Citation: Promontory Rider. "Gently Dissolving the Ego Into Pure Being: An Experience with Ketamine & Meditation (exp115059)". Erowid.org. Jan 4, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115059
Our intention was spiritual - to facilitate meditation. In terms of set and setting, we climbed atop a Mesa in the desert and set a shamanic altar. We read the aphorisms of Ksemarajaís Nondual Shaiva Tantra and then took 50 mg sublingually, swishing and holding the liquid for 20 minutes.
My mouth went numb, and I began to experience a sense of peace and quieting of the mind. For a moment, the clouds rolling over the desert mountains began to strobe in stop-action framing. The sunlight streaming through the snowclouds felt like Divine Radiance. I began to slip into a trance state not unlike that produced by hypnosis. The witnessing mind was established, as I began to get a sense of the miraculous
The witnessing mind was established, as I began to get a sense of the miraculous
- that everything was a divine gift, a show, the One revealing himself in infinite forms.
We took the next sublingual dose: 75 mg. My eyes felt heavy and closed autonomously. I saw subtle patterns of sand shifting and flowing downhill, snow softly sliding down slope. These softly flowing patterns corresponded to the dissolving of my ego - a gentle effacing of the self into the substratum of existence: Being-Awareness-Bliss (satchitananda). This sense was not overwhelming; we could still talk, and did, of all eyes being One Eye, God seeing Godself through infinite forms, wondering why we needed a drug to experience this level of meditation, and of our profound gratitude. I had a sense of the mysterium tremendum - everything a blessing, a miracle, and I praised Adonai many times over as I sat lowly and immobile on the rock. A few times with eyes closed I saw a burning blood red sun that was dripping and pouring red light to the lower left hand corner of the black space behind my eyelids. The ego dissolving was blissful (but not overpowering), causing me to moan and exclaim and sigh multiple times.
Then, as quickly as it came on, the trance was gone, and less than 2.5 hours later my self was fully reconstituted, surprisingly back to normal.
I loved the experience, and would take the same dose all at once next time. As a meditator of 25 years, all I needed was a low-moderate dose to open the Doors of Perception. I donít need to blast myself into oblivion anymore. Iím writing this report to add to the data on sublingual psycholytic dosing of K - something that I found very useful for spiritual connection.
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