DOSE:	75 mg	oral	Pharms - Memantine	(capsule)
	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

Dosage: 75mg Memantine, 250ug LSD (oral)

Preface: I don’t want to say I was completely ready for this experience, but It was certainly one of the most enlightening and eye opening 24 hours of my life. To this day, it is one that I attribute many changes in my own mind and outlook on the world. I was experimenting with Memantine HCL during this time period, I started my journey with 65mg, and moved up to 75mg for this occasion, not to get too cocky with the 250ug dose I would be taking at the same time. At the time of this trip, I had previous psychedelic/dissociative experience with DXM, 3-MeO-PCP, 2F-DCK, Nitrous, Psilocin, LSD, LSA, DMT and A. Muscaria. My extensive period of experimentation over the past two years led me to believe I would handle my first dissociative psychedelic combination like it was nothing. But I had a long night of self discovery and astonishment ahead of me, and perhaps more than I would have asked for.

The Experience:

I weighed out 75mg of Memantine on my scale, and poured it into my capsule. I threw in my 250ug LSD tab into the capsule, hoping that would allow a greater synergy with the Memantine considering how long it lasts. I was going to spend most of the night at my friends house, where everyone would be drinking but Me and T. I was with my girlfriend (G) upon dosing and later with our main circle of friends including T, S, I, M, and C.

T= 0:00/4:00PM

I swallow my combination, and wait for T and S to arrive to pick us up. G would be driving T while S would be driving me once we picked up M. While we waited, I created a 60mg capsule of Memantine for T. My girlfriend and I parted ways, and S and I made our way to pick up M from his house, it wasn't until he got into the car that the LSD began to come up. S took us down a very scenic and beautiful road, where you can observe open fields, trees, bodies of water, etc all within a 3-5 minute long drive before returning to a main road. We blasted “Homage” by Mild High Club, as S stepped down on pedal speeding 15-20+ mph on the beautiful road, we were going to challenge this 5 minute road and make it 1. The colorful geometric patterns seeped into my vision as the car accelerated in one direction, trees felt as if they were passing us at the speed of sound. If this wasn't the definition of a rush, I cannot explain what else was filling my body. We decided to go back down the road 2 more times before making our way to the party.

I have always found myself to enjoy psychedelic compounds (particularly LSD) in party settings with friends I am familiar with, as it will greatly enhance every aspect of my social connection and bond with my peers. Before making it to C’s house, I convinced S to stop at a McDonalds, I offered to buy them all a meal so we can get some food in before the long night. We arrive at the party, other people are present as well but they do not play a significant enough role in the experience to be worth mentioning.

T+ 1:00/5:00pm
We made our way to the basement, upon entering I set all the food on the ground for everyone to dig into, 3 bites into my Travis Scott burger and I found it to be disgusting. This is not necessarily because of my lack of good taste, but I simply cannot eat food when tripping. I leave all the food to everyone else to consume, as I had lost interest. It was at this point that the Memantine began to slowly come up, I noticed translucent static yet living visual shapes accumulate over the already existing breathing, I felt like I was losing my barrier between human and animal, and could understand that I was a walking being with cells, emotions, and my own neurochemistry/pathways were the only factors in who I am. There was nothing special about my humanity, or my own individual identity, it was simply a mask to keep my body moving through the world, fulfilling its purpose as a lifeform. We were all gathered in a circle, everyone was split off into their own corner of the small room talking about everything they could think of. I had the opportunity to eavesdrop on everyone's conversation, and it was at this moment insight about my role and the role of everyone in this room in the great machine of human society was apparent.

T+ 2:00/6:00PM

Let me paint the picture from my seat, It felt as if we were all within the painting “The Creation of Adam.” Yet, it was cosmic, all the stars in the universe surrounded us as everyone spoke about simple, humanistic concepts like politics, drama, etc. There was absolutely nothing complex or philosophical about any conversation around me. It was as if we were all alone in the cosmos in some obscure corner of the universe. We had been here for millenia, yet, we were trapped gossiping about basic humanistic concepts for eternity. Both the most complex and extradimensional landscape was holding the most negligible creatures discussing the same basic ideas, over and over and over. Yet something about these ideas, and our capability to go beyond our primitive animalistic roots were the very thing that made us god-like.

C began discussing a politician who we all have the same position on, rambling about all the horrible things they have said and done. Do not get me wrong, I was not fond of them either, yet the way which he so adamantly painted a disgusting picture of this person made me see he had no other intention but to make them look as horrible as possible. It was as if there was some sort of extra dimensional conscious force influencing him to make her look as horrid as one would imagine, or perhaps he was brainwashed, spitting propaganda which he had no choice to expel from his own conditioning. I called him out, but he decided to direct those same points onto me, which was exhausting.

I switched to another pair of friends, who were discussing a girl we all know and dislike. They were making fun of how she failed to get into a certain group which she cared so much about. This was okay, because of how rude and annoying that girl is to all of us. Yet, despite my agreement with their opinions I could see how they were almost maliciously painting a picture of her with the strict intention of making her look evil, and to throw shame onto her image. For every insult and every remark, they would happily agree and throw more at each other with encouragement while mindlessly validating one another. This was also somewhat exhausting, and I decided to take my attention elsewhere.

T+ 3:30/7:30pm

I lay on my back as my thoughts drowned out the voices around me. I felt the construct of humanity slip away as I was a simple clump of organic material with a conscious mind, personality, and neurochemical makeup. I could see every single particle of dust that was made, was and will be a part of my body. I saw the origin of every spec of dirt on my body and clothes throughout its journey through the world, breaking down and becoming one with more objects, landscapes and lifeforms throughout its journey on this planet. Every chemical that made up my being had been recycled throughout the organic pool of earth, every atom that made me up had once made up millions of other creations of mother nature whether it belonged to humans or her own making. I was connected with every aspect of our planet, every life form and every atom that made up our world. I saw the entire cycle of every particle moving through time creating consciousness and destroying it, endlessly. I saw plants and animals consuming one another only to dispose of the remains, which would soon make up the same plants and animals they once were. I could see, feel and experience the journey all the genes in my genome took from all the ancient ancestors, and the genes that would continue spreading until they simply became the dust that made up this biological recycling facility. To this day, I feel this interconnectedness, I truly do feel as if we are all one, and all living things are and will return to the state which they came from, only to continue the cycle. This was no religious or spiritual insight so much as it was a simple scientific understanding of the recycling of consciousness. This is what I attribute to my own belief in reincarnation today.

T+4:00/8:30pm

I open my eyes, I watch everyone around me continuing their seemingly fruitless conversations. They all looked very different and Alien-like. I saw a boy with his facial features distorted, eyes small while the rest of his face was morphing in every direction creating 7 lines of movement going in opposite directions. G’s eyes were inflated, and watching her focus on everyone else allowed me to completely feel her focus, intent, and purpose behind every slight movement. One thing I found in common with everyone, was my ability to read every insecurity in the body language and words of my peers. I could see how they way they talked, composed themselves, the position of their body was all purposefully designed to keep themselves protected from the judging eyes of others. To hide what they were so scared to show about themselves, which they were blissfully ignorant of us all knowing. It is hard to describe, but it's the best way I can.

T+ 5:30/10:00pm

My drunken friends made their way outside and I followed. T is enjoying the Memantine, and described it to be about the perfect amount. Despite unrelated bodily pain she was having a good experience. Most of them hop into C’s pool to swim, and sit back with a few others and joke around, discussing whatever came to mind. I do not bother to discuss my own experience with others, I found it to be enjoyable enough to talk about the current happenings they found interest in talking about. After this point, there was not much happening of importance, besides the beautiful geometric patterns along with the enhancement through static and mysterious moving indescribable objects/shapes from the Memantine. This synergy had me lost for words, yet was never too much to handle.

“I” made it back inside with me, and we talked and listened to music. We discussed fears and thoughts of our future. Before being interrupted by our group of friends coming back from the pool. In particular, G had ran in at full speed and jumped into the couch. Not long later, she was vomiting with another peer of ours making sure she was okay. S tried to keep me from seeing her, to ensure I would not worry. I could read every bit of intention he had to keep me from seeing her, and him making an effort to keep me from being worried. This was pointless, as I was not worried. I found it funny and thoughtful he did his best to keep me from seeing an unpleasant sight in the state I was in, so I listened to him. For his own sake, and G’s, not mine.

T+ 7:00/12:00

Between 10:00 and 12:00, I began to feel the LSD come down, while the Memantine peak was coming to an end as well. We were getting ready to leave C’s. I had trouble finding my shoes, despite them being right in front of me I was convinced they belonged to someone else. So, I left C’s without shoes and accepted I would never find them. G drove me home with T.

Return Home:

Throughout the night I experienced immense anxiety, and worry over my relationship with G. I was worried about my own selfish actions that went down two days before, and I could not sleep knowing I did not make it right between us. I did not sleep one bit, and spent the next day experiencing light visuals and dissociation throughout the day before I could talk to G about my feelings and troubles.

This truly was an experience of a lifetime, and one I will never forget. I would not recommend this combination for the inexperienced tripper, but when one is prepared it very well could be a life changing ride. It took over 24 Hours before I returned to baseline.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115035
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Dec 7, 2021	Views: 1,150
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LSD (2), Pharms - Memantine (309) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)