Citation: WB. "Just Hold On: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp115085)". Erowid.org. Jan 28, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115085
This Salvia Divinorum experience was the most significant psychedelic experience of my life.
I was the typical senior in high school. Played in rock/metal/prog Band… played on the school soccer team… 3.0-3.3ish GPA. I was on the typical American path. Go to school, get a job, have kids, and retire. I attended Christian School (of all things!) and was increasingly becoming interested in physics, chemistry, mathematics and alternative spiritual teachings from what I was being taught at school. I was pretty much a Christian “by default” just because that is all I really considered. I had been studying Christianity extensively from a technical standpoint over the past few months but begun wanting something more. I somehow knew that the mysteries of existence couldn’t just be derived from reading a book. Something was calling me during this time in my life that I cannot explain. A yearning for something more experiential rather than the typical bland dogmatic path of the typical American protestant church/middle class demographic.
My best friend at the time (we will call him M) had been in my class since kindergarten and was also the drummer in our band. One evening while driving after picking up the bass player from our band, M mentioned a plant he had heard about online. SALVIA! He explained how it was a non-toxic, legal drug, that could induce other worldly visions, only lasted 5-15 minutes, and didn’t cause a hangover. I instantly was fascinated and knew for sure I wanted to do it even though I had never tried any other drugs other than caffeine and alcohol. I have never had this feeling before in my life. An instant intuition that this was very important for me. M and I had already shown a healthy, responsible interest in psychoactive substances. When I was 12 he introduced me to coffee. WOW what a surprise that was for me! M also introduced me to alcohol at age 15. We would sneak 2 beers every Saturday from his upstairs fridge around mid-might and watch Pantera videos on MTV. We thought we were such true metal heads HAHA! Right before I turned 16, we carefully stole 8 beers each over 3-4 weeks and hid them in the couch and drank them in a 90-minute period…and got caught by his parents at 3:30am…
After doing extensive research I ordered some “plain leaf” from arguably the most reputable online source. I tried different methods of ingestion and none of them worked. I tried chewing rehydrated dry leaves to no effect. I tried rolling a joint with printer paper (what the hell was I thinking!) with no effects other than a bad taste in my mouth. Another good friend of mine, “C”, heard I was experimenting with the substance and wanted to help out. C was somewhat more of a party animal and had drank a lot of beer, smoked cigarettes, and tried pot at parties here and there. C came over to my house after school one day and rigged up a makeshift smoking device out of a brass pen and a mountain dew pop can. I tried smoking it but couldn’t hold it in with my virgin lungs. C successfully smoked about 0.2 grams of plain leaf, laughed hysterically for 5 minutes and fell asleep for 10 more. C said he didn’t see anything - just had an uncontrollable urge to laugh for no reason. Feeling left out, my motivation increased! C become determined to help me experience the effects. We found an old metal attachment to a central vacuum system in my house and rigged up a plastic screen (WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING!) from a prescription bottle safety lid on top. C lit a massive amount of plain leaf and held his hand over my mouth forcing me to hold the whole hit for 30 seconds. We repeated this process 4 or 5 times until I started feeling something.
All the sudden I had an urge to talk but my voice was all “bubbly” feeling. The individual blades of grass in the back yard appeared almost as if it was on fire! This was very hilarious and very exciting. I went inside walking around talking my ass off and eventually laid down on the landing of my basement stairs for about 5 minutes. After this, all the effects wore off with the exception of a very sore throat. I would describe this as a first “A” on the S-A-L-V-I-A scale. Needless to say, I wanted more out the experience than a five-minute giggle fest. I knew from my research there was way more to be revealed from this plant.
I decided I couldn’t cut anymore corners. I ordered the correct tools for the job: a very cool looking “tobacco” water pipe with a metal/brass screen bowl, more plain leaf, and “10x” extract ordered from the internet and a nice $20 dual jet butane style lighter bought from a local chain smoke shop. Considering I had not yet tried pot at this time, using the water bong was an interesting experience. Even though the smoke was cooled I was still having a hard time holding in the smoke. Still, I was not having success with the effects of the plain leaf and 10x extract after trying about once a week over the next 3-4 months. I had been damned as a salvia hardhead!
Now onto the feature experience…
It was a typical Saturday night at my house. The bass player in our band, who was over 21, had supplied M and I a small bottle of Seagram’s 7 whiskey for the evening. M and I were not planning on getting really hammered. At this point we were attempting to drink like sophisticated adults by sipping bourbon on the rocks. I had about 2 or 3 shots worth of this and wasn’t really feeling like drinking anymore that night but was left with a very subtle relaxed buzz. Out of the blue, M said, “lets trying to get the salvia to work on you tonight!” My attempts before this experience and after my experience with C had been duds because I didn’t want to push it too hard without having a sitter in case it kicked in out of nowhere. I trusted M to be a good trip sitter since he had also researched the plant and was hyper-responsible.
