DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	oral	LSD
T+ 8:00	1 tablet	oral	Pharms - Alprazolam

BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

It has been a difficult week for me, most likely not the best time to be tripping but I head into the weekend with some good news and decide to commit to the trip. After a 4 year break up last December, I have been seething in negative energy that I need to work on. Not that I would think the xtal could fix this but perhaps point me in the right direction.

I dose with two friends at mid day, one I am close with and one who also may have his own issues to work through. We all commit to supporting each other for the next 12 hours.

0:00 - We each take ONE tab @ 100ug.

0:30 - I can already feel the effects, a sign that often leads me to believe I have just taken a strong dose. Feeling alert and happy.

0:45 - I am differently starting to trip, things are shifting and we are laughing uncontrollably. A fat man playing guitar appears in our youtube recommendations and we skip watching the video due to our fear of how large he is.

1:00 - I am tripping what I would considered 'hard' and starting to feel a bit overwhelmed knowing I am most likely 30 minutes from the peak. I ask if we can go outside and the cool air and sunny day immediately relieves me. Similar feelings of a previous trip induced panic attack start to set in so I let my group know who both comfort me and bring me back down to reality. I snap at one of my friends who confronts me and I tell him I am just scared. He hugs me and I apologize three times - each time making me feel better.

1:15 - Our driveway is alive and pulsing like a semiconductor, my friend encourages me to give in. I let go of all anxiety as a rush of LSD enters my brain. I am slowly starting to feel less like myself and more like the LSD.

1:30 - We move to our back patio where the true peak sets in. Our mossy stones come alive and I am memorized by their shifting patterns. My two friends lie down and I feel encouraged to follow as to not be left out.

1:45 - The most beautiful bliss I have ever experienced enters my entire body. I close my eyes and am thankful I am one of few humans on earth to have experienced this. I keep my eyes closed for what seemed like forever as patterns of red blue and green dragons swirl around my eyelids. I feel my friend start to be come overwhelmed and I encourage him to focus on breathing. He quiets.

2:00 - Something has changed. I am connected to something I have never felt before. I have tripped on numerous occasions and numerous psychedelics but never felt this odd presence of something or someone else. I lean to my closet friend and say 'this is not human'. Out of fear of sounding insane I refer to this as a feeling as transcendence and not as of god which my initial thoughts led me to believe. For an unknown amount of time I am connected and forget who I am and what I am doing. Only that this feeling exists in me and the world and it is beautiful and pure and white.

2:30 - We go to my room to play my record collection where I had the pleasure of showing them Aphex Twin Selected Ambient works. We have a long conversation about music, synths and other forms of art. My roommate walk in who is sober and we immediately banish him from the room.

3:00 - I realize I am still tripping hard but in total control, my friend says I have mastered the trip but we all end up agreeing that the strong peak we experienced has merely left us. We leave to go play our guitars.

3:30 - For an hour we each play our guitars together, the notes pour from my eyes like tears and I am having an amazing time. I am still experiencing heavy visuals. I pose a question to the group to see if they two had experienced the 'inhuman' presence' earlier. One of them immediate locks eyes with me and I know he understands. We both agree we need to reconnect with more LSD but a friend not with us advises me to never redose on LSD. I suddenly realize the madness of chasing the light and how dangerous this could be to someone with less guidance or mental will.

4:00 - I am glad I did not redose, I am still tripping extremely hard. We play more guitar and the notes come from my eyes like tears once again. My grin stretches the boundaries of my face as we lose ourselves in a soft improvised jam.

5:00 - I have arrived back into my own body while still having extreme visuals and psychedelic thoughts. We agree we MUST find the fat man video we saw earlier! How hard could it be to find a fat man playing guitar??

7:00 - Two hours. Two hours we have spent trying to find the fat man. He eludes us. I post a $60 bounty for the video on the internet in sheer desperation.

7:05 - A random man happens to see our post and knew what we were talking about. We gladly pay him the $60. He had just lost his job and needed the money for groceries. Such a stupid journey for such a stupid video made us feel whole and the trip complete. I wish the internet stranger the best of luck in life and he assures me he will be back on his feet soon.

7:10 - We watch the fat man video, who is actually an amazingly talented musician.

8:00 - I take a xanax to sleep and pose a question about if we had truly talked to god. One friend brushes me off but the other tells me we should talk the next day. He leaves and mentions that he needs to finish his 'self jihad' alone which I completely understood.

8:30 - Things are winding down, one friend continues to take various drugs and drinks and I no longer feel connected with him. I find my cat and tell him we both have a lot of work to do to fix my issues. He meows and asks for food which I take as a sign of agreement. I go online and set my first therapist appointment of my life for next weekend.

It is now the next day. I do not feel as I normally do after tripping. Lower doses or lower quality (what have you) of LSD have normally answered my questions and left me refreshed. Today I have millions of questions about what I experienced and what was real. I have no desire to return there any time soon but know I will one day. What a truly mind bending and amazing experience.

I have briefly spoken to my friend and we both are hesitant and scared to discuss what we had experienced, I assure him that ego death is real and that we have not lost our minds.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114930
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Nov 17, 2020	Views: 578
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