BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

My partner, myself, and a friend decided that we would take two tabs of acid each at 240ug, on Thursday afternoon at 17.00, of January 1st 2020 – rather impromptu in our home at the time. I believe that so far in my psychedelic experiences I have taken LSD of lesser-purity as this trip began by-way of myself being unable to fathom any form of communication and my surroundings for lack of a better word, discombobulating. The walls of the room split/ tore from themselves and through the cracks I could see the cosmos. Upon looking through my book ‘Dinotopia: The World Beneath’, the beauty of the illustrations made me cry in awe and disbelief as the colours ran like water from the page. Shortly after this a friend of mine who had also taken some LSD became nervous and we decided that we would go for a walk. This was a mistake, as it was still early in the day and the streets very much populated, the experience only served to exacerbate the unease we were now all feeling.

It wasn’t until we had returned home that I semi-realised my trip had only just begun. My partner got up and left the house with no shoes on and I quickly followed, calling after him, also in just my socks. In my delirious state I saw only the whites of his eyes, to me he seemed like a man possessed, as I tried my hardest to steer him back home I had to even pull him from the road in order to prevent his suicide. These events, combined with my own reality-bending perception led me down a fragmented, psychotic, and hallucinatory path. I remember having to chase after my partner as he sprinted away from me, attempting to evade me, climb walls, and entering into homes. In order to try and stop him, on multiple occasions I grabbed ahold and held on to him for dear life, falling to the concrete-floor in doing so. In response, he bit me and frantically tried to free himself from my grasp.

When first I recall falling to the floor, I looked up to a person's window and saw what seemed to me as the grudge within its frame, she screamed at me as her body contorted unnaturally. I was not in control of my own body at this time and felt unable to prevent my body from mirroring her own. I fell to the floor as I felt my limbs crack and my body curl up into a square, progressively folding into myself till I was nothing, but everything simultaneously. Through the breaking down of my physical body, I had become one with the universe, I saw only yellow light and felt everything from the most unbearable pain to the most orgasmic of pleasures. Then my conscious being had split from my body and I was spoken to by a disembodied entity. It explained to me that I have entered into its realm prematurely and by being there I had left what I know to be reality and now experienced a new reality. Instead of simply being present in space-time the uncountable dimensions, fields, and states of reality had opened to me and I could experience them all. Apart from what we know, gravity, confusion, other states of emotion, and even LSD itself were dimensions that while we could not experience in our day-to-day perceptions existed as the foundations of a wider reality. I had ceased to be myself and was reborn as an inter-dimensional cosmic entity. But this was a reality that I could not accept as it came at the cost of everything and everyone I knew, and so I resisted.

The next thing I remember was looking at my body and falsely perceiving it to be battered, cut to pieces, and bleeding profusely (in reality I had only experienced slight injuries). I thought that I was dead, and not as a form of expression. As I looked down at my damaged self, I thought I had deceased and what I experienced was my own death, over and over again. I got up and ran after my partner who was sprinting down the alley we now found ourselves in, and in doing so I ran so fast that I thought I had become a beam of light and was looking at my partner enter into a luminous allegorical ocean of light ahead of me. I screamed his name at the top of my lungs, louder than I had ever screamed before (for a couple of days afterwards my vocal cords ached, as though I had been strangled). Upon the climax of my screams, once again I fell out of my body and into “everything”, the yellow light blanketing my vision. This happened on multiple occasions throughout the night, which led to myself being cut and bruised by the end of it. Being in only socks and passing through as well as falling into puddles of mud accumulated at the side of the road and alleys, my feet burned but in for as best as I can describe, a biblical sense. In-between deaths I experienced innumerable realities and felt I had lived a lifetime in this dimensional kaleidoscope of hellscapes.