M took control and started preparing everything for me. He loaded up a full bowl of 10x. We stood right outside the basement door under my deck and I got to work. M held the lighter and I took hit after hit. After the first bowl I felt something like the first time, but it wasn’t strong. M kept the salvia coming. He quickly proceeded to repack the bowl and I kept busy. Smoking and smoking and smoking. (A note of caution: do not do this unless you are 100% sure you are a salvia hard head. This would be considered a very high dose to someone who isn’t a hard head). After the 3 third full bowl, M packed a 4th, but I didn’t need it.
In an instant who I was and how I was perceiving realty widened drastically. I wasn’t gone or in a different universe. I knew who I was and that I had taken a drug, but I didn’t care. The autumn landscape become abuzz with life and a forest full of “telepathic voices”. I began to feel Euphoria like I had never felt before or since. An excitement for life, and excitement just to have a perception to perceive with. I could literally feel all the spirits of the forest and trees. M correctly noticed I had obtained a satisfactory result and took the bong from my hand and sat it inside. This “bubbly” feeling in voice came back ten times stronger than my first experience. I kept wanting to say something, but it wasn’t ME trying to saying it. “The wit… the wit of the … of the HAHAH. The bubb… the witches of the bug….” I kept babbling this over and over for the next 10 seconds. Then I realized I was (or it) was trying to say “The witches of the bubonic” I have no clue where this came from, but I wasn’t in control of it. These “witches” were right behind my fence, calling me, beckoning me, like a demonic siren song. I began walking toward the fence, but M encouraged me to stay close to the door. (I had a large backyard that backed up to a large forest and creek so there was much to be explored). As scary as demonic witches of the bubonic plague beckoning me sounds scary - it wasn’t. It was exhilarating, almost as if I had been chosen for the most important calling in the universe. I didn’t see any of these beings, but I knew they were there… calling me.
Next, I fixed my attention on a large oak tree in my back yard. Almost without me noticing, the leafed portion of tree began glowing with a deep yellow, orange, and purple (in that order from inside to outside) fire. Then, on top of this “fire” 2 deep, black eyes appeared. This entity was very old, wise, patient and masculine in nature. It didn’t communicate with me, but we seemed to have this understanding that what I was about to see was important. This glowing fiery tree with eyes opened into a bottomless sideways pit where the yellow and orange colors where, leaving the purple around the outside. As I focused my attention, I saw an infinite number of small stick people (Like you see on public restroom doors) spiraling down the center of this pit into infinity. And I mean infinity! Not just billions or trillions or 10^56….. INFINITY. All the stick people were toiling away on the sides of this pit. They all held a black stick people sledgehammer that they hammered over and over and over again for all time on the walls of this infinite purple pit. Each of their individual hammerings contributed to everything in the universe and each one of them was essential to the continuation of realty. I felt a deep appreciation for these little stick people. All their contributions and hard work over eons built upon each of their past contributive hammerings made it possible for me to evolve from nothing over billions of universes and eons to be this 18-year-old kid smoking salvia in my backyard. And WOW, could I feel how truly OLD it felt. My thought process was very dissociated but very euphoric. It felt as if I was invincible or had a sphere of protection around me. I hadn’t lost awareness that I was human but at the same time wasn’t interested in anything to do with my humanness.
M not wanting anything bad to happen to me coaxed me back inside. Walking felt hilarious! I slowly walked back behind my corner couch to the spacious part of my basement. I stopped there, standing in place. Opeth’s “Windowpane” album was playing lightly in the background. I ordered M to “SHUT THAT SHIT OFF” so I could concentrate. I wasn’t sure if my eyes were opened or closed but I began walking deep into this cave. It felt very old and I felt further under ground than would be possible on earth. This underground cavern would have had to be on a planet whose crust was millions and millions of miles deep. And it kept going down at about a 10-degree angle for miles and miles. As I was walking through this cave, I saw that it was made with rectangular stones about 18 inches x 10 inches each. Each stone had a blue eye that was watching me. Millions of eyes fixing their attention on me silently observing my thoughts. There was no escaping their gaze. They knew everything about me and there was no hiding it. All the eyes movements where synchronized as if it was one being.
