DOSE: T+ 0:00	300 mg	oral	DXM	(liquid)
T+ 0:30	1-2 cig.	smoked	Cannabis	(flowers)

BODY WEIGHT:

8.12 st

I took 300mgs as my dosage of DXM, I mixed it in with apple juice and drank the mixture in a small glass. It tasted very chemically and in my head I immediately had a bad feeling, I knew I shouldn’t have drank it.

I personally thought I was in a good place with my mental health before hand, it had been 2ish years since I had taken any psychedelic but had agreed in myself that I wanted to. I am someone who has took an array of drugs just not as frequently now I’m a bit older. I was with friends as we were having a small birthday gathering, all people I trusted. I was staying in a nice house we’d rented but felt comfortable, at ease. I usually ask a lot about what the effects of a drug will be but I was washing up so didn’t listen. It was 10.30pm approx.

I smoked a joint or two of cannabis with my friends outside. This had probably been roughly half an hour since I had took the DXM. I felt fine still at this point. My other three friends had took theirs about half an hour before me and had all disappeared back into the house whilst still smoking, I was still outside with my friends who weren’t taking anything. When we finished smoking I went up to one of the bedrooms to find my friends who had disappeared. I laid in bed with the first friend I found, we were completely in the dark. I laid there for what seemed about an hour, I kept saying I couldn’t feel anything. I then got up to go see what everyone else was doing.

I stood up and this is when I realized I was tripping. The whole room started to spin and wobble, my whole body had a really negative feeling come to it and I started to panic. I think I had a panic attack for about an hour from then on, I told my friend to come with me to the bathroom as I couldn’t be in the room anymore. I walked out into the light and across the hall to the bathroom, I looked at my face in the mirror and had the weirdest existential experience. Looking at myself in the mirror I looked similar to me but I wasn’t me, I was someone else, I’d been took over by something evil. I kept saying to my friend I felt like I was going to die, all time and space didn’t matter. All that existed was that bathroom, I kept trying to open the door and leave but I knew I had to stay in the cold in the bathroom, it felt safe. I needed the toilet so sat down and when I tried to go all my muscles felt so twisted, my whole body felt like everything had been disconnected and put back together wrong. I couldn’t wee so I was panicking even more. My friend kept reassuring me I was ok.

I sat in the bathroom for a further four hours. I was tripping harder than I had in my whole life, I kept feeling like I was dead, and the universe was giving me punishing me for taking DXM. I kept hyperventilating and seeing all the walls etc. blur into one. I lost all sense of self for the full four hours.

My friend told me he was leaving the bathroom, he was starting to come down at this point and told me I would only be half an hour or so away from doing so myself. I sat at the top of the stairs for another hour, I knew if I went down those stairs I was accepting death and therefore couldn’t move, I didn’t want to accept death and damn myself for eternity. I am not religious either, so this was a sense of knowing and awareness that I had never felt before. Still tripping at this point, all the walls kept slipping in and out of focus, I was looking at the front door and knew someone was coming to get me, to hurt me. This was about 4/5am. I eventually decided to accept my fate and went downstairs, I had a major sense of Deja vu come over me. I stood right in front of the wall and put my head against it and closed my eyes, I was more scared than ever. I stood here for another half an hour, various friends asked me how I was and I told them I had accepted that I was dead and something bad was about to happen. People just left me to it, I was tripping too hard to know what people were even saying to me. I tried to sit down with one of my friends, he was watching a film, I couldn’t hack it, the screen was coming up to my face, all the walls were warping in and out of focus. And it was Jurassic Park, the original, so not the right sort of vibe!

Everyone was heading to bed, I stayed downstairs and sat at the dining room table. I began trying to roll a cigarette, it was the hardest thing to do to try and tell my fingers to roll it. I sat for about two hours rolling a cigarette, still tripping, then went outside to smoke it. I felt nauseous immediately on the first drag so put it out. I laid on the sofa with a blanket over my face, for a further three hours. Everything still felt intense, I was still seeing everything spin around me, really negative thoughts in my head that I couldn’t control, I wasn’t real anymore, I knew that much.

We had to be out of the house and get a train home for 12pm, this had been 14hours since I took the original dosage. I had to see my mum so I think this pulled me out of the tripping to some extent but really I had just entered a slightly less intense stage of the trip, I could see things but everything was still wavy. I had this continual sense of dread and did not feel real, the train home took two hours. I cannot remember the train journey at all. I went home and laid in bed, around 4pm at this point. I laid in bed and had another joint at this point, it didn’t add to the experience or change anything.

After this I would say it took a further three days to feel fully like I had stopped tripping and that I was a real human again. I have never had or experience anything like this. I will not be trying it again and have not took any psychedelics since.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114988
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Jun 5, 2023	Views: 573
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Cannabis (1), DXM (22) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Hangover / Days After (46), Bad Trips (6), General (1)