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Life, Death and Falling in Reverse
DXM
Citation:   Lifes_A_Journey. "Life, Death and Falling in Reverse: An Experience with DXM (exp115081)". Erowid.org. Jul 19, 2023. erowid.org/exp/115081

 
DOSE:
1200 mg oral DXM (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 220 lb

Let me preface all of this by saying I’m a frequent user of psychoactive substances. I’m a frequent user of cannabis, all day everyday, and have a decent amount of LSD and shroom trips under my belt over the past year specifically. My first experience with anything other than weed came when I was 17 and encountered dex, normally low first plat nothing crazy.

About a week ago I won a giveaway for robotablets, and was super excited because I was gonna buy myself a bottle for Christmas and have a blast, but hey, now it’s free. So they came in the mail 3 days ago, I did some soul searching, and decided that high 3rd plat is what I wanted and was ready for. Failing to notice these bad boys are more potent, I downed 40 of them alongside my girlfriend in a motel room who took 10, and this is what happened. (Time stamps are just guesses)

7:00 PM- I down the dex in 4 groups of 10 about 5 minutes apart on a completely empty stomach.

7:30 PM- I get the urge to shit and I know how hard it is to do while tripping so I decide I’ll get it out before the trip starts.

7:40 PM- While shitting I get a sudden rush of nausea, no effects yet, and I start puking. The puke tastes of chemicals and medicine so I think I threw up my dose, or at least part of it. I’m in the daydream chat on discord asking if they think I’ll still trip and telling my girlfriend I think I messed up I’m not gonna trip like I wanted.

7:45 PM- It was almost immediately after saying I thought I wasn’t gonna trip, I just start feeling like I’m floating, it feels nice, but I’m vomiting everywhere and can’t ignore it, I was burning up and begging for my girlfriend to come help me. She refuses too because she says she also doesn’t wanna throw up, which I understand, but I eventually talk her into bringing me something to drink and a fan.

7:50 PM- I’m sitting there trying to kill my nausea and starting to disassociate when I hear Bob from Bob’s Burgers going off on some crazy tangent that terrifies me. I scream and ask my girl to turn it off, which she does, and I then ask her to move me to the bed. Here’s where time gets a bit muddy.

8:00 PM?- I don’t remember much of the short walk from the bathroom to the bed but after what felt like maybe an hour of laying there (which my girlfriend said was more like 10 minutes) I asked for some music to be put on so I could just vibe out. The second the music came on I was overwhelmed. It seemed to morph reality with every note, and it was something far beyond anything I’ve seen on LSD, it’s very hard to describe but I guess it was like seeing the music waves rippling around me. I begged for it to be turned off, and then I guess I “black out” because my memory gets super muddy too. I remember saying to her: “baby, I broke the simulation, I think I’m going away now, I love you and I’m sorry.” My mind was racing so fast at this point and it felt like I was strapped into a rocket ship headed for Mars. Then I “black out.”

0:00- I “come too” to the sound of my girlfriend in the bathroom throwing up, I remember opening my eyes, but it didn’t really feel like “I” was looking through them. I began to call out to my girlfriend asking if she was okay, but again, it didn’t feel like “I” was the one talking. I thought I was trapped in my body. So after a few attempts at yelling at her and asking if she was okay, I attempt to stand up and go check on her due to the lack of response. Cue the most dramatic fall of all time. I stood up from one bed and immediately fell face first onto the other (I’m in a motel room with double beds). Then I somehow manage to stand up on the edge of that bed and begin my perilous walk like 8 feet to the bathroom. The first step in I just feel everything stop and my vision goes sideways (this was really just me falling face first on the hardwood floor), and watching the room spin around me and burst in strange orange patterns. I feel myself starting to “blackout” as my girlfriend comes and gets me off the floor. She put me in the other bed because at some point in my adventure to go watch her throw up, I pissed myself, and I spent the rest of my trip over there.

0:00 2- After what I’m guessing is major dissociation I “come back to,” and my visuals at this point are everywhere. I can’t tell the difference between having my eyes open or closed. There’s not a easy way to describe it other than the color orange (which seemed reoccurring throughout the trip), and this terrible feeling that I was flying toward death. I think “k-holed” and found myself in a dark void. I couldn’t feel or see my body, I couldn’t move, I could only look around roughly 180 degrees. Every where I looked I saw skulls, not like flat Mandela pretty skulls, like 3D, post decaying dead people skulls.
I think “k-holed” and found myself in a dark void. I couldn’t feel or see my body, I couldn’t move, I could only look around roughly 180 degrees. Every where I looked I saw skulls, not like flat Mandela pretty skulls, like 3D, post decaying dead people skulls.
At this point I was deathly afraid. I felt like I was having a nightmare, but I was completely inside it with no way out. I remember thinking that I was dead and that this was hell.

0:00 3: The scary ass skulls slowly faded into nothingness. No noises, no visuals, just the color black. “I’m dead” I thought to myself “actually fucking dead.” I just knew that I had either ODed on some RoboTablets, or had ascended to the god realm and wasn’t allowed on earth because of my forbidden knowledge. And I spent the rest of my trip just thinking, I can’t remember much aside from it was all very sad. It felt like I was connected to everyone on earth, but only their sadness, pain and negativity. The bit I do remember in detail was thinking of my girlfriend and our dog, and how I was going to miss them and how it must have sucked for her to either find me dead or watch me just fucking disappear. I vaguely remember feeling like I had been connected to the internet or some form of information and knew everything there was to know, but of course all that nonsense faded. Then I guess I “blacked out”

0:00 4: I “come too” but I really think I was dreaming at this point. I’m stuck in a thought loop of me asking my girlfriend if I could come lay down with her, her yelling at me, and me trying to stand up, finally doing it, then starting all over from asking if I could come over there. After what felt like doing it 5-6 times I realized I was in a loop and it instantly stopped and I once again “blacked out.”

2:30 AM- I wake up sober enough to go get in bed with my girlfriend and remember seeing her and my dog and crying, beyond thankful I wasn’t dead, she was already asleep and I was still fucked up, so I decided to just lay down and tap out.

This trip really fucked with my head in many ways, the biggest being how out of control I felt. The whole talking to my girlfriend but not actually being the one talking was a major mindfuck. Has me thinking this shit is either predetermined, or has already happened and is on a loop, because in those moments I could nothing to change what was happening in the “real world” around me. And of course the feeling that I was certainly dead. And that I had lost everything around me. Still 3 days later I’m shook, and can’t remember much of it.

Exp Year: 2020ExpID: 115081
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jul 19, 2023Views: 315
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DXM (22) : Relationships (44), Post Trip Problems (8), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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