After what felt like eons of walking down to this cave I came to the end. I could see the ending wall of the cave but there was an infinitely deep pit in-front of me that went both up and down for eternity. At the end, an ancient roman themed entity was guarding an execution taking place. Another ancient person in 0-100 AD themed clothing was laying down on this iron table with a sharp ax-shaped pendulum swinging over his neck. The pendulum never got any closer, but it seemed to be implied that it would eventually migrate closer to this poor soul’s neck, separating his head from his body. I felt an urge to stop this from happening, but I couldn’t cross this infinite up and down pit in front of me.
Next thing I know, the end of this cave became my basement again. However, the infinite pit was still there, and 2 entities appeared 15 feet in front of me. The actually hadn’t just appeared. I had just realized that they had been there during the entire trip. They both looked like higher ranked and larger versions of the laboring stick people from earlier with their torsos fading before touching the ground like ghost. They were solid black and had 2 eyes each that rhythmically glowed orange and blue every second in sync with the other entity. Without my asking, they started downloading information into my mind telepathically. Information about how the how universe operates, why it is here, who we are, and how the universe and world would end in apocalypse. This was so much information that I couldn’t comprehend any of it, but I knew it was true. It would take trillions and trillions and trillions of terabytes of hard drive space to store all this information. Even though I couldn’t decode it into my puny human mind I felt the emotions it conveyed and knew how important it was.
All the sudden I screamed telepathically to them STOP!!! HOW DO I KNOW YOU ARE REAL AND NOT JUST MY IMAGINATION? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS REAL AND NOT JUST A HALLUCINATION!!! I don’t know why I reacted this way, but I did. Their reaction was a very indifferent “how dare you question at us” attitude. Then they said, “look at the banister at the end of your stairs, it is 106 centimeters.” I can’t describe the level of indifference they had. When they started downloading the information into my brain their attitude was very much “oh… ok… here we go again. Let’s just do this thing we always do over and over again since the beginning of time.” The 106 centimeters answer for some reason placated me even though I haven’t verified the result (yet!). They realized the downloading information technique wasn’t practical for my species and proceeded to tell me information in regular English telepathically. They said, “look into the pit.” I looked and saw 2 blue pale laser beams that extended from end of the universe to the other end. They said “these beams are antimatter that run through every particle and special unit of the universe. The beams power all existence and consciousness throughout the entire universe and weave like a web through everything. They are what you humans call “God” and explain everything you need to know. These beams are not a part of this universe but run through it on every level.” This made me feel so euphoric I began laughing and feel to the floor.
On the floor I closed my eyes and saw one of these beams get closer to me. I realized they had a more intricate structure. The appeared like a vine with these sharp metal spikes of electricity that ran the entire span of the “vine”. The entities were still off to the side communicating with me. They said” go ahead just grab ahold!” I grabbed on and these sharp metal spikes pieced through my hands. I wouldn’t say it was painful, but it was certainly intense. This electricity like substance began flowing through my body via my pierced hands. I felt the full power of the universe and everything people call “God” Flowing through me. The vine, with me still holding on, began shooting through the universe at light speed. As this was happening the entities told me “at all times in your life, all you have to do is HOLD ON.”
Over the next 30 seconds this vision faded into a cascade of bright electric molecules moving downwards through my vision for the next 2-3 minutes. Then it was over….
M had been passively watching this whole time and said I kept trying to communicate to him in this growling raspy demonic voice which I barely remember. I sat down on a lazy boy chair wrapped up in a blanket trying to comprehend what just happened. At no point during or after the experience was I scared or had a single ounce of anxiety. I was blown away. Instantly at that point I no longer believed in Christianity. 18 years of religious teachings evaporated in 15 minutes. I realized that reality is way more complex and powerful that I had thought previously. The universe was now a deep mysterious system that could never understood purely through materialism or science.
The next day M and I measured the stair banister. It was exactly, to the millimeter, 106 centimeters! The entity gave me a way to verify this experience was real when I asked AND WAS RIGHT! I also never use metric (I live in America). I think this was a way for them to let me know it wasn’t just my subconscious knowing the length even though I had never measured this before.
I am now 31 years old. I think about this experience at least once a week or so.
I think about this experience at least once a week or so.
When I am stressed or in a tough spot all I do is think of holding onto to the vine and things seem to work out almost magically. I also was able to break out of my ordinary American path, as far as my career, and be completely financially independent. There is no way this would have happened without this experience. I wouldn’t have ended up as some accountant in a cubical somewhere going to church every Sunday. I encourage everyone to grow this plant who can. We must preserve this ancient knowledge. It is a very important key to the universe.
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