DOSE:

oral

Kratom

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

I've been using kratom now for 5 years. Starting in 2015 when I ordered a bag of white Sumatra more or less on a whim after skimming a little info. What I basically knew at the time was that a) it was a mild stimulant related to the coffee plant b) it was legal.

No biggie I thought. I was tiring a little of weed at the time, so kratom seemed like an interesting new substance to investigate. The first couple of times I brewed a tea from the powder and didn't feel much. It wasn't before the third time, when I mixed a heaped tablespoon of the stuff in with a strawberry milkshake that it really hit me. I set off on my bike and didn't return till late in the day. Hardly even broke a sweat. The mind high was calm but focused with any stress and worry seamlessly taking a back seat to a wide open feeling of general pleasantness.

The body high was great and felt tailor made for exercising; endless energy with an edge like when I've had a little too much caffeine or sugar (later found this was absent in lower doses). My body felt light and relaxed, yet poised and strong.

From then on I tried different strains and quickly started using more regularly: Chores around the house, gardening etc.? A little kratom will make it all the more fun! And so on until I was eating around 3 teaspoons of it a day. Then one day, feeling especially tense and restless, I felt I needed to take a break. I skipped my evening portion and was fine until bedtime: I wasn't tired at all but filled with a unnatural, agitated kind of energy. I would manage to doze off and get 10 minutes of what felt like decent, deep sleep, before being wide awake again. Restless leg syndrome set in while the ebb and flow of energy only grew. I dosed with some red Malay that night just to get some sleep.

The next morning I was groggy and felt defeated; I was now addicted to the stuff. This was when I started reading what I should have read in the first place. That yes, kratom is in fact quite addictive. I read with horror of people comparing the withdrawals to that of potent opiates and nodded in resigned agreement at many of the symptoms of which I had experienced the previous night.

But did I take heed and quit? Nope. The honeymoon period was over though, I knew that much. I still had good times with kratom, but managing to hit that sweet spot was becoming increasingly difficult and seemed hinged on so many variables; diet, mood, sleep, dosage, expectations etc. Though what it boiled down to was the fact that I'd reached a tolerance and knew that simply upping the dosage wouldn't help, but only leave me unfulfilled and jittery. I tapered a little, started smoking weed again to fill the gaps, even went cold turkey for a month.

For the last year I've been eating 1-2 teaspoons a day and am more mindful with regard to strains and timing of dosages. I rarely if ever experience any kind of energy boost, but it does aid my overall mood and outlook on life, and helps counter my natural tendencies towards introvertedness, depression, overthinking etc. When I'm on kratom I never feel like drinking and doesn't seem to mesh very well at all with alcohol the few times I've mixed the two. Once every month or so I'll reach a kind of saturation point and taper down. The greens and whites seem to cause more severere withdrawals so during tapering time I only use milder, red veins.

It's an interesting plant but like so many things it has a dark side. You can succumb to it, defeat it or try by trial and error to strike a healthy balance with the stuff.

Exp Year: 2015-2020	ExpID: 114720
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: Sep 17, 2020	Views: 5,080
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Kratom (203) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Retrospective / Summary (11), Alone (16)