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Apathy Hell
Ketamine & Kratom
Citation:   Kratomine. "Apathy Hell: An Experience with Ketamine & Kratom (exp114588)". Erowid.org. Jul 21, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114588

 
DOSE:
6 - 8 g oral Kratom (ground / crushed)
    repeated insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 70 kg
This is a report of my worst experience with ketamine ( + kratom) and generally one of my worst drug experiences. Let it be known I’ve had plenty of great experiences with ketamine and most of this awful experience is thanks to the set and setting, and my physical state. My background is that I’m experienced with all kinds of drugs including psychedelics and have done ketamine plenty of times before, which is why I was so overconfident.

Basically the set/setting is as follows; I had had a pretty shitty few days and was feeling all over the place. For some stupid reason I thought I would self-medicate with ketamine, as it’s been shown to be effective as a fast acting antidepressant. Now even though this is true and I have a lot of respect for it as a therapeutic substance, my use was not therapeutic and more a case of trying to drown away my sorrows in drugs.

I’m a daily user of kratom, and have noticed before that the combination of kratom does not synergize well
I’m a daily user of kratom, and have noticed before that the combination of kratom does not synergize well
, and always just makes me feel a little weird. However, I was desperate to get some kind of feelgood high, so I took more kratom than I usually do, I took about 6-8 grams at once. After that I started bumping ketamine, I honestly have no clue how much I took exactly. At first I actually felt pretty good and interesting. Than everything got a little intense, I couldn’t keep myself entertained with anything so I started listening to music, which is normally a blast on ketamine. However (I think because of the kratom, which always diminishes pleasure in music for me) it all just sounded really weird and bad. Everything sounded too slow, too fast, too sharp and kind of distorted.

I was dissociated but not at all euphoric or stimulated, I also didn’t feel relaxed or sleepy at all. I just felt an extreme sense of sensory overload. I also hadn’t eaten in a while, so slowly during this state I started becoming a little hungry and nauseas, which made me afraid to move because I didn’t want to vomit (have kind of a fear of it) so I didn’t get anything to eat.

The following hours I just felt a total sense of dissociation, apathy and basically depression. Nothing interested me, I had no sense of humor, music sounded like shit, I just lied there. Everything was so meaningless to me that a few hours passed like it was nothing, but not in the sense of “time flies when you’re having fun”. I was basically so entranced with apathy, sadness, regret and random waves of anxiety that I stopped paying attention to my surroundings or the passing of time. It was truly awful, and slowly but surely when the nausea started to pass and I started sobering up a little, I started feeling relief slowly. I got something to eat, which helped a little but I couldn’t eat much because of the nausea. I still felt extremely bored and apathetic, and couldn’t keep myself entertained. Only a few hours later when I was totally sober, did I feel okay again. I ate a meal and went to bed afterwards.

The next day I felt kind of reborn, and strangely I do feel a sense that the ketamine changed my mood a lot. The experience itself however was a little traumatizing, and I don’t look at ketamine or kratom in the same way anymore. Like I mentioned earlier, my earlier combinations of the two always felt off and didn’t synergize well, but it never turned into a ‘bad trip’ situation like this. Basically I feel like the two remove each other’s positive effects; the stimulation and enhanced appreciation of my surroundings that I get from ketamine are diminished with the kratom, and the relaxation and sense of familiar comfort from kratom are diminished by the ketamine. On top of that, the combination triggers nausea for me every time. So basically, I’m never combining them again and can’t recommend anyone else to combine them either.

Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 114588
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jul 21, 2020Views: 4,064
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Ketamine (31), Kratom (203) : Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3), Alone (16)

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