DOSE: T+ 0:00		oral	Amphetamines	(pill / tablet)
T+ 0:00	repeated	oral	Alcohol - Hard	(liquid)
T+ 0:00		insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 24:00		buccal	LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

My brother has a friend group that frequents musical festivals every so often. One of the mainstays in the rotation could not attend suddenly, opening up a ticket for me to come. I headed down with my brother, his girlfriend and one of my brother's friends. The first day of the festival was sweet. I took some addy and felt focused, energetic and generally amazing, as one is wont to do when taking addy, smashing white claws and still feeling hyper-sober. We get back to the place we rented, and my brother's friend "C" pulls out a bag of ketamine that interests me. I have never tried ketamine before, so I take a couple of bumps and settle down to observe the effects. I remember thinking that sitting on the chair felt like balancing on a unicycle. Later that night, everyone is sleeping and, being unable to sleep and unsatisfied with the earlier ketamine experience, I pour a substantial amount of ketamine and sniff it in the bathroom. I remember feeling very numb and unable to concentrate or move. I also remember thinking "love is the answer to all of the worlds problems" on that ketamine trip. It felt very profound and life-changing during the trip, but when I came down, I looked back and felt it was a silly, drug-induced feeling and nothing more.

However, the addy and ketamine were only appetizers for what would be the main course, the second day of the festival. I only mention them because the LSD trip that follows was very intense, much more so than my previous LSD trips at similar dosages. I was curious whether this occurred due to drug interactions from the night before. Anyways, we are eating falafels on a bright, cheery early afternoon before heading down to the festival. Right before leaving, we sneak the LSD blotters in between our gums.

We are inside now and I begin feeling the usual body load and anxiety, except its only been twenty minutes since administering. This was exceptionally quick (at least in my experience) considering the amount I took, which made me panic, which made me start to feel more anxious, which made me panic... Already caught in my first negative mind loop, I tell myself mentally that this is going to be intense and that I'm going to have to weather the storm.

Its a bright day and we are sitting underneath the shadow of canopies that are blowing in the wind. Rays of sunlight peak from between the blowing sheets, and I can feel them cutting into my consciousness. We are sitting on grass, and the blades of the grass also look sharp. I believe that strangers walking past are looking and they know I'm losing grip on reality. I find that once negative thoughts begin to invade a trip, they are very hard to stop or even ignore.

I am finding the come up to be much too intense, so I take a walk and sit next to a fountain. The only positive part of the trip comes when I zone out watching the water come out of the one of the nozzles, sail in the air in a parabola and land in the fountain. The pitter patter of the water and the visual image synchronized perfectly with the music playing in the background. It was very beautiful. Unfortunately, this didn't last a long time.

The next memory I have is closing my eyes sitting by the fountain because the sensory overload was becoming a bit much. I was having intense closed eyed visuals, but instead of patterns, I was envisioning the outside world in my mind's eye. I saw that everyone there was having a giant orgy, but not in any sexual sort of way. It was more ceremonial in nature, and I use the word "orgy" loosely because people weren't having sex, it was more like everyone's bodies and minds were being violently mashed together into one being (mine included). I remember feeling weirdly ashamed, almost sheepish, like everyone was getting a look into my inner being while I was being mentally mashed into everyone else. Funnily, I remember throughout this time of me sitting at the festival closing my eyes and probably looking like a complete psycho, C would tap me and ask if I was okay, to which I would answer yeah, of course in a duuh manner before closing my eyes again and returning to this bizarre trip.

The next memory I have is suddenly regaining consciousness and opening my eyes. It was dark out, meaning I was sitting there with my eyes closed doing absolutely nothing for hours. My bottom lip was chewed to pieces. At this point, I had forgotten I had taken anything, and accepted anything that happened as part of this new reality. I get up and spot my brother and his friends. I know I am with them in some capacity, but how do I know them? I take a look at C and it dawns on me. I used to be partners with this guy in a past life; we used to be interdimensional buddy cops on the tail of some interdimensional bad guy, and I had made myself forget this mission somehow, but now I remembered again the mission to get him. I began to fixate on this concept of this interdimensional bad guy, and the more I thought of it, the more sinister things seemed to get. Now the festival happening around me, which should have been the subject of all my attention, was just a creepy backdrop to this horror movie where I am being pursued by a time and space-travelling entity. And the revelation keeps hitting me, again and again, each time with the same profundity and sense of sheer terror. "Oh no, I remember now. I'm being chased across time and space. There's no escape. How could I forget.... Oh no, I remember now. I'm being chased..." Then I remember that I made myself forget this to escape this, and that I had somehow made myself remember this again and now it was going to happen. These were the only thoughts that kept looping in my mind, as far as I can remember. I have no recollection of enjoying the sights or the music in any capacity at this stage.

Before this experience, I would sort of scoff at the idea of a psychedelic causing a complete break from reality. I mean, it could happen, but not to me, right? This experience showed me that it really is possible to forget who you are as a person, forget your whole history, forget the laws of the "real world" and be completely and utterly convinced that you are this other person in a different world with rules and history of its own. When we came back from the festival, I remember pacing endlessly in circles in the bedroom, trying to come to grips with my newfound knowledge that the music festival and my brother and his friends and school and home and everything else was all a ruse and that I had rediscovered this terrible evil and this was going to be the reality for all times. I was notified the next day that that during the trip I was muttering to myself and reassuring myself, saying things like "time is the answer, right? wait no. yes, time is the answer." Then, late that night, I randomly yelled "F-------" in the middle of a crowd. They thought at that point it would be best to take me home, which was slightly embarrassing. Anyways, I'm taking a break after this, and I'm definitely going to NOT do any other drugs that could potentially ruin the trip.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114812
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Sep 29, 2020	Views: 691
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LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), Multi-Day Experience (13), General (1), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)