BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

Meditation Is Not Something to Toy With / Meditation Is Evil and I Don't Believe in Evil

*Note please that my experience is the majority of this I only give a short opinion at first*

Alright, because meditation can act as a drug, I say to others that I would never recommend it, but go ahead and see for themselves. I no longer use it, the natural state IS to be in that "frame" of (I am rather forced to use the word mind here for lack of a better way of putting it) MIND, just walking down the road. Meditation is a horrible technique doled out by the so called gurus of the world (probably because they grow tired of answering silly questions) as something that will allow one to attain their "spiritual goals" or for whatever reason they are wanting to start this practice.

Now, I have given my opinion, here is my experience.

I began to meditate in the summer of 2014. I started because I was desperately looking for an alternative to drugs (of all kinds, except any psychedelic, I used LSD in comparison based upon user experiences, they sound similar to what happened to me).

I sat for meditation EVERY day, usually at the same time and by the guidelines of some youtube guru. I sat for 10 minutes at first, then 20 minutes every day for about 8 months. Once 8 months came around, I began to be able to sit longer, 30 minutes to an hour usually. 9 to 10 months came around and I stopped for awhile because I wasn't really getting the benefits that seemed to be promised by so many advocates. I was still using substances to self medicate.

I continued after a few weeks, but one day I woke up and decided nothing works, everything I am doing is wrong, and not working for me at all. I dropped the drugs immediately that day but I kept meditating.

I joined my umpteenth A.A. group and just continued to go to that for a good couple weeks. I obtained a sponsor as they tell you to immediately and I kept telling the man that claimed 20 years sober, SOMETHING is different this time I truly cannot describe this to you. Something was different, I was just finished living in the same way, simple as that. The opiate, benzo, and alcohol withdrawal didn't seem to faze me this time.

I began to start sitting in the middle of the room where everyone could see me, that anxiety was still there although I simply pushed through it. I began within a matter of a week to start questioning absolutely everything, but mostly inquiry into my "self". As I inquired daily, into "what am I exactly" I was also paying absolute attention without judgement to the actions and dialogue of others, with a sense of wonder. *I'm still meditating during this time* the meditation started to feel good. Every time I finished a session I was invigorated, I started to think it was the reason for all this.

Natural energies of the body that had always been there began to arise in me *this was happening throughout each waking day. Let me get to cutting a much longer story short, the meditating was certainly NOT the cause of this sort of change that seemed be happening within me (I'm 28 going on 29 here). It was however amplifying these natural energies in the body, and stimulating it to a point of it being a high of its own. I don't credit meditation at all for this *let me say "mystical experience" again lacking better language*. For two months at least I ran around looking at things as if it was all brand new and for the first time. The whole nervous system reset itself and it was a noticeable thing as the so called mind seemed to no longer be there and the body was transformed to its extraordinary natural way of operating. I suppose one could say there was true bliss.

Still, much of the story cut out, the last time I meditated it was noticeably not causing the same high if you will. I began to be able to see that it was not at meditating that brought this about. I had been searching for something my whole life whether I knew it or not, possibly identity I don't know. What I have found is that the identity is even in itself false as it is instilled by others, it is all social input.

I'll go ahead and describe the high, 100% and maximum clarity, I felt super human, with energy I had never had sober. Anxiety, depression became non-existent. There was a candle burning, and that is not something that could be hidden, under a bushel.

Bottom Line: Meditation to me, is against the natural functioning of this body. It is like holding one's breath for a long time and once you catch the oxygen again you feel relief. That is all that meditation is doing, it is like choking oneself, and the relief you may feel or "good feeling" once you finish sitting there for however long, letting a war happen in your head with thought looking at the next thought thinking about the next and so on; letting it run rampant, is just your bodies response to being freed from a torture, it is relieved. Like a drug such as an opiate, the good feeling you get is simply your body responding to an invader and trying to get rid of it, giving off feel good chemicals in the process.

Meditation nearly drove me insane. When the party was over, because what goes up must come down, it plunged into a state of complete disconnection, a total flip side to the first couple of "HIGH months" .

I am fine now, I haven't meditated in 4 years. Whatever has happened to me, now that the body has had a chance to come back to an equilibrium, is not attainable in any way. it is not possible to show anyone HOW to come into this thing that I am just calling a natural state of being.

practice your yoga and meditation if you will, but I will always maintain that it will never help you to attain whatever it is you want. Simply, beware.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 114776
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Aug 9, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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Opiates (207), Benzodiazepines (434), Alcohol (61), Meditation (128) : General (1), Alone (16)