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Deep Gratitude
Cannabis, Caffeine, Coffee, Vitamins & Floating
Citation:   sourcream. "Deep Gratitude: An Experience with Cannabis, Caffeine, Coffee, Vitamins & Floating (exp114981)". Erowid.org. Aug 18, 2023. erowid.org/exp/114981

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
    Cannabis  
  T+ 0:00   oral Caffeine (liquid)
  T+ 1:00   cups oral Coffee (liquid)
  T+ 1:00   oral Vitamins / Supplements  
BODY WEIGHT: 196 lb
5:57pm It has been about an hour since I microdosed on cannabis.

6:00pm Consuming an energy drink and a strong cup of coffee and about to enter the ‘chamber’ which is really my bathroom with no window and lights turned off. Turned on the tap for the bath to half-fill. I believe the intensity of darkness, the temperature, the level of ullage and the duration comprises the best set and setting. I have had some amazing experiences with no epsom salt and some really shitty ones where the water was too hot or I was fussing over spilling water.

I never had any LSD, shrooms or DMT, but only cannabis and at one time hooked on synthetic spice. Accidentally I smoked salvia once (and knowingly again on another occasion) and that’s pretty much my experience with psychedelics. My first sensory deprivation felt out-of-this world which can be best described as psychedelic at times. But every time I floated at local centers, it was unbelievably alien.

I think I relax naturally. Because it is usually after 20 minutes of submersion I feel like ‘one with Infinite’ and profound and deep gratitude for my life. Today, however, I want to experiment with caffeine. The conditions may be not perfect as total darkness is not possible. But I want the temperature to be perfect.

6:12pm Turned off all external lights. About to enter chamber. Right now I feel ‘normal’. 7:18pm I just got out. Subtracting 6 minutes for shower, getting dressed and quickly checking for email, it seems like I was there for an hour. Romans had baths, Archimedes had Eureka and Dali used it. God knows how many else used this technology. Initial impression: I feel deeply relaxed, nerves settled, and as I came to my room I felt a Zen like vibe with soft light coming from outside.

But my migraine is still there. Not sure if instead of writing this report I ought to have relaxed. I still feel normal. The same script that occurs a dozen times occurred today. However, today it was pitch dark and I honestly couldn’t tell the difference between a “home made float session on bathtub” and “professional ones”. There was sound of water from adjacent apartment but I didn’t let it bother me. I used it and at one stage I felt like floating in space. I was in a flying bathtub!

As I dipped in, my body temperature was hot due to the coffee and the overall temperature of the water was hot. In retrospect, the counterintuitive idea to dosage caffeine was an excellent choice. Because it kept me alert. I’d rather the temperature be hot and then warm down to lukewarm.

5 minutes in and I was totally in alpha. Deeply relaxed, I felt submerged into my childhood with my mom’s voice in ‘subwoofer’ supra aquatic tone calling my nickname. It happens all the time. It was almost the obverse effect of “waking up from a dream”. I felt instant unconditional, profound and deep love for my mom. This was instantaneous which forced me to meditate and become my inner nature. Instant satori sans the psychedelics.
I felt instant unconditional, profound and deep love for my mom. This was instantaneous which forced me to meditate and become my inner nature. Instant satori sans the psychedelics.


Buddhists talk of Buddha mind and if there is anything like “baby consciousness” or “natural state” then it was it. That was it. I felt almost my mind slate wiped clean and it was pure. Next I brought into my mind some difficult people of my life hoping to forgive them. I felt resistance, so I didn’t push it. Usually, what happens when I feel resistance is that I picture them as child or babies and I feel instant love. Deep unconditional love and acceptance. But today I just let it go.

So about 20 minutes in or even earlier, I was in deep theta. Although I did not forgive each person in inventory style, but at one point I prayed for happiness and peace for entire mankind. I felt world peace. Essentially it was a deep one hour of contemplative prayer. Invariably a time came when my own inner voice, but higher Self at the same time “asked”: “What do you want?”

I felt resistance. Because so many times my prayers weren’t answered and didn’t manifest. It can be tricky. Also the fact I was consciously doing this experiment got in the way. So I decided to completely relax and let go and try to forget I was participating in this experiment.

I asked for few things. Completely get off weed or for at least a long time. Shed the dependency. But then I heard myself say: “What do you really want?” I asked to be awed and astounded at every corner of my life. I felt sat-cit-ananda and still do. But it wasn’t all rosy. Sometimes difficult memories surfaced. I asked for prosperity, abundance, harmony, healing, healing for my mom and loved ones and wished to have more laughs and peace and harmony in my life. I asked for bliss. I felt I have enough wounds. I wished for the “Bruises” to be healed.

I did not hallucinate anything, but at one point I felt that “Parvati” came and gave her grace. I am not Hindu, know barely about hindu gods and goddesses, but after I finish writing this I will look up the avatar and its significance. Also at one point I tried to recall Euler’s equation. All I got are glimpses of e to the pi i + theta = 2. Again I haven’t “checked”. Funny thing is the memories which I forgot but were “real” and “personal” from childhood were intense and vivid and almost “flashbulb” like. That’s when I again got the AHA! insight which I always get. We are all love. The more ‘broken’ or ‘distorted’ the memories seem, the more it curdles. That’s what makes them even more beautiful like the Japanese art of kintsugi.

Finally, I felt deep gratitude for this experience, for the privilege of writing it. I tried “hard” to get something out of it like Prometheus stealing fire. But no such luck. I wanted “cosmic joke” to kick in but I couldn’t forcibly make myself laugh at memories which I felt were funny. For some reason “health benefits of nutmeg” came to my mind.

It was an ordinary experience then. Zen usually is.



Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 114981
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 38
Published: Aug 18, 2023Views: 228
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Floatation Tank (369), Vitamins / Supplements (231), Coffee (173), Caffeine (11), Cannabis (1) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Personal Preparation (45), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1)

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