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I Never Felt High Just Normal
Ketamine
Citation:   Greatfulguy. "I Never Felt High Just Normal: An Experience with Ketamine (exp114722)". Erowid.org. Sep 16, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114722

 
DOSE:
70 mg IV Ketamine (liquid)
BODY WEIGHT: 190 lb
Ketamine Clinic Experience for PTSD

I'm a high functioning patient with PTSD from sexual abuse as a child. I actually became a doctor but struggled with PTSD for 35 years before finally becoming aware that I had a problem and finally getting help. I started with psychotherapy then cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapy and both helped ALOT but I still struggled with the emotions of others in interpersonal relationships which set off my amygdala. I needed more help and never liked the usual SSRIs etc which didnít make me feel any better. The biggest problem I have is confrontations and emotions trigger me. With psychotherapy I was able to control my reactions somewhat better but some things still trigger me without warning.

Iíll skip to the chase now. I walked into the second ketamine infusion (first being a very low dose to see how I would react) feeling triggered by a recent argument ruminating over and over again about details of the argument unable to break free from that funk. In a snap of a finger just like the first infusion I broke free from it and that alone made me feel euphoric. There was no opioid-like euphoria just a feeling of weight being lifted off my shoulders and immense amount of clarity came over me. I did not stop thinking about how much I love my wife and kids for two hours although it felt like five minutes. I never felt high just normal and for me after being dragged down for 30+ yrs with at rooms of PTSD this felt more than fantastic. It felt like I was the person I could have been and should be. I noticed that at the same time I began feeling this incredible introspection and clarity I also became aphasic and unable to speak the thoughts I was thinking when the doc checked on me. And this was consistent between infusions. I have read that PTSD is a result of too much amygdala activation with not enough prefrontal cortex inhibition and I imagine it works in the prefrontal cortex. There was also a predictable going up and coming down kind of feeling and I it felt like my consciousness shrunk to the size of a pea in my brain and was flowing in some sort of river I darkness.

For me it was what I was always looking for. It works best combined with cognitive behavioral therapy.

Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 114722
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: 41
Published: Sep 16, 2020Views: 1,334
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Ketamine (31) : Hospital (36), Medical Use (47), Glowing Experiences (4)

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