Time was the thing that stood out for me most. I felt tethered to experience unending death-loops as I was unable or unwilling to disconnect my perception from the constraints of time. The disembodied voice told me that once I understood time then I would be free, but perhaps due to my resistance in losing everything I knew, I could not understand. After each death, the next one would be slower, as my body first folded into itself once more, and by the third time, it happened what seemed to be three times slower. After each time I questioned how long I could endure in order to keep a hold of the things I loved and knew - that being my partner in particular. I felt by letting go that I would lose it all but also saw no reason in enduring further to preserve it. Oddly enough, I recall scenes of Morgan Freeman watching me, being sat amidst rows of deep red, opulent cinema seats seemingly evaluating my reactions and thoughts, but the voice I heard was not his.

Once I had decided that I would let go I found myself being placed into the back of a police car. The policeman probably said something reassuring but yet I still could not completely let go and experienced another death. After which, I let go. It was as if I had been blessed, time moved so very slowly and the voice told me that I had experienced death before my time. It was as though upon experiencing death, life had ballooned into a cardioid. I knew my fated day awaited me but I was now gifted with insight, as if one day I would return to the doors of death be familiar, know what to do, and where to go.

First, I was taken to hospital in handcuffs, two policemen sat with me while my heart-rate returned to normal and an ECG performed on my person. Next, I was taken to spend 24 hours in a prison cell as the LSD wore off and I was able to give an interview of what had happened. This was truly the worst and most enlightening night of my life. While I do not regret experiencing it, I do not wish to do so under these circumstances ever again. I sat in that cell petrified, tripping, and unable to sleep with worry. I did not want either of us to go to prison.

Now, I feel as though I have gained a life-perk in ‘time-perception’. Time is slow, and never think of it as anything but, as otherwise, it will be fast.

Lesson learnt: When trying newly bought acid for the first time, always only take the one tab.

UPDATE: 12/1/20

It was not till that Sunday that I dreamt once again, but I felt it to be mythopoeic in nature and a reflection of my recent experiences. The setting was that of the mythic bronze age, which is very unusual for my otherwise mundane regular dream history. The dream was long and I am still not quite so good at remembering, even straight after waking up. For reason/s that now escape me, I recall having to enter an exotic farm filled with zebras, oxen, and lions. It made me feel as though I were a cat in headlights and immediately thought ‘I ought to leave this place’. The lions seemed skittish but curious and as one approached me, it allowed me to stroke it but I promptly left before any grew confident enough to attack.

The next thing I remember is going on a fishing trip with a large, and capable man, a teenage boy, and an Indian girl, no older than five that I had apparently adopted. There was also a fourth member of our party that required me to return to shore in order to allow entry onto our vessel. As I was helping him onto the deck, I spotted an extravagant ancient Greek-like brick building, with vines climbing about its exterior. It was situated against the cliff of a tall plateau and tentatively I decided that I would investigate with my adopted daughter as the others continued fishing.

As I entered, I was greeted by a wide variety of residents, mostly women, all finely dressed, and I was taken aback by the luxuriousness of its decor, but I’ll spare you the details. It was so encapsulating that I thought I ought to offer the residents, my daughter, in a confounded belief that this would be a better life for her. Quickly, I decided that was a stupid thought and demanded her back but instead I was brought, other children. I snatched a sword from one of the residents and hastily began to fight my way through the house looking for her, slashing down anyone who stood in my way, man or woman.

Upon reaching the upstairs, I entered into an office, and low-and-behold Julius Caesar stood behind a long desk holding my child in his arm while strategizing over a map. He was accompanied by an entourage of beings that seemed to me like the heroes of Greek myth, positively gleaming with excellence. I flipped the table in rage and consequently began fighting who I thought to be Heracles as the others stood back and watched. Unsurprisingly, I was no match for the demi-god, but he allowed me to put up a sporting fight nonetheless. With almost certain excruciating death moments away, Caesar commanded Heracles to halt. Still in a state of adrenaline, I thrust my sword at the now motionless Heracles’ eye and drew blood. The look he gave me was that of inevitable vengeance. I think Caesar was about to add me to his personnel, but then regrettably, I awoke.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115089
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jan 22, 2021	Views: 810
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LSD (2), Police / Customs (60) : Entities / Beings (37), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Various (28)