Citation: Met O Cin. "Who Cares Just Be You: An Experience with 4-HO-MET (exp114967)". Erowid.org. Jun 3, 2021. erowid.org/exp/114967
||(powder / crystals)
I had no experiences with any psychedelics prior to this, but I have used DXM multiple times ranging from first to third plateau.
I am not on any prescription or OTC medications, but I do take Agmatine, N-Acetyl-Cysteine, Vitamin D, Calcium lactate, and a multivitamin daily.
Earlier in the day, I went to the post office to pick up my test kit and CBD flower that I had ordered. Before bringing my giant pile of yellow forms up to the person at the counter, I decided that it might not be a bad idea to see if anything else had arrived, especially since I was expecting a somewhat large RC order, and to my surprise, it had arrived.
After receiving the RCs and picking up the rest of my things, I never really thought too much about trying anything other than the CBD. I actually wanted to wait a while before embarking on my first psychedelic journey. Throughout the day however, the thought of giving my freshly obtained metocin a try kept getting more and more enticing. Shortly after noon I decided I was going to try it, and after testing the substance to make sure that I actually had metocin, I began to get everything ready for the trip. I got out a couple blacklight posters, made sure all my lights had fresh batteries, and cleaned up my room.
By the time I was done getting everything ready, it was time. My mindset throughout the day and before the experience would probably best be described as “excited but a little bit anxious.” I remember being in a call with my friend and before taking the drug I told her “I feel like a small child that was just told that they were going to Disney World tomorrow.” Before taking my dose, I gave myself a short while to prepare myself for whatever was about to happen to me. At 10:12PM I decided that I was as ready as I was going to be, and ate 15mg of the off-white, slightly bitter powder.
At around 10:30, the first signs of the substance taking effect began to show themselves. I had an almost barely noticeable mood elevation, and I felt a bit weird in my body, like I was adjusting to being inside it for the first time. A few minutes after this, the visual effects started to come on, my vision was a little blurry, the background on my computer was moving ever so slightly, and I noticed some faint patterns in the white background of the document I had open to record my experience. I looked over at the posters on my wall and they were starting to move a little. By now I was beginning to come up more strongly, but unlike many reports I have read, I experienced little to no anxiety. This lasted about ten minutes or so and the only way I could describe the way I felt was simply just “weird.” By around 10:50 my friend had gone to bed, and although it would have been nice to have someone to talk to during the trip, I was not bothered and didn’t feel any bit unsafe. After the effects had started to take hold, I felt very strange, but in the most natural way possible. I remember writing down that I felt both the weirdest and happiest I have ever been. Despite being in the same room I spent most of my time in, it had a strange feeling to it, I wouldn’t call it unfamiliar in any way, but something about it just seemed ever so slightly “off” but this didn’t bother me in any way. I had some music playing (Psychedelic Porn Crumpets) and the song almost caught me by surprise. It didn’t sound any different than normal, but I was much more engaged in the song. Instead of the normal “chills” that happen when you listen to a good song, I was slowly immersed in a growing wave of euphoria, in that moment I thought to myself that this substance was “the most beautiful thing I have ever felt” By the time the song had reached its peak, I was frozen in pure happiness and bliss. When the song was over and I was able to actually move again, I noticed that I felt a bit “clammier” but this did not worry me as I had read some reports that said this could happen.
By now (roughly 11) the effects were well underway and I felt like a small child exploring the world for the first time. Looking at or touching anything at all filled me with wonder and joy. A random thought came to me seemingly out of nowhere, I realized that I was awareness itself, and I was here to learn about and explore everything in the universe, and that I was here to learn at least a little bit about what it was like to be whatever thing I was inhabiting, and this is when the idea of “Who cares just be you” first came up.
I decided that since I had this burst of energy and excitement, that I should set up my VR system and play Beat Saber for a little while. I was giggling the whole time I was putting everything together and the thought of having to pick up the cables from the ground in this state was extremely funny to me at the time. I did an absolutely terrible job during the game, because I was too busy laughing at the idea of some random 18 year old playing Beat Saber poorly while on relatively unknown chemicals from a sketchy Dutch website.
After this I stopped writing as much in notepad so the experience gets a little fuzzy. I was still filled with the same childlike excitement and energy I was before, and decided to leave my small stuffy room and visit a different room, with some plants, fun Christmas lights and an interestingly textured brick wall. When I walked in that room it felt like the most magical place I had ever been. The lights were beautiful and the plants made the room feel just a little bit more alive and interesting than my bedroom. I walked over to the corner and looked at the bricks, and how wonderful their intricate texture was, and how much it was enhanced by the psychedelic drifting. I felt the bricks, and while they felt about the same as they normally would, it gave me a sense of wonder and joy to see and experience something new and different, even if it was just looking at some bricks. I went back to my room, mostly just sitting listening to music and watching the posters on my wall move around. The thought of “Who cares just be you” was coming up quite often throughout the experience, and I felt like I had rediscovered my “true self.”
At 12:20AM, my legs felt a little sore so I took some ibuprofen. Around this point I was very slowly beginning to slowly come back down, and I was thinking about all the different things I had experienced at that point. I felt amazing, calm, content, but not tired. The only thing that mattered was to do whatever it is that I do as this being, do whatever feels the most natural. Even now about a month later, telling myself “Who cares just be you” brings back just a tiny bit of the feeling. I am here to learn about new things and see the world, and to discover whatever the universe may have to offer me. I was looking at some of the chats on a discord server, and even though everyone was pretty chilled out, I could still get a sense that no one there was really being their most true self.
At this point (2:15AM roughly) the effects were mostly gone, and I wanted to go to sleep but still felt far too energized to do so, but despite this I was not brought down unlike what usually happens when I can’t sleep. By around 5 I was able to sleep, and woke up around 9:30, feeling completely normal, if a little bit drained physically. Normally if I had such a tiny about of sleep, I would be completely useless most of the day and be in a very bad mood, but I felt more awake then than I have for quite some time. I feel like the night before allowed me to reconnect with a part of myself that I had long since lost, and that I discovered the root of the problems I didn’t even know I had. Even waking up at around 7am to get ready for work a couple days after the trip, I still felt a noticeable improvement in mood, and a dramatically increased level of energy in the morning. This mood boosting effect lasted for about a week after taking it, and I had no strong craving for the drug during this period and after these effects wore off. I genuinely believe that taking this drug was one of the best decisions I have ever made, and possibly will ever make, as it made me realize there is far more to life than sitting around hating everything.
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