Citation: Dan T.. "Unending Nightmare: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp114853)". Erowid.org. Oct 17, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114853
I am finally writing this trip report down after five years.
From age 16 to 19, my friends and I hung out at a public nursery on the nearby river trail where we would smoke weed and get drunk at any hour of the day. The workers at this nursery liked us because we would offer them free weed from time to time. Without ever making a spoken agreement with them, my friends and I built a hangout spot out of bricks, rock slabs and small palm trees. From the outside, no one was ever able to tell that there were multiple kids smoking weed behind these trees. Eventually, more and more kids from our high school found out about this place and as a result, we made newer and sketchier friends.
One in particular was Pierce, a fifteen year old who had already done most of the mainstream drugs, including meth and heroin. One day he was bragging about how he had just earned $60 and was either going to buy a bunch of acid or a bunch of meth. I laughed and left the nursery with the intention of drinking some beer with my two friends later that night at the middle school by my house.
Later that night the three of us arrived at our usual drinking spot, but Pierce and his friends had beat us there. I asked him about his score and he said he couldn't get acid or meth; instead he bought a bag of 20x salvia divinorum. One of my friends and I were extremely anxious to try this substance since we were fond of psychedelics but were not into taking uppers or downers of any kind, besides weed and alcohol. In total that night, about 10 different kids between the ages of 14-19 smoked salvia out of my bong (it's really funny now that I think about it).
My friend Ryan went first. We were sitting on the ground across from each other, both with our backs on the wall. He took a large rip from the bong and was able to ghost the whole hit. I watched as the look of his face changed from anticipation to confusion. His eyes became out of focus and he started to giggle, but within 5 minutes he was back to normal. All he had to say was "weird". It was my turn and I was not impressed with Ryan's reaction.
I packed a large bowl of salvia on top of a small amount of weed. The stuff was kind of black with a weird fishy, oily smell. I lit the bowl and milked it right to the top of the bong before pulling the bowl piece (I had an 18 inch bong). It was very strange how light the smoke was; it did not feel like a strong enough hit and it was not difficult to hold in, although I did hate the taste. I was concerned that I was not going to get very high from this hit. However, as I held in the bong toke, I could already feel its effects creeping into my blood. After 10 seconds I blew out the hit and very little smoke came out. An image of a pier crashing flashed in my mind as I was jolted to my side...
I lay on my side looking up at my friend struggling to get up. A force was pushing me down to one side in a very confusing and non-threatening way. My friend Ryan acted as the loading screen for this bizarre trip. Right as I blew out, an outline of Ryan's arm all the way up to the top of his head lit up in a rainbow color, detached from his body, and flew away. I felt an overwhelming "pins and needles" sensation all throughout my body and my vision began to vibrate.
I felt an overwhelming "pins and needles" sensation all throughout my body and my vision began to vibrate.
My vision cracked into three pieces like a broken windshield, opening up three new dimensions while leaving behind the old one. The one on my left was the good, green dimension, the one on the right was the evil, red dimension, and the one in front of me was this immense void consisting of dying stars and bitter colors. I focused my attention on the other two dimensions, both of which were pulling my body in a struggle against each other. It's very hard to describe, but I felt like I had two bodies or my one body was split in two. My arms were being pulled into the green dimension while my legs were being pulled into the red dimension (I no longer had a torso).
The different dimensions were very similar, but were opposites. The green dimension was inhabited by green, gnomish people that were speaking to me in an unknown language that I was able to understand while the red gnomes from the other dimension were doing the same, but in their own language. Each side looked identical but with a different color: the people wore saggy hats, had saggy, pinkish skin and lived in mushroom-looking houses that were all connected throughout their world. The red side was the same looking as the green side, just upside-down. Each side had their own unique information that they needed to tell me about this world. As the good side prevailed, I came into their world and they told me the "cosmic joke" about the universe and my world. In an odd, alien language, the gnomish people told me that my entire reality was false. It was all a big joke. The answer to every question I have ever had was that it did not matter and that everything was fake and worthless. All of the negative or positive experiences I have had in my life were not worth anything. Nothing mattered and the whole universe was just a big joke. Everyone that had ever wronged me was worthless and their lives were a lie. Mine was too.This was the funniest thing I had ever heard and all I could do was laugh hysterically. I began to drift out of this dimension as my feet were listening to the red people in the other dimension. The red people were upset at me for not going with them into their world but I was still laughing so I didn't care. They told me that because I listened to the green people that now I was not allowed to have their knowledge, but I did not care. I just kept laughing. Painful images from experiences from my life on Earth began to pass through my mind as I laughed at them. I laughed at memories of disappointing people, getting into fights, and failing tests. All of it was worthless and unimportant.
As I began to come back down to Earth, I became aware of the people around me and my body. My vision was rolling over and over and over again like my brain was malfunctioning, but I was still laughing. I could hear the green people in my head still, but as time progressed, I slowly lost the ability to understand their language. At first I was sad because I was no longer able to remember the language, but it didn't matter…
Apparently I had been leaning on my side for the last five minutes but wasn't laughing or saying anything, just lying there staring off into nothing. Although I was no longer tripping, I was exhausted and completely drained of energy. On a typical night with my friends I would get very drunk and high and then take huge tokes of tobacco from the bong to get extra wasted, but I did not have the desire for a sip of beer or a hit of weed. I sat there, watched everyone else wig out on salvia and then went home early around 9:00pm.
To this day, five years later, when I'm stressed about money or school or work, I look back on this trip and remember to say "who cares".
"I lost my job, my car broke down, the world is ending."
Who cares, it doesn't matter. It's all part of a big, ongoing joke.
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