as my face warped and contorted like a mini funhouse mirror.

Like I had said previously, this all went well for roughly half the trip. About 8 hours of fun time was had, but past that point I began to feel a creeping existential dread. Horrible thoughts and images entered my mind. I decided to stop what I was doing and lay down and close my eyes in silent darkness. This didn't really help, so much as it amplified what I was experiencing.

Unimaginable streaks of gore and violence entered my mind and I could not escape it. I had felt true cosmic terror, and existential dread. From here on, until I fell asleep, I was no longer me, but a tiny person in my skull watching the inner workings of my mind. Conversations I had with friends and acquaintances vividly played out on a screen in my head while all these disturbing visuals were happening in the background. Repeating bits of music I very much enjoy played in my head just, but at a lower pitch and slower tempo. The music flowed on, and eventually began to play backwards. Despite all the "training" I had done, there were times almost nothing could convince me that I wasn't going crazy. I genuinely thought I was developing psychosis or schizophrenia, or mania.

I began to experience the sensation of vasoconstriction. My legs became restless, and I had an indescribable feeling in my chest that resonated down to my groin. Interestingly, my heart rate was steady the whole time. It later occurred to me that the vasoconstriction may have caused by ingesting caffeine during the trip. Never in my 8 trips have I experienced vasoconstriction, but then again, I never mix drugs unless it's cannabis with caffeine. This night was an exception.

At this point, the open eyed visuals subsided, but the closed eye visuals and mentality did not. At the time I thought that this was not actually LSD, but some unknown research chemical such as DOx, or nBOME. Surely this couldn't be the case, as I was in the room with my friend as he reagent tested his haul from the very same sheet I clipped mine off of.

The trip lasted for about 16 hours in total. At the end, around 0630, I took an Ambien so I could catch up on some sleep and end this waking nightmare. Just before I slipped into unconsciousness, I had a "vision" of myself in some primordial womb. I was entrapped by glossy cells of flesh, best comparable to an acrylic pour painting. I felt almost like the Starchild from 2001 A Space Odyssey. This is the last of what I remember.

Did all of this happen, or was it just in my head? Suffice to say, it was all in my head, not counting the vasoconstriction. I'm fine now, I woke up feeling refreshed and energetic. I don't have psychosis, and I'm mentally stable. So what was up with that fucked up trip? How can a person go from serenity to mania with the snap of a finger? We just don't know.

I will spare the details of my personal revelations during this trip, but I will say that I had learned a lot about myself, my upbringing, and how I interact with those around me. At the very least, I gained some insight into what real mental illness may feel like.

I should note that I have experienced eye floaters all of my life. Whenever I trip, these become accentuated and very distracting, especially if looking at the sky or a solid color. Little bits of my eye will dance around the text of books and of my computer monitor, leaving mini tracers. It's all very dazzling until the drug wears off and I notice them in my regular life for a couple of weeks. I think that's actually the worst part of tripping, having to deal with this stupid floater bullshit. (Yes, even including this trip.)

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114409
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 8, 2020	Views: 1,002
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