DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.5	oral	Cannabis - High THC	(edible / food)
T+ 0:30	1	oral	Cannabis - High THC	(edible / food)
T+ 0:00		oral	Pharms - Lorazepam

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

To start, I have smoked marijuana a few times before, and had positive experiences. I don't do any other drugs. I have an anxiety disorder so I am often prone to panic attacks. I also hadn’t eaten anything that day. I also want to make it clear, I am not anti weed. This is just my experience with it, and I personally don’t like it. I am not saying it should be legal, or illegal. I think it’s important to know that some people can have bad experiences on it.

Something important to note, I have a family history of bad reaction to THC, but I didn’t think much of it. This type of psychosis reaction is strong in my family, but according to the family member I spoke with, my experience was more extreme than the psychosis they experienced.

I was hanging out with my friend downtown of a major city we live in when we decided to order edibles. I think we did it because we are underage, and we mostly wanted to see if they would card us. We bought the edibles, paid cash, and used fake info. I have no idea why they didn’t card us, because we definitely looked like kids. Also, this was a legitimate service, so it was definitely only THC and nothing else.

I sat with my friend and we ate the edibles. I remember telling them that we should only take a little bit, because edibles can really mess you up. I took half of a gummy, and she took half. 30 minutes later, and I felt nothing. I should have STOPPED. My friend decided to take a full gummy, and I took one as well. We both were just hanging out, and feeling fine. My friend then took another gummy, but I held off.

We got up and walked around. I was watching a protest happen across the street and I was just paying attention to that, until I started feeling really weird. I told my friend I wanted to sit down. As I was walking to sit down, all I could think was “This is so bad,” over and over again. I remember screaming it loudly, but according to my friend I was very quiet.

Something odd I noticed was that my nipples were super sensitive, and almost painful. I can’t find any info on that being a normal symptom of THC usage so I have no idea what that was, but I remember it being really bad. I started worrying that the gummy had something laced in it.

For some reason I thought I was stuck in an eternal time loop, and that I would be in that moment forever. I have no idea why, but I fixated on that. I kept blacking out and waking up. I would be freaking out, and then sleeping, and then freaking out, and then sleeping again. I think that caused some of the ‘time loop’ anxiety. It felt like time had slowed, almost like each minute took an hour to experience. It was so disorienting to think I had been there for an hour, and see it was only 1 minute.

I felt like I was "beyond existence" and I was going to spend eternity like that because I was being punished. I would describe it as feeling like you're in a dream state/nightmare that you cannot wake up from.

I tell my friend to call my mom to pick me up. I didn't want her to know about the weed, but at this point, I knew something was really off and I needed to just get home. I wanted to hear her voice so I knew I was real, and that she could still hear and see me.

I keep forgetting what I am trying to say to my friend, who had taken more than me, but he seemed to be doing much better. All of a sudden I jump up and start running across the street. I tell my friend that we need to find a person who looks friendly and we need to ask them for help. I felt at this point I was seriously having an issue, and I needed an ambulance.

I went up to a guy explaining what had happened, who smirked as I told him. He understandably knew it was paranoia from the weed, but in my state, it caused me to go into an even further panic. I ran across the street on a red light, and immediately made my way to a hospital. My friend had to hold my hand on the way to the hospital, as I kept running into traffic trying to get there.

I started thinking that I died, and I began to get very sad when I realized this. I felt like my eternal punishment would be walking on the streets with my friend as my spirit guide, and I began thinking I needed to kill myself in order to wake up from "the dream". I felt as though my friend was my mind's way of coping that I had died, and that my friend was trying to take me to the hospital so that my soul could go to the afterlife. I was reluctant to go with him, but each minute felt like hours when I was walking on the street, so I decided that I would rather go to the hospital than just be standing around. There’s no way to explain how it felt. I somehow ‘knew’ with no doubts that I was dead and I was just a ghost.

All throughout this, I keep blacking out and waking up somewhere else. It was extremely dangerous, and honestly I'm surprised I didn't get hit by a car. My friend had a very better reaction, and he was also able to pull me away from walking into traffic. My friend also said my emotions would go from calm, to extremely panicked, to calm again.

Next thing I remember from that is walking into the doors of the hospital, and someone giving me a mask because of COVID. I look at my watch, see that it has only been 30 minutes since I first felt it, and I start to hyperventilate and cry. One of the nurses says "I've been there." I think I told her about what I had taken.

My hands were shaking so bad, and I was so scared. They took me into a room, and sit me next to a random lady who is waiting for someone. I start freaking out because I feel like it’s not real, and that the nurse wouldn’t put me in a room with normal people since I am freaking out. A different nurse yells at me to stop crying, and then it makes it even worse because I feel like it really is a dream (since in my mind, a nurse apparently wouldn’t yell at you). Every interaction I had with people made me feel less grounded, as everyone seemed to be “fake” or unrealistic to how I would expect people to act.


I was praying to God, saying the Lord’s prayer, over and over while sobbing. I was truly a mess, but to be honest it helped a lot. I kind of felt like in that state, God was mad at me, or wasn’t able to hear me because I was in purgatory or something.

Anyways, so I'm in the hospital, my friend is waiting outside. They give me something called ativan, and it doesn't work. I am just absolutely saddened by the fact that I am “dead”, and that I've “broken my brain”, and that I'll never be normal again.

Then my mom comes in, and I hug her. She took a picture of my eyes because they were super red.

The doctors say they have one of these cases ONCE A DAY! I remember the doctor said "I know it's a trendy drug right now, but it's absolute garbage for your brain. With repeated doses, you might get brain damage." That was enough to scare me off it forever, if the trip itself hadn't already done that. I think he said because I had such a bad reaction to it, I might be at risk for psychosis if I take it again.

They gave me another ativan, and that’s when I started to calm down. I think I went home with my mom shortly after. My friend made it home by bus and is okay now. I don't remember much except my mom telling me she isn't mad, just worried, and she made me some toast. I went to bed and woke up fine, if not a bit tired.

I looked at my smart watch, and it said I did 13k steps that day. I had blacked out at 9k lol. It also said my heartrate was 162 at 6:10, and then it dropped to 56 at 6:40. My resting heart rate is about 80. This was actually horrifying to see when I checked, and it made me really grateful that my heart hadn't stopped.

It's no joke. I honestly feel traumatized from it, and I'm done with drugs for good. I never want to feel that way again, and I wont even risk it with a lower dose. It was literally walking hell, and there were multiple times where I completely lost control of myself, and have no memory of what happened. My friend doubled the dose I had, and was able to make it home fine, whereas I ended up in the hospital with barely any memories of that night.

Also, there was a real danger of me getting hit by a car. I was running into traffic begging people to call an ambulance. I was sobbing running up to complete strangers begging them to help me. If someone had robbed me in that state, or hit me with their car, I would have been defenseless. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but there were moments where I legitimately thought I had to die in order to wake up from the psychosis.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114886
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Nov 10, 2020	Views: 1,178
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Cannabis (1) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Overdose (29), Bad Trips (6)