Citation: Ari G.. "The Beginning of My Insanity: An Experience with PCP (exp115037)". Erowid.org. Jan 5, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115037
This was my first experience with PCP. I can’t recall a lot of the experience but I’ll do my best to. This happened on Friday March 13th in 2014. I picked up a friend who had the drug percured from a Chinese company which I won’t disclose here. It was extra potent and boy was I curious to try it. I brought my buddy back to my house where we went to the basement to dose. He and I took a small line and went out for a walk and a smoke. As we walked outside we passed my dog. He started to bark and as he did his voice would start to echo and as my senses took in the noise I began to dissociate. I decided to take my dog on a leash and led him outside. As we started to walk my dog began pulling me towards the abyss that was my mind.
As we walked down the street I got the feeling as if my soul had just been replaced by a demon. I forgot where I was but was just content to be walking in the world. Both Me, my friend and the demon that slowly began bubbly up inside me. I sucked my cigarette down like a son of a bitch and lit another. We continued to walk and began a mumbled jargon that could be heard by a schizophrenic as philosophical. My body felt like I was walking on the moon.
My body felt like I was walking on the moon.
The police song was in my head as I tried keeping conversation and keeping up with chain smoking. We got back to the house and went back to the basement. That’s when I made a fatal mistake.
My friend asked how I was doing which I replied yes. Some would consider that to be doing good but I’m pretty sure no would have been just as suffice, whatever the hell that means. He asked if I wanted to dose again and I thought about it between the time I decided to answer yes. After yes I had actually thought about it again and thought how the demon was already bubbling up but the demon told me to just go with it and he seemed pretty certain so I trusted him. My friend then asked if I was looking to go into a hole. He didn’t mention what kind of hole so I just assumed it to be like a glory hole. Though my penis would be heavily involved in this experience the hole was no glorious one, I was soon to fall down a hell hole due to my own impairment and I had no idea what was coming.
I was still high as hell from the first line but the demon wanted more chaos and I was about to fan the flames of hell with a gasoline geishas fan. My friend went to the bathroom upstairs to “weigh” a capsule full of secrets. He came down and put out his hand. Suddenly a voice from above came to softly tell me not to ingest this capsule full of illicit Chinese anesthetic. I felt weary and looked my friend in the face with the numb look of a labotomized mental patient and calmly said yes. I took the pill out of his hand and without missing a beat took the pill as the voice softly said “idiot. Good luck in hell.” I felt a little concerned with my conscience but the PCP really took the edge off.
Almost instantly I started to black out, probably from the previous dose. I suddenly really had to piss but I couldn’t walk. I had what a star of an interesting intervention episode would call “moon boots”.
With my moon boots on, I was one with the world. Nothing was wrong and everything felt right. I went to explore the craters on the moon. As I jumped into the craters I was immediately met by a friend. “Hey” the friend said once, then I heard it again. And then I was disturbed to find myself awake again with my friend trying to lift me up so I could go try and pee. Before I blacked out I had mentioned I needed to pee. I really didn’t want to piss my pants in front of someone. I struggled to move. I was still disturbed by how I could possibly exist. My consciousness was freaking me out. My self awareness was fading in and out and the notion of the impossible mystery that is creation was unsettling. My friend guided me to the stairs. The stairs in itself made me want to cry. The preposterous idea of walking up this puzzle was enough to make anyone baffled. I strapped into my boots and began stumbling towards the laundry room where there was a trough like sink. I had forgotten I had ingested a huge second dose shortly before. I began to go in and out of my body as I just made it to the trough. The trough sink was above waist high so as I pulled out my dick I propped it upwards and tried to aim it into the sink. All the sudden I was beginning to leave myself and the physical world. I couldn’t pee and was concerned about two things. Where I was going and what my friend was going to think of my dick size when he would ultimately come back to find my lifeless body propped up against a disgusting sink with my penis laying upwards pointing towards where my soul would be going.
That’s when I really began to feel the fear. I left my body again and again and then finally I had completely released into the astral. I was looking down on my body from the top corner of the room. I saw everything around and realized I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. I then tried to go back into my body but then suddenly I got sucked into a very dark part of the ether. I found myself in front of two satanic looking things with red hooded robes on. Their faces could not be seen but that made it all the more terrifying. They began to walk around me in a counter clockwise fashion and presented to me a cross. I was terrified and was about to die. I began to see numbers and letters around me in the ether. I then found myself somewhere else where the numbers kept flying around. After that I can’t recall what happened after being bombarded with nonsensical terror. I felt humiliated and completely insane. I kept having manic visions that I can’t now recall. I then found myself back in my laundry room looking down towards me. My dick still propped up against the sink. I was still in and out of consciousness and my vessel. I finally made my way back to find my friend was gone and it had gotten dark. I started to be able to feel my bladder again and took a piss I felt I had ventured galaxies to take. When I stopped I started to hear things. I walked out of the laundry room to my luvsac to lie down. As I did I could hear voices that provoked delusions. I fell asleep and woke up to find that I had held onto some of the etheric beings in my mind. It was a mild sensation but soon I would come to know these things very well, but thats a different story. Anyway, I give PCP a 3 star rating. Wouldn’t recommend it.
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