Citation: breakdown. "I Had No Idea: An Experience with Alprazolam & Cannabis (exp114726)". Erowid.org. Sep 22, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114726
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
This day happened approximately 2 years ago. I've been using psychoactives since I was 12 years old (20 now). Smoking marijuana was my main everyday habit, but was using stimulants, dissociatives, alcohol, psychedelics pretty frequent during my highschool years. Yet, in that time I wasn't introduced to benzodiazepines except for 2-3 times spontaneously in low doses.
I was having a seriously tough week with my girlfriend of the time. I was so broke and extremely stressed that I wanted to buy a couple of them from my xanboi friend. He was living so far, so he said he would come for minimum 10. I met and asked 2 more and got 12 of 1 mg xannies. My benzo tolerance was low and never intended to take unnecessarily, just to go through this emotional fucked up situation.
I was gonna visit my homies' new house for the first time that day. As soon as I got the pills, I swallowed one. Then while waiting for the ferry, which was a regular public transportation in İstanbul, I popped another, then one more in the ferry. During the boat trip as soon as I felt the effect, I remember thinking what a conscious-lowering and mind closing high was that, and don't need in my life at all (I was fucking with psychedelics so much that time, so I was comparing the mind states).
After the boat I started realizing that I was losing touch with my rational mind and motor controls, I enjoyed it and didn't care about how much fucked up I'll get, because it was a shitty day (İstanbul is a relatively dangerous city in general, especially to get too fucked up) and swallowed another one.
After this point, my memory starts to get blurred. One thing I remember that after I took the bus, I had a really unnecessary and surreal dialogue with a guy in the bus, ending up telling me to remove my eyebrow piercing and give it to him and I actually did without questioning.
Then I met with my friends at a bar, I don't have any idea about the general vibe and our conversations, but I remember they were laughing at me and enjoying my completely slow and fucked up state. I remember taking a few more during the journey but drank no alcohol.
Next thing I remember was we were a small place eating something, in their shitty and conversative ghetto (still have no idea why they lived there for almost a year). And at that little restaurant, I remember my dad calling me, me picking up the phone without hesitation and talking to extra slowmotion (according to what my friends told) and swearing to him with the chillest attitude. Eventually my friend took my phone and told that I was too drunk and apologized for me.
I don't remember walking, getting into the house or whatever. After this point, there are only two scenes in my mind. First, another friend of us who brought some weed and suggesting us to smoke through a lemon, and then sucking the back of the lemon and me doing exactly what he told (:ddd). The second scene, somebody bringing a bottle of sprite to the table, me convincing them to put the remaining xannies in it. I clearly remember those were the remaining 5, which means by that time I ingested 7 mg. Then, when everybody was expecting to pass the bottle around, I drank the whole bottle in seconds. These were the only scenes that I brought with me.
-I don't remember, as my friends told me- most likely because my dad informed my mom about how seriously I'm drugged, my mom called me. I again picked up the phone automatically, and probably performed the creepiest communication that could be done with a mother, there occured some problems and my friend had to take over the phone and tried to convince my mom that there was nothing to worry about, I was having a bad day and showed up completely drunk, and later we smoked some weed and now I'm wasted (which was something my mom was used to).
Also they say we probably smoked 1 gram marijuana each that night.
Next thing I remember was waking up unexpectedly early, and left the house immediately since I wasn't sure where I was, just could see my friends sleeping. I automatically went to my uncle's (private teacher) home office (I don't have a fuckin idea why, normally barely visit him). I wasn't feeling any comedown or side effects, instead, was feeling pretty chill and happy which I liked it. However, my uncle was insisting that I've smoked so much weed at such an early time in the morning and can't even walk, stand straight or talk fluently. I didn't know what to say since I was feeling so sober.
Later that day, I (as told) met with my girlfriend, sat down and talked for like 5 hours. The scary thing is I don't remember at all! And as she said, I was perfectly able to maintain a normal conversation and she didn't notice that I'm under an influence at all, other than being too chill and talking slower than usual.
As told, later I hang out also with other friends which I don't remember too! It's quite strange that I remember the morning phase when I visited my uncle, but don't remember the rest at all.
Later that night I went to my grandma's (I was living with her back in the time for a while) and I also remember my grandma asking me if I took something. And I was getting angry and arguing about what the fuck she's talking about because to me, it was the fact that I didn't even take a puff the whole day and was feeling completely sober.
I fell asleep as soon as I lay down, and apparently I slept for 12 hours, then was woke up with a phone in my grandma's hand telling me that my mom wants to talk too bad. Even though I was actually "guilty" for nearly overdosing from unconscious xanax intake, I was so angry for being insisted that I'm somehow high and being blamed of sleeping too much :D Everything was so silly to me at that point and I hung up the phone, kept sleeping. I probably slept like 5 more hours, then woke up like a wreck. Now I was clearly feeling some after effects, but 2 days after my last intake.
I was clearly feeling some after effects, but 2 days after my last intake.
Not after just a couple hours, I easily fell asleep again and the next morning woke up normal, hungry af (since I wasn't really eating).
Conclusion: since I'm not a regular benzo user, that was an heroic dose, and I took all of them without being aware, normally I wouldn't say I'd do that. I wanted to use it as a support through my tough week. Another mind-blowing outcome with this drug, even though I've been abusing every kind of drugs with dangerous combinations, I've never experience a total memory loss about around 48 hours. This scared the shit out of me. Thank god I was under control of trusted friends (they should've stopped me taking that much though).
So after this day I put some distance between me and drugs, which lasted a couple of days :) Later I started to like benzos and was completely able to manage the dosage I take. But still, I possess them just for the end of hard, sleepless, partiful (:p) weekends, as a sleep and relief aid. To be honest, at the moment I'm on a little amount of xanax, since I've been taking speed since yesterday :)
Excuse my relatively bad English.
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