Citation: BitBitt. "Accidental Slip Into the Void: An Experience with Alcohol - Hard & 3-MeO-PCP (exp114959)". Erowid.org. Nov 16, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114959
This experience is one I never intended on happening... and definitely one that changed my outlook on the way I was treating these compounds. I didnít respect it, and I got put on my ass.
I was currently binging this drug almost every other week. I would go about taking 10 or 15mg capsules, then redose with various insufflated doses day and night. This experience all started when I got home from a shift at a local fitness club. It was around 10:30 PM and I wanted to get drunk and play some Xbox to unwind. (please note, I was already on the comedown of a 15mg oral dose from earlier in the day)
[T- 30 minutes]
I took 6 shots of gin, and felt the warm intoxicating blanket of alcohol fall over me. My craving for intoxication still was not satisfied, and I did not want to force the hand sanitizer feeling of gin down my throat any longer.
I impulsively weigh out 21mg of 3-meo-PCP and destroy the line of bitter white powder in one rail off my scale. IMMEDIATELY I feel myself getting dissociated and lose more coordination than the gin already offered. I quickly packed away my scale and stash of research chemicals and made it to my bed. I spent most the come up watching breaking bad, but it was fruitless. I couldnít understand what the characters were saying or doing. It felt like my soul was being forced out of my body. Like I was miles away yet still able to move and hear and talk and seeÖ
My girlfriend called me randomly, upon picking up the phone she realized I was extremely fucked up. She asked if I was okay and all I could do was a short response until I said ďI made a terrible mistakeĒ. I explained to her what I took and how much before my short term memory gave out. I turned off the Xbox and set my phone down, completely forgetting she was on the other line.
[T+ 15 Minutes]
At this moment I had a revelation, and it was one which I was unfamiliar with. My life was coming to an end... within the hour. Yet once I realized this I was already too incapacitated to get up and do something. My vision began to fail me, I could not make out what my eyes were telling me, until they disconnected altogether. I could hear my girlfriend on the other line but I was not listening, or even aware that she was on the line once her voice stopped. Very subtle red and green geometric patterns resembling different symbols and objects developed on my walls. I was grabbing my bed and everything around it trying to grasp for something to keep me on earth, but before I knew it my sense of touch faded.
[T+ 30 Minutes]
I was entering the hole, a place Iíve never experienced before. Yet I was convinced I was dying and that this was my one of last moments. I didnít know what I took, where I was, or what was happening. But I knew something horrible was happening to me. My life began to flash before my eyes. I saw memories from my early childhood, friends and family who were with me throughout my life were all flooding my brain all at once. It was as if I had a quick recap of my life before the lights would go out.
I began being compressed to a single point yet at the same time being in a cast open void of two dimensional shapes all rotating the same way and in the same manner. It felt like these shapes were unwinding my soul. All of the gears of my mind were being taken apart as it was rapidly extended miles upon miles out into desolate space. everything I knew and loved was being slowly taken apart and freed from my mind into the void, until I was nothing but an empty vessel, floating through nothingness yet still moving at the speed of light in all directions. I observed glimpses of immense machine scapes, incredibly complex greyish contraptions moving in ways which defied physics.
My girlfriend recalls this point, and tells me I was non responsive for about 10-15 minutes before beginning to mumble again. I remember suddenly relearning how to move,talk, etc like a baby. Yet this was all within 20 minutes. Once I relearned how to operate and relearned my own identity, I began to feel my bed and everything around it. I heard my girlfriend saying ďyou took 3meo... everything is going to be okay...Ē over and over and over. I was apparently asking her what was happening for an extended period of time, even when I wasnít aware I was talking. I kept asking her if I was in a thought loop and if anyone found out. Yet despite all of this no one was at my door to save me, just my girlfriend on the call.
[T+ 80 minutes]
I slowly gathered myself, and began to sob more than I have from any compound. I was so confused, I didnít know what had happened and I didnít know how I was still here. I was convinced I was dead and game over, yet all the sudden Iím back. Albeit VERY fucked up from the 3meo, I slowly regained myself before explaining how much I love my girlfriend for going through that and not knowing if I was going to wake back up. I was flooded with guilt for the fear I inflicted in my girlfriend, and guilt for allowing myself to make such a careless decision.
I still donít know why I didnít stay wherever I went, but... I have no complaints. All I know is that Iíve had enough from this chemical to know itíll be a long ass time before I decide to touch it again.
At the time of writing this report, I was not aware that I would further my 3meo use the following weeks, dosing at work, or most nights before bed. A reality shattering experience such as this one was not enough to keep me away from the cold and clean headspace 3meo has to offer. Use this as a story of caution. If you are like me, it may take more than a terrifying experience to get you off of a compound.